Getting ready to taper off of Citalopram/Celexa

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Hi, I have been reading the posts here, and I have been taking Citalopram (generic for Celexa) for about 3 years. I have reached the point where the effects of this medication has clearly changed me in so many ways. I wish there was one thing I could list that is positive but I can't. I am preparing myself for slow and steady tapering in 2 days.

I am 35 years old and mother to 2 small children. I began this whole thing taking Lexapro. I was 6 months pregnant when my mother died from cancer, and after her birth I lost control of all my emotions between my mom dying and having a new baby. It was horrible! So i opted for a temporary fix and just never got off of it.

About 6 months of paying $100/month for the Lexapro, I asked my doctor to prescribe me the generic version of it. Unaware that she switched my to Celexa I happily paid $4.00/month for my med. It's sad, because had I known I changed this crucial medication from the cream of the crop version to the dirty version I would have kept paying the $100/month!!

In the last year, I have visibly gone from a very upbeat, happy person. Loving and affectionate, caring and responsive to people's needs to an unpleasant, numb, flat, unresponsive person that my life has continually gone down hill including my work, my marriage and my overall well being. I hardly laugh anymore, I argue continually with my husband, I can't ever understand why he can't see things my way so small arguments explode into huge "heading for divorce" like arguments, I avoid anything and everything that has to do with stress, confrontation, anger, sadness, etc. Basically I just flat out avoid it because I don't know how to deal with it. When I am confronted with long conversations the best way I can describe myself is like Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good as It Gets" when he is in the cafe and Helen Hunt is trying to talk to him. He gets fidgety, annoyed, and impatient. I have a great lack of compassion and a strong detachment from family and friends. I have withdrawn from almost everyone I know in a physical manner, the only communication I have regularly is on Facebook or email.

That's me in a nutshell. I have allowed this to go on for so long because i didn't know what it was that was making me be like this. I guess I just assumed it was me changing for other life reasons and I never connected the two. Currently I am on 40mg Citalopram. I started on 10mg. And have bumped up to 40mg within a year and half. I am maxed out on my dosage amount and now I just take the pill so that I don't fall into depression and get worsened psychological issues. It does nothing for me at all.

These are my symptoms:
- depression
- crying for no reason
- thought of suicide
- hair loss
- picking at my fingers and nails
- anxiety
- low self esteem
- trouble speaking and choosing words
- withdrawn from family and friends
- tired and groggy all the time
- trouble sleeping
- vivid dreams and nightmares
- trembling in my sleep (spasms)
- zaps
- muscle and joint pain
- feelings of giving up on everything I have worked for and care about
- weight gain
- forgetfulness
- headaches
- lack of motivation
- unable to prioritize my day; work and family


When we figured out that it was the medication - the night we were most definitely separating- we stopped in our tracks and started educating ourselves with these psychiatric drugs that are given willy nilly to people that SHOULD NOT BE ON THEM! Long term especially. Why aren't the doctors keeping track of the people that are not clinically depressed? I was clearly not someone that fits that shoe and it was CLEAR to my doctor that i just needed short term help to get me through the post partum and death of my mom. I feel like a fool to have got sucked in to this for so long. I always had a fear of getting off because there was always some big "life" thing going on to not deal with it.

My husband has also suffered a great deal and just when he thought there was no helping our situation for some reason this problem clicked when it did. We are more of a unit now helping each other, but he has gone through a lot of emotional damage and stress that makes him uneasy. I have to remember this is not ALL about me. But it's hard because I am emotionally incapable of being as compassionate as he is.

The one thing about me is that I am a very strong spirit. (Like my mom was) and I am very much into meditation and affirmations. I know for a fact that there was a divine intervention that came to us the night Dave connected the medication. There was absolutely no reason for us to turn the corner towards healing that night, rather than us trying to figure out what we are going to do about our separation; kids, living arrangements, etc.

Through all of this chaos, there was always a part of me that begged to live better, that begged to let my husband know how much a truly love him and that begged for me to be successful running my own business. But it was like it was behind a huge glass wall and couldn't be heard. I have had dreams of alter ego situations, it's like the real me wanting to show herself but the medicated me is so overpowering that i couldn't be heard. I am so sick and tired of this mental B.S. I just want to be myself again!! I know its going to be a rough road ahead, and I need all the help I can get to remind myself that its the medication that is talking - not me.

I am very excited to hear some feedback. I think this will be a really good thing for me to look forward to every day. We all need inspiration and to feel like we are loved and understood. I hope that I can be of some help too!

