doesnt make sense

ok, been off for 8weeks. was getting a little better recently but doc said to go back to 10 mg and taper. took it for two days and ended up in emergency. now people are saying cold turkey is too hard on the system and all this stuff....well i tried to go back and taper but look what happened. i havent taken it in two days because look what it did. i was planning on just going the way i was and wait it out but people are saying it will leave permanent damage. well what about my blackout and mini jolts and major anxiey from re taking it?????? i dont know what to do. i think im gonna just stay off and get through it but now iv read all these people saying not to go cold turkey, well i already did and going back to try and taper didnt work. i tried. what to do then? i was really a lot better a week ago before i restarted than i am now. i havent taken it for two days but the last trhee days i cant even type sometimes without shaking, major palipitations, nervous, dizzy light head, blurry vission, supper insomnia...i take ativan to help. so what are anybodys oppinion. getting better slowly before, or messed up because i took it for two days....take it or continue cold turkey and ride it out??? i really feel like my body hates it.