How does one decide to remain off of paxil long term?

[Paxman]

I have quit paxil before and have gotten through the worst of the anxiety and depression and came out alive on the other end by the grace of God before. But I was wondering, has anyone on here every looked back after they quit asking themselves if they seem to be a better person on paxil? What keeps you away? I get pulled back in, not because of WD symptoms (though I have been pulled in that way too). I am currently weaning down again for hopefully my final quit and I want to know how to deal with that aspect. I seem to fall in a circle of when I am on it, I want off and some how I miss it when I am off and get back on it. I've always thought I needed something, even if it is just talk therapy, but what stops people from taking the easy road back? Could this still be a sign of withdrawl?

[NoRx4me]

What stopped me from ever going back to psych meds was learning the facts about them. The total fraud that drug treatment for a psychiatric diagnosis is. I would never give another dime to that industry and more importantly, never ingest another poison no matter how good it might make me feel.

I read "Your Drug May Be Your Problem" by Dr. Peter Breggin, then a few other books of his, then books by others.

Another major eye opener for me was reading the labels of the drugs I was on. I was shocked. I had glanced at them before but my mind didn't comprehend the facts because I was on mind altering drugs at the time. Well, I also needed a medical dictionary to fully comprehend what they said. I got one from a used bookstore and looked up every word I didn't know. My conclusion after doing that; "I am lucky to be alive!"

The complete FDA labels can be found here: http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/script...tfda/index.cfm They are typically 30+ pages long

[Paxman]

Thank you NoRx4me. I can't wait to read the labels of the stuff I have been on, in fact I think it is better that I don't until I feel I am off the drug and symptom free. But I am off to Borders this weekend to look for the book.

[Paxman]

Too Late, already looked at the labels, gonna need that medical dictionary too. No I am pissed because I remember this label. UTTER BS...

There have been spontaneous
reports that abrupt discontinuation may lead to symptoms
such as dizziness, sensory disturbances, agitation or
anxiety, nausea and sweating; these events are generally
self-limiting.

And that is all they said, and ONLY if you read the fine print I was only like 23 when I looked at this stuff initially and had no idea, what this was going to turn in to.

[Pat Shields]

Originally Posted by Paxman

What keeps you away?

I'll never be that fat again, that's what keeps me away. I don't care how stable it made me feel, I don't care how oblivious I was to the crap happening around me. I just will not gain weight like that again. Never. Bye bye paxil.

[rbds22]

Originally Posted by Paxman

I have quit paxil before and have gotten through the worst of the anxiety and depression and came out alive on the other end by the grace of God before. But I was wondering, has anyone on here every looked back after they quit asking themselves if they seem to be a better person on paxil? What keeps you away? I get pulled back in, not because of WD symptoms (though I have been pulled in that way too). I am currently weaning down again for hopefully my final quit and I want to know how to deal with that aspect. I seem to fall in a circle of when I am on it, I want off and some how I miss it when I am off and get back on it. I've always thought I needed something, even if it is just talk therapy, but what stops people from taking the easy road back? Could this still be a sign of withdrawl?

Full body muscle twitches and full body muscle stiffness and other side effects led me to stop taking this poison. I have now learned my body has adverse reactions to ssri's after ten years of usage and there is no way I will be able to reinstate ever again. This medicine was only tested for a time period of a few months in trials. It is not ment to be on long term and thousands of people will attest to this statement after later finding out it has destroyed chunks of there lifes when coming off.

[rangerNY]

Originally Posted by Paxman

I seem to fall in a circle of when I am on it, I want off and some how I miss it when I am off and get back on it.

What exactly do you "miss" about being on an antidepressant when you're not on one? What issues drove you to the meds to begin with? For me, what kept me from going back to the medication was understanding that this is a far better (albeit much more challenging) way to run my life.