[Rachelina]

Hi and welcome! It's great that you have figured out that the drug is your problem. It sounds like you may be in poop-out, which is when the drug stops working and you get withdrawal while still on it. You might very well feel better as you slowly lower your dose. Do you have a plan for tapering? We recommend dropping by 10% of your current dose every 3 - 6 weeks, which is most easily done using liquid...otherwise you will need to cut pills and use a scale to weigh the fragments. You have a lot of insight and self-awareness and I think you'll do great. I'm sure more people will chime in soon but I just wanted to say welcome!

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Thanks so much for the welcome! I have to admit I have been a hawk on here waiting for a reply. So I appreciate you taking the time! I really feel like I am not as bad as most others and their experiences. My plan is SLOW AND STEADY!. I have the pill form and I am getting a scale. I am planning on shaving off 10% at first and then following the recommended plan from this site here. I am implementing a strong diet and exercise routine and meditation daily. I wondered if it made any difference on the amount and the type of medication I am on. Should I follow the same as a PAXIL user? I am really glad to be part of a group now that understands. I will be here often checking in and keeping track of my w/d symptoms.

Oh I also wanted to mention that my doctor did not tell me that the generic version would be a different drug. How should I feel about that?? She didn't tell me, therefore I was unaware that I was switching over to a different drug and I feel like I should have been informed that this was happening - it is my right! Right?

--------
40mg Citalopram
3 years
My taper to begin on 01-12-10 (2 more days!)

[scotty]

Welcome to paxilprogress! I happy you had the "ah ha" moment that we all had when it comes to these drugs. As you know you are not alone in this.

Now the technical stuff....there is no way to do this fast. This is a commitment that is going to take time...no shortcuts.

The good news is that celexa does come in liquid. We, through trial and error of many posters, have come up with the 10% wean(of your current dose) every 3-6 weeks. Withdrawal symptoms can take a few weeks to show up, so weaning any faster than that can be problematic.

We have a spreadsheet here to make it easier.

You've taken the first step figuring out what the problem is...now take your time correcting it. We're here for you and for your husband.

[carolyn]

Welcome! I don't have any specific knowledge of celexa, but it sounds like you're on the right path -- good slow taper, good diet, good exercise...awesome start!

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. The one-two punch of her death and the new baby must have been so overwhelming. {{{HUG}}}

[nicole55]

My understanding, and I might be wrong, is that there is not a generic version of Lexapro available at this point yet.

But let me get this straight, you asked about a generic version--- and rather that tell you there is no generic or whatever----your doctor just totally switched the SSRI you were on , without even telling you.

Unbelievable! I keep thinking I've heard it all with these doctors and their ignorance on these ssri's, but I keep getting surprised.


UncomfortablyNumb keep reading, and you will find out a lot of good information here about tapering and about SSRI's- things that the Doctors and the drug pamphlets never tell you.

And don't worry you can get off this drug! Good luck !

[scotslass]

Welcome to paxil progress,it sounds like you are off to a good start just by realising that it is the drug and not you that is making you feel so miserable.Things will get better,just take it slow and easy and you will do fine.Best of luck to you!

[rain]

I'm tapering Celexa too. I haven't had any major problems. A few here and there but they go away. I do believe Celexa is one of the easiest to taper from, at least for me. Go slowly... I think that's the key. What you are looking for is quality of life while you are going through this.

[INFP]

I took Celexa for about 3 or 4 years too (my memory is still not good). I found that the higher I went in dose, the more sarcastic I became. The generic never worked for me. I tapered too fast and that first year was very frightening for me. Please heed the advice to take it slow so you will be successful. I did it too fast every time (believing the doctors when they told me they weren't addictive and it must be my depression returning) and these drugs stole 20 years of my life. I'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary of being SSRI free and while I'm much, much improved, I still have more of a healing journey ahead of me.

You are fortunate to have a supportive husband. I've learned that while we are going through our healing journey, our partners need to be reminded that we love and appreciate them - even though it's hard to do when you feel so numb inside. Good luck.

[WhatIsNormal]

I was on Celexa before Paxil. I tapered it way to fast in hindsight (over a period of about a month-month & a half, yes way too fast to taper a SSRI but at that time I only had doctor's orders to go by). That said, I found tapering Celexa much easier than this tapering Paxil hell ride has been... but we are all different. I do however believe that tapering Celexa too fast is part of the reason I wound up back on another AD, even though the taper was on the easy side for me.

