Bad Day !

I had a bad day yesterday, I knew when I woke it wasnt going to be good, so I got up straight away and decided to busy myself, I went to my boyfriends and painted, cleaned anything to keep busy. Every hours was a struggle, I fell asleep in his bed in the afternoon to be woken by him saying thank you for what I had done, then what did I do, I started to cry, I went home and cried and cried, felt so alone. For the first time in ages I rang him and asked him for help, he did come round and listened to me it was great to have someone there. It is like I am just waking up and all that I have managed to accomplish while being on paxil is like a dream. Kinda how did I get here in this little flat? Remembering all that I have been through but looking at it being awake. It is like it has all been a dream and I have woken up. This probably doesnt make much sense but that is how I feel as though I have been picked up and put down here.

mell, I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time of it. I know how hard it is to struggle through this withdrawal. This is no easy road. The physical symptoms are absolutely miserable--but the emotional upheaval is nearly UNBEARABLE! Just know that you are not alone in your battle. Many others are going through the same thing, and we are here to support each other. When one person is having an awful time of it, someone else can be there to bolster you. And it works both ways.

Are you trying to get in some exercise? That helps get the feel-good endorphins to kick in. Are you trying to stay away from caffeine, alcohol, and sugar? Try to increase your intake of protein. Sometimes herbal tea, especially chamomile, is soothing.

What dose are you currently on? If you are dealing with a lot of emotional stuff, do not drop your dose further--stay put and wait until you stabilize. If things get really miserable, up your dose a bit for the time being, and then attempt a decrease a ways down the road. Do not be too hard on yourself. I know what you mean about the "fog." I was up to 60 mg and took Celexa (I think it's called Cipromil in the UK???) and then Paxil (your Seroxat) for almost 4 yrs. I even had Buspar, Xanax, and Ambien in the mix. As I look back on that time, there are months of my life, perhaps years really, that I do not really remember. That is pathetic. I have now been off Paxil for almost 3.5 months and am doing quite well. The emotional upheaval has mellowed, and I no longer have any of the physical stuff I had while tapering. You will make it through, mell--trust me. Be good to yourself. I'll be thinking good thoughts and sending them your way.

Thanks NM for replying, I dont know if there will ever be a time in my life when things arent bad, it has followed through from childhood, ran to a marrage to escape only to end up in a worse situation. I am now free, but to be free is so scary. I just so want to be totally free to be myself, no paxil rulling me. I got to bed at night and think tomorrow I will go swimming, the next day comes and i dont seem to have that push to do it. Yesterday I pushed myself to go and do what I did but it took all my engergy and left me more emotioanlly drained. I need friends i know that and I will only find them if I get out there and start living again. Which I know I will do. Hugs NM

Mell - did you say in another post that you has dropped from 20 - 10mgs. Sorry if Ive got that wrong - sometimes hard to remember what stage everyone is at.
If that is you - do you think it may be worth upping your dose a little for a few weeks and reducing again a bit slower?
It might just help to make you feel a bit better.

Hi kizzie, yes it was me that has dropped from 20mg to 10mg. I have thought about going back up again, but I spoke to my boyfriend and he says he will help me all he can, I think I will try a bit longer on this dosage, though the Dr was wanting me to go to every other day next week, and I am sure that I am not ready for that yet. Thanks for your reply hugsx

Hey, mell--I agree with Kizzie. Why not up your current dose? Let me tell you, I am the master of pill-cutters! It is the best way to get off this stuff, no matter what you call it--Paxil, Seroxat, or $%#^%! Get yourself a pill cutter--they're readily available and very cheap here in the US. I got one for US$4. Take your 20 mg tablet and cut it in half for two 10s. Then take one 10 mg chunk and cut it in half for two 5s. Take at least 15 mg. Stay at 15 mg for a minimum of 2 weeks. Next, cut some 5 mg chunks in half so that you can drop to 12.5 mg. Do not decrease the dose if you are feeling withdrawal--either physical symptoms or emotional instability. This is extremely important, mell. Your brain needs adjustment time, and many people just don't allow for that. Your brain has been functioning with this chemical, and now you're taking it away.