[Paxman]

I guess it was my perception that I was more calm and collected. My family and friends always looked up to me as the level headed, motivated smart guy while I was on paxil. I guess I felt that since I wasn't everyone's elses rock anymore that I felt like I had failed them. Originally I started for a mild case of social anxiety related to work. I was the young one wet behind the ears but was very successful. When we had meetings with clients about status of projects I was too intimidated to speak up when some of the elders disagreed with me because at the end I always was more concerned with pleasing everyone and getting them to like me. Flash foward 10 years, and I don't have that initial problem anymore, experience was all I really needed. But when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks ago, I felt it hard to feel emotions. I felt that I should. But this may be are last christmas together and I worry sometimes that when she passes, I wont be in the spot to provide the support that they will need. I almost want to hold off my taper until then, but I was concerned that it wasn't bothering me like it should. I have been advised by my loved ones to wait to see what happens with my grandmother before I stop paxil. But I want to grieve, I owe her that. I want to feel the loss and not be numb to my grandmothers passing. We find out shortly if the cancer has spread in to her lymph and if so, the docs are predicting that the cancer will be very aggressive.

[kathleen2]

Paxman, forgive if you've already said this, but are you off all the benzos?

[Paxman]

As far as the benzos, I am extremely blessed that I don't get addicted like others do. I have taken them as needed from time to time, but refuse to take them every day. They are of no use to me really if I develop a tolerance. I just quit xanax xr , something the docs wanted to try with my last paxil taper in august with maybe one day of increased anxiety and that is it. No other withdrawl thank God. They are sitting here in a drawer. Some of them are even expired and I need to throw them out. I have in the past two weeks taken a total of 2 x .5 mg of ativan (I have a ton left) I find them to be helpful from time to time during the taper. But with the 5htp I am doing, I find that to be way more effective for me. I was on klonipin for a year and didn't know what a benzo was since I trusted my doctor so well. When I last went in there he automatically wrote me a refil script and then I told him, eh, I don't really need it, it doesn't help my RLS and it makes me groggy the next day. I honestly thought it was just some glorified sleeping pill. I stopped and remember nothing eventful even though I had taken it for a whole year at bedtime straight. When I found out it was a benzo and learned what a benzo was, I was annoyed he didn't tell me that it was potentially addictive. I guess like some people can just quit an SSRI, I can just stop a benzo. But, now that I know they are addictive and have the same protracted withdrawl in a lot of cases I try to avoid them when I can to be on the safe side. I was even on ambien for a minute or two there and just said, eh, they don't work, I'll use the unisom tonight and that was it for that one too (even though it is not a benzo it is very closely related.)

[babs]

I'll be honest here and say I often really miss the way I felt on Paxil (at least in the beginning .. towards the end I was basically just sleepy all the time). I have never been the most confident person, but on Paxil I was a lot more confident and relaxed. I slept well, was in good spirits most of the time, and dealt with life's ups and downs a lot better. I did gain weight but had no idea that was connected with Paxil. And, unlike many others, I still had emotions, they just weren't as intense. If there was a safe med with no side effects to give me back that feeling, I'd be first in line. Not because I think meds are the way to go, but because it's just easier than the hard work of therapy, and I'm pretty lazy.

But ... I know better now. All these drugs have side effects, are hard on the body and poop out eventually. They mess with body chemistry and get everything out of whack, and are hell to get off of. I'll never do that to myself again.

[Paxman]

I know the feeling babs...I have been using the natural supplement 5htp that you can pick up next to the vitamins and it is literally helping the paxil withdrawl. I started a log of my progress in the journal section. Since using the 5htp, I have been extremly extraverted in a more natural way. Others on here claim the same thing, but it seems to be taboo. If you ever think about going on the pills again, you should give the 5htp a try first. I'd love to hear more success stories if it is really helping people as a natural alternative. I found that with me, I am that way in 20 mins. No high, just me in a good mood, no unatural feeling so far. There is a ton of literature about it on the web and it gets rave reviews from the social anxiety community. I am keeping a log to see if it works for me. Some people say it took them a day or so before it kicked in. But for me its almost instant. Wonderful little plant they get that from. A lot of people on here seem to swear by it too.