Celexa wasn't as mind numbing to me as Paxil but it made me gain a ton of weight. And once I got off of it and I started dealing with problems which in hindsight were probably delayed withdrawal symptoms, I tried to reinstate it and just could not get stable.

I think if you taper nice and slow you should do pretty good. Paxil is the worst true SSRI to withdrawal from. Not that plenty of others haven't give people here and elsewhere complete hell but at least initially I would go into it with the mindframe that at least it is not Paxil

[pokie]

UncomfortablyNumb,
Do I know what you mean by being numb!!!! Have alot of your same symptoms......
Pokie-where have our emotions gone?

[Songbird]

It does sound like you are in poop-out (tolerance withdrawal), which is unusual after only 3 years, unless you'd been on ADs previously. The drug is no longer working and you start to get withdrawal symptoms even while on a full dose. A slow taper is the way to go, and you can taper citalopram the same way as Paxil.

I wouldn't worry too much about the difference between Lexapro (escitalopram) and Celexa. Your doc should have informed you of the switch, however they are very similar and many people can switch between them without problems (unlike switching between other SSRIs). The difference is that Lexapro contains only the S form of citalopram, whereas Celexa contains both forms. I think it's unlikely that you're any worse off being on Celexa rather than Lexapro. I don't think Lexapro is the 'cream of the crop', rather just a way to extend a patent.

If you can get liquid, that is the easiest way to taper, otherwise you can use a digital scale and cut and weigh pills. Dose drops should be no more than 10% and wait at least three weeks until stable before dropping again.

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Well, since I originally posted on this site, i still have not begun my taper of Citalopram. If you were to ask me right now, why this is, i would tell you I am just going to finish the rest of the 40mg pills (2 wks left) and then start tapering with the liquid RX that is still sitting at the pharmacy and has been for 2 weeks. Is this putting it off? I take the pills to maintain wellness, but if i don't take it at the same time every day I slip. Could it be that I am fearing the WD and putting it off?

It is this procrastination problem that i have for myself. Working out, losing weight, cooking a meal, cleaning the house - doing the things that would benefit me in the end. I have this compulsive thinking of wanting things right now.

When we discovered the connection to my behavior with the med, I was reading posts every morning, interacting, reading books, and keeping a steady journal every morning. I notice I am doing it all less and less each day as life gets busier. I am also communicating less and less with my husband. This is not good.
I am worrying a lot about my health lately. I smoke about 1/2 - 3/4 pack a day, and I have been drinking a lot of wine lately at night. I have been drinking bout 3-4 glasses at least a night. (less than a full bottle) I am noticing when I wake up the next day I feel down (which makes sense) sometimes i don't, but sometimes i do, and i know alcohol is a depressant. I just enjoy it alot while my husband and i cook and listen to music together after the kids go to bed. It brings me out of my shell. I laugh, I have fun, I am funny.

However, I am building this tolerance i have never really had before to alcohol. And i know this is not a good thing.

[LCrawford67]

Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb

Well, since I originally posted on this site, i still have not begun my taper of Citalopram. If you were to ask me right now, why this is, i would tell you I am just going to finish the rest of the 40mg pills (2 wks left) and then start tapering with the liquid RX that is still sitting at the pharmacy and has been for 2 weeks. Is this putting it off? I take the pills to maintain wellness, but if i don't take it at the same time every day I slip. Could it be that I am fearing the WD and putting it off?

No one can tell you whether you're fear is putting this off, or not. That's something only you can answer. But, go get your liquid, before they put it back on the shelf and you have to wait, again.

Taking at the same time doesn't matter, as long as you take it daily, that's the most important.

[magpie]

Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb

I am worrying a lot about my health lately. I smoke about 1/2 - 3/4 pack a day, and I have been drinking a lot of wine lately at night. I have been drinking bout 3-4 glasses at least a night. (less than a full bottle) I am noticing when I wake up the next day I feel down (which makes sense) sometimes i don't, but sometimes i do, and i know alcohol is a depressant. I just enjoy it alot while my husband and i cook and listen to music together after the kids go to bed. It brings me out of my shell. I laugh, I have fun, I am funny.

However, I am building this tolerance i have never really had before to alcohol. And i know this is not a good thing.

Wow - can I ever relate to the alcohol thing. I so craved my evening & weekend beer. It seemed the only highlight to my wretched existence. But SSRIs increased my alcohol use from moderate to raging alcoholism, and I am not the only one on here who's been affected similarly. Man... I drank excessively and just recently quit (after deciding that my last 12-beer binge on an empty stomach was enough.) You are not alone. I wish you well in your tapering. Stay strong!

