Very Slow wean - why so bad?

[HanPanes]

I'm so fed up of going through this, I'm over 6 weeks away from my last 1mg withdrawal and no let up of the overwhelming depression, suicidal thoughts, crying on and off all day, exhausted, housebound, inner agitation and torture from within......the list goes on.

Why am I doing this? I'm going so slowly that it's hard to imagine any slower, been coming down from 60mg for nearly 6 years now. Don't feel I'm normal to suffer so severely with such a small drop. Many years ahead of me, life is so bleak and just managing through each day.

At this rate I'm never going to be able to reduce again and even if I did feel strong enough I can't face the horrendousness of it all again. IS THIS JUST ME? Please someone tell me why this is so hard and how people ever C/T!!!! Am I just over sensitive, maybe I am just 'different' in some way.

All the awfulness of being in a psych ward comes back to me at times like this and I can't find any happy memories anywhere that are outside of what I've been told is being 'mentally ill'

Any support really really needed, thanks
Han

[Mozart22]

6 years of withdrawal?? holy crap. That's scary

[HanPanes]

I had a lot of periods in that time when I wasn't reducing ie) studying, getting married, moving house etc, so I haven't actively been withdrawing all that time but yes it's been a very long road...

[Mozart22]

I hope things get better for u HanPanes

[babs]

Believe it or not, you ARE going to get through this; it just seems like it's endless while you're going through it. Some people just seem to have a worse time of it than others. Have faith that you are doing the right thing and keep going, one day at a time, because this will be all behind you one day. I hope you get some relief soon. ((HUGS))

[scotty]

You will get through this....but remember there are other drugs in the mix, which may be causing some of the problems that are cropping up.

Keep going!

[since95]

Hey Han

February will be 3 years going through w/d and for 2-1/2 of those years I followed a very slow, gradual taper and never was able to stabalize. It has been over 100 days off Paxil and though the road has been very bumpy, we can never truly start to heal until we are off the drug completely. Keep on going. Good health is in the future!

[HanPanes]

I hear what everyon'e saying but I'm at a crossroads, should I increase the Prozac to get some relief? Not sure it'll help anyway. The last drop was obviously too much and I'd hate to have to give in and go up a mg.

Everyone that I speak to outside PP say diff things, some stay don't ever go up again, you just need to stabilise on this dose, others say if you have to go back up to get stable.
My gut feeling is to remain at this level and just wait as long as it takes to stabilise.

If I am this depressed, surely I should be on ANTIDEPRESSANTS!!! even now I struggle to fully believe that they're causing all the problems, stupid I know. It doesn't make sense anymore

[scotty]

I decided with Ryan that one can't "diagnose" a brain altered on drugs. Don't judge the ultimate "you" by what you are feeling now...this isn't your reality.

[nicole55]

This won't help you feel better today. But I wanted to throw it out there.

I don't know if you have looked into any reading on the subject. There are many books recommended in older posts here.

I just wanted to suggest one book that helped me a great deal called....
YOUR DRUG MAY BE YOUR PROBLEM , by Peter Breggin and David Cohen
It is a vey interesting side of things.

I hope you get some relief soon.

[HanPanes]

Hi Nicole, thanks for the recommendation. Your drug may be your problem was in fact years ago our first clue as to what was going on with me so I've read and re read it, also read Medication Madness by same author which has truly scary accounts and is so illuminating.

The trouble is once you know your drugs(s) is your problem you still gotta get get off them! These books certainly are a stark and helpful reminder that it's not 'you' in the darkest days.

How are you finding being drug free?! I love to hear from anybody who's succeeded, go on cheer me up, you know you want to!

[westeewoman]

Han- how is your diet? Have you explored supplements? Some people find that fish oil and magnesium and various vitamins can be very helpful...Do you consume alcohol or caffeine? Do you eat a lot of sweets?

Diet, supplements, meditation, gentle exercise - have you given any of these a try?

[HanPanes]

Westeewoman, thanks for your post and input. I don't drink at all and no caffeine for over a year now. I take a lot of supplements including the ones you mentioned but if they're helping it's certainly isn't lot which is disheartening.

I try to be good with my diet although do slip now and then. I've got some meditation podcasts and they help, sometimes if just to get me to sleep. I walk when it's not raining.

[HanPanes]

Without starting a new thread I really need some advice people. Just when I think I'm turning a corner I crash again. Yesterday I felt a bit brighter and was able to do little things and go out to quiet places. But today I've slept on and off all day and the depression is squeezing everything out of me

I have episodes where I completely lose it - out of control crying, have to sit of my hands for fear of what I might do to myself or my husband or even the cat, I feel like a mad woman, such intense thoughts and rage. My days are a blur of pain and I have NO life whatsoever at the moment. Can't cope with the washing up, showering, cooking etc.

Should I increase my Prozac again? - I've lost the will to believe that this will pass. This must have been too bigger reduction for me but it's been nearly 7 weeks now since last drop.

Does the brain adapt to too big a drop or is the only way to increase and then do more slowly?

Please help, I'd welcome any of your experiences. I'm loathe to increase as I hate this drug so much but can't believe what it's doing to me..

[Rachelina]

Originally Posted by HanPanes

Just when I think I'm turning a corner I crash again.

This is the classic pattern! It happens to me ALL the time and it's so, so frustrating. I don't know what you should do but just want to send you hugs from across the sea and let you know you're not alone. Hope you have better days soon.

[scotty]

Han...remember you added in the Elavil, which is going to have some effect.

[HanPanes]

Thanks guys - yes soooo FRUSTRATING!!!!

When I have an 'episode' it takes me a while to recover so I try my best not to 'provoke' them and keep as calm as possible even through hysterical sobs and shouting.

Scotty I'm only on the 5mg of Elavil - will that really be playing a part? I def now think the Flupenthixol is making a mess of things. The headaches are still constant although less severe than they were and I think have been helped somewhat by Noni juice and acupunture so maybe time to get off Elavil.

Is there a danger of remaining at the same dose when you're not stabilising and have gone too quick or is it a case of having enough willpower to ride it out.
What I'm trying to establish is what the safest thing to do is, if I've gone too quickly is the only option to go back up?

Thanks for the hugs and thoughts.

[Songbird]

I know how it feels to not want to updose, last year I crashed at 4.5mg and only went back up to 5mg and struggled on for a few months, but never restabilised there, eventually I updosed a lot more to get relief because I felt that I couldn't take it any more.

If you're struggling that much, I would go back up, to say, 10mg. A small dose increase might be worth it to get some relief and a decent quality of life. I would wait to restabilise, then taper the other two drugs, and after that, do a much slower Prozac wean. Just my two cents worth...

I know it's awful to have to take such a long time. I've had many failed attempts, and this time I'm going at a snail's pace in the hope that I'll finally be successful, no matter how long it takes.