[Pat Shields]

Hey, Paxman - all that you said about the benzos - if you put together all that I have written about them, I have said exactly the same thing! I, too, had a shipload of Ativan to get rid of. Listen to this - I put them in the fire in the trash barrel to burn them, and they didn't burn! At least not in my fire, they didn't. I ended up putting them in a plastic bag and tying it up tight and putting it in the garbage.

My doctor DID tell me of the potential addictiveness and even offered me a program in advance just in case I did become addicted. They just didn't help that much, y'know? I sure didn't want to deal with the grogginess the next day.

Xanax briefly helped with some pain. Valium had no effect at all. I wonder what the difference is between us and those who become addicted? Definitely goes to prove that medicine is NOT a one-size-fits-all science.

[Paxman]

Pat! Thanks! Because of you I had to try to burn one. I went on the back porch and set it on top of a soda can grabbed a lighter and tried. My neighbor looked over and said "Rich! What are you doing!" I said "I'm about to smoke up this ROCK buddy! Get over here!" LOL. So he came over and we tried everything. Lighter fluid the works. All we had left was a charged pebble but nothing. LOL Not any smoke or anything. Maybe the manufacturer does something to them so people won't be idiots and try to smoke them. I don't know because on one of the meds, but I can't remember which one, I was reading in the insert about something they put these things so people don't try to snort them. Some kind of irritant it said. Maybe they put something in there incase people try to smoke them too.

Hey, do you ever drink? I mean not like everyday or alcoholism, but I've been a social drinker all of my life. I get tipsy at least twice a month with my friends and hammered drunk bi-monthly at a party or an outing. But, I don't crave it, have never drank alone or anything like that. Buddy of mine runs a bar, so we help ourselves behind the bar when he is working. It's a hole in the wall place and only us go in.

Dad died from alcoholism when I was young, so I made a promise that his lesson would never be taken in vain, so I will not allow myself to get addicted to alchohol, but the reason I ask is because the two (alcohol and benzo's) are chemically related. I am told they give benzo to people in alcohol recovery. I never felt addiction to either one. Maybe that was a gift from dad, that is, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Oh, and regarding the left over ativan, I think I am going to disolve them and water my plants with it, maybe they will look more relaxed

-Rich

[Pat Shields]

Originally Posted by Paxman

Pat! Thanks! Because of you I had to try to burn one. I went on the back porch and set it on top of a soda can grabbed a lighter and tried.

Great, now we're field-testing the flammability results of benzodiazepines. We're scientists all. I wonder if what you said is true, that maybe they made them deliberately not to burn. That makes sense. Not being a smoker, I never would have thought to try to smoke one.

Hey, do you ever drink?

Not nowadays, maybe 2-3 times a year, but
(1) I belong to a beer-drinking club that has beer-drinking rituals, and
(2) As much alcohol as I drank when I was in my later years of the military, if anyone were to become an alcoholic from simply drinking, it would have been me, but I am unscathed by the disease. Now, you said alcohol and benzos are chemically related, which is something I have not heard. If that is true, it makes sense why benzos have little effect on me, because alcohol has little effect on me. Sure, I've been so drunk I couldn't see straight or stand up, but I've always been in my right mind and always remembered everything that happened and NEVER felt a craving for more. Sure, Ativan made me sleep, but I never craved more; in fact, I wanted the drowsiness to hurry up and go away so that I could get on with whatever I was doing, and just never took the stuff again after a couple of times.

That's just more ammunition for verification of my theory that medicine is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Some people here have been through hell trying to wean off Xanax and the like, and I just thought benzos were "blah."

I like the idea of having peaceful plants, if I ever get more Ativan maybe I will try that. In fact, we could set up an experiment, with a group of control plants and a group of Ativan-fed plants. . . .