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Originally Posted by LCrawford67

No one can tell you whether you're fear is putting this off, or not. That's something only you can answer. But, go get your liquid, before they put it back on the shelf and you have to wait, again.

Taking at the same time doesn't matter, as long as you take it daily, that's the most important.

yes i agree. I sort of felt like the answers are within myself when i wrote that. I guess i am still trying to identify my habits and actions that i have ignored for so long. I will go get my rx today.

[Aeroman]

I was on 10mg of Lexapro for 2.5 years and I have been off for close to 23-months. I can relate to ALL of your issues, including the marriage part. It does take a toll on your spouse and everyone around you that you love.

Lexapro is a bastard of a drug...very potent.

Hang in there...

You can read my Lexapro Withdrawal Journal:

http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=37327

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Okay! I started my taper yesterday! I am very excited to get the ball rolling on this venture. I am one day closer to getting my old self back! SLOW AND STEADY! Plan for the 1st 4 weeks is to reduce one pill 10%. So on and so on. I predict to be completely off with 8-10 months.

Day 1:

[pokie]

Good luck J.P.!

[paxilgirl]

Good luck in your taper. Everyone has said it all here. You are in good hands. Listen to their advice!

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb

Okay! I started my taper yesterday! I am very excited to get the ball rolling on this venture. I am one day closer to getting my old self back! SLOW AND STEADY! Plan for the 1st 4 weeks is to reduce one pill 10%. So on and so on. I predict to be completely off with 8-10 months.

Day 1:

I am very happy to report that I am one month and 1 week into my taper. I am in my first week if my second reduction. I am feeling very similar to the first month with minimal complaints. However these are some of the things i have been experiencing for the past week consistently:

- eye twitch in my right eye
- bad headaches
- tingling sensation on the top of my head (in the same spot)

Other than that, i am doing fine. I am busy with work and it has been interefering with my home life. I work from home and i have a hard time drawing the line between work and home life. That has been my biggest obstacle so far, and the only thing that has actually caused me any real stress - I am keeping a mindful attitude and catching myself whenever old triggers come up. I am able to curb the old habits that way and "reroute" my mind to think differently. I am not sure how the taper is going to develop, as the second set of tapering has increased some extra side effects. The headaches are close to debilitating, and get a slight numbness in my face, the tingles on the top of my head feels like a spider or something is tangled in my hair and it doesn't go away by scratching it so i don't bother. Lately i have been feeling tired again, and overwhelmed with work load and household responsibilities. I know it might sound pretty light compared to a lot of people's experiences in here but it is what i am experiencing and i have to remind myself every day to communicate my feelings to my husband as well as in here to keep that connection alive and not forget what is really happening here. It is easy to "forget" when i get caught up with life in general. Key here is communication I believe. So i'll keep doing that for now.

1-4 weeks: .36mg:
5th week - Current: .34 mg

[pokie]

That's great that you have almost like no complaints!!! Congratulations on trying to get your life back and Good Luck!! I hope our not indulging in alcohol Missy! LOL

Pokie

[stan]

Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb

Okay! I started my taper yesterday! I am very excited to get the ball rolling on this venture. I am one day closer to getting my old self back! SLOW AND STEADY! Plan for the 1st 4 weeks is to reduce one pill 10%. So on and so on. I predict to be completely off with 8-10 months.
Day 1:

hi

taper 40 mg in 10 months is too fast

i have tapered 20 mg in 11 months and it was too fast

in your case i would see again your schedule
there is mistake
bye

[Mixter]

Originally Posted by stan

hi

taper 40 mg in 10 months is too fast

i have tapered 20 mg in 11 months and it was too fast

in your case i would see again your schedule
there is mistake
bye

I agree with stan 1000%

Reconsider your taper schedule.

Good luck, whatever you try to do.
Better slow now than later. I am doing my next cut 3.1%.

Slow and steady and we will be okay!

Just my 2 cents.

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Yes, i think i evaluated my taper too fast too I must have made a mistake in the reductions. We are looking at it again. When i wrote it down on the calendar to mark my 4 week spans, i filled up my calender and in December i still have a way to go on the reductions after that. So i think in my mind i was thinking 12 months. I realize the key is slow and steady. I would much rather have a very smooth experience than getting too eager and screwing myself over.