Here in the US, Dr. Peter Breggin is an authority from Harvard and well-versed in all this withdrawal business. He states that you should not drop by more than 10% of the current dose. If you are on 20 mg, that would amount to only a 2 mg drop. Once at 10 mg, that would be a mere 1 mg drop. When I got to 10 mg (and I started on this path at a whopping 60 mg) I got the Paxil suspension (liquid.) It makes it easier to drop by just 1 mg. I also got some 10 mg pills because I could easily cut them for doses of 7.5, 5, and 2.5. Sometimes taking a pill chunk with you if traveling or going out is just easier.

Don't let yourself struggle right now and feel so miserable. Take Kizzie's advice, and mine for that matter, and increase your dose for a while--say 15 mg. Then drop slowly--but don't alternate doses. It will only make withdrawal worse. Remember: YOU CAN DO IT!

Hi, Yes I think I will follow your advise and go up to 15mg, Im due to see the dr on Thurday so I will tell him what I feel I need to do. I am actually on the liquid form at the moment, so I am going to see if I can get one of those mesuring things that you use for kids med so I can mesure it out carefully, Thanks again to everyone for your input

Hang in there girl

I have been to the Drs and told him that I am not ready to decrease anymore yet and that I would like to moderate my withdrawal myself and he was fine about it. So I am now on 15mg and I think I am ok, I feel very very tired though and a bit scatty. I put milk in my kettle yesterday instead of water, no wonder I think Im going mad

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Did you boil the milk?

Hi, I hope things are going better for you? I would go with NM's advice regarding tapering at 10% each time, and stabilizing in between. If you're not doing so well, go back to a previous dose until you feel stable. I know I took 2 years going between 10mg and 5mg before I finally quit. And I didn't know about the 10% rule, that would have really helped me!

Regardless, you have the rest of your life to wean off this medication, so take it slow, and be kind to yourself.
Take care,
Joy

Thank you Joy, I will follow the advice, Im not gonna let this beat me. and no jo jo I didnt boil the kettle lol
Hugx

Hi Eveyone, I'm just sending you this post as I wont be able to post for a while. I am going on holiday for the first time in 22 years after leaving a violent marrage. When I get back they have found me somewhere to live perminantly so I will have to pack up all my belongings and move. I am absolutly terrified but excited at the same time. If I can get throught this move and settle I think that I will be able to get off the Paxil. I will stay on the dose I am on at the moment untill I am settled in my new home. A big thank you to you all for being there. xx

Mell - Good Luck with everything. I hope it all works out well for you!!

I would definately stay on the same dose for now - would be too much to go through all that AND try and reduce at same time.

Let us know how you are getting on. Sounds like this really is the first day of the rest of your life!

Kizziexx

Well im back from my holiday and it was fantastic, I cope with every thing fine. Only trouble is I have put on yet more weight. I got home at 2am this morning and I have found out today that I have to move tomorrow, so I am packing up all my belongings ready for the big day tomorrow. Time will tell how I cope but im definatly not reducing anymore untill I am settle in my new home. Hugx

I got up this morning thinking I could sort everything, had appointment at drs at 8.30 and was due to sign on at the job center this afternoon. I went to the drs only to find out the appointment was for next week, (managed to make one for tomorrow as I am nearly out of paxil). Then checked my signing on date and time and I should have signed on yesterday. My head just feels asthough it is full off cotton wool. Im not coping!! Im trying to sort things out with my new home but not getting anywhere fast. I just wish I could crawl in a hole and when I came out everything was back to normal and I could laugh and enjoy life again.

Mell,
The hole you're in is paxil withdrawal, and when you come out of it, everything will be back to normal and you will laugh and enjoy life again.

Remember, you are recovering. Memory lapses, fuzzy thinking, all are part of the brain's healing. Be patient with yourself. So some things, even important ones, aren't going to go as planned. It's not the end of the world. What's important is that you are healing, and as you heal, you are able to handle life better.

It will be okay, take it from me and the rest of us who've gone thru this . . . don't expect yourself to be operating at optimum right now. Expect to be in recovery, and expect that you will fully recover with time.
Joy

Thanks Angel, I know I have to keep reminding myself that it is paxil and not me. I know everyone is going through the same thing and I hope that I can support people the same way you are soon. Hugx