[NoRx4me]

I've been a social drinker all of my life. I get tipsy at least twice a month with my friends and hammered drunk bi-monthly at a party or an outing. But, I don't crave it, have never drank alone or anything like that. Buddy of mine runs a bar, so we help ourselves behind the bar when he is working. It's a hole in the wall place and only us go in.

Not every alcoholic drinks alone. There are other signs/indicators. Not saying you are an alcoholic, just saying some people can be very social alcoholics. Some people only feel they need to drink in social situations.

[bookworm410]

Hello All - Since I am visiting everyday and journaling, I decided to read your thread. I loved the insulated feeling of being on paxil. (too long a story; see journal) but got off for one reason: the weight gain. Now I am so fat I can't stand myself. I agree with Babs completely. If I could get on another drug that I could control my eating with; I would in a minute. Almost 3 months off paxil and having a bad month; hopefully will change my mind as I continue fighting being without paxil. However, the anxiety sure is hard right now. Paxil didn't keep it at bay, but it lessoned it a great deal. I was also of course not as engaged in anything. Guess the emotions are flooding in and drowning me right now. Dont' really understand it all.

[NewQuestions]

I got off because I could not tolerate them anymore. My body adapted and then started to reject them. I literally cannot take them anymore. It is not a long term solution. Sooner or later, your body will adapt and they will lose their effectiveness and start to cause problems. I am also convinced that over the long term they will cause cognitive and other problems. They have too.

[pboy]

Originally Posted by Paxman

I know the feeling babs...I have been using the natural supplement 5htp that you can pick up next to the vitamins and it is literally helping the paxil withdrawl. I started a log of my progress in the journal section. Since using the 5htp, I have been extremly extraverted in a more natural way.

I'm surprised by this...I tried 5htp once and felt sleepy, then irritable the next morning. I think it's just my typical bad luck that any supplement won't help me lol.
Although, you're not supposed to take it in WD due to serotonin syndrome, be careful.

[movetojoy]

Originally Posted by Paxman

As far as the benzos, I am extremely blessed that I don't get addicted like others do. I have taken them as needed from time to time, but refuse to take them every day. They are of no use to me really if I develop a tolerance. I just quit xanax xr , something the docs wanted to try with my last paxil taper in august with maybe one day of increased anxiety and that is it. No other withdrawl thank God. They are sitting here in a drawer. Some of them are even expired and I need to throw them out. I have in the past two weeks taken a total of 2 x .5 mg of ativan (I have a ton left) I find them to be helpful from time to time during the taper. But with the 5htp I am doing, I find that to be way more effective for me. I was on klonipin for a year and didn't know what a benzo was since I trusted my doctor so well. When I last went in there he automatically wrote me a refil script and then I told him, eh, I don't really need it, it doesn't help my RLS and it makes me groggy the next day. I honestly thought it was just some glorified sleeping pill. I stopped and remember nothing eventful even though I had taken it for a whole year at bedtime straight. When I found out it was a benzo and learned what a benzo was, I was annoyed he didn't tell me that it was potentially addictive. I guess like some people can just quit an SSRI, I can just stop a benzo. But, now that I know they are addictive and have the same protracted withdrawl in a lot of cases I try to avoid them when I can to be on the safe side. I was even on ambien for a minute or two there and just said, eh, they don't work, I'll use the unisom tonight and that was it for that one too (even though it is not a benzo it is very closely related.)

I was on Klonipin for a while and wow, that stuff was terrible! I knocked me out at night - that stuff was so strong! I have also been taking 5HTP since I have weaned and gotten myself off Paxil and it works wonders! Just like you said - NATURALLY! The way it was intended!

[JessiG]

This has NOTHING to do with this thread other than I LOVE the "If your antidepressant isn't messing you up enough and you are still left standing, another option your doctor may consider is adding Abilify." LOL
I don't laugh much lately... thank you.

[kathleen2]

(Just fyi: this thread's sev. months old)