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Old 01-10-2012, 03:10 PM   #76
chiropteran
 
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Well, third day back at work, and my feet are officially sore and my brain is officially fried, as predicted

Actually I am pretty exhausted, also haven't slept too well the last three nights. Two nights of difficulty getting to sleep and frequent waking, then last night I -thought- I slept okay but woke up with the familiar sore jaws and headache, had obviously been toothgrinding pretty hard, and I'm really tired still.

Headache isn't a migraine, it's the good ol' pressure pounding in the sinuses above my eyebrows, worse when I bend etc. Could just be barometric pressure I spose, but it is has been a fairly typical w/d symptom for me, so I'm guessing that. My last drop was actually 16.6%, so I was kind of expecting a few more or longer-lasting issues this time around. Once I'm at 20mg, I'll try and get hold of some new scales (my old ones broke, and they're like hen's teeth round here it seems) or at least start the shaving-to-1/8ths again. Right now I'm at a point where I just want to get to that 20mg milestone, and soon. Whether that means actually trying a 20% drop at the next 6 week mark I'm not sure yet, will see how I stabilise over the next couple of weeks.

Work is frustrating, particularly as it's only a few days into the year. It looks like yet another year where I'm on tenterhooks, not quite knowing exactly what is expected of me, or knowing that the expectations are far from realistic.

Some days I wish I could just go back to something predictable, even if manic, like my barista days! If money would allow it, I'd probably be doing just that. But these are pie in the sky, unfortunately we need the income!
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:30 PM   #77
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

I know you want to get to 20, I don't blame you but I really believe that slow and steady makes you stronger and stronger with each drop! *hugs*

With that being said I know everyone is different, I just don't want to read about you suffering. i think you have gone through more than your share!
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:20 PM   #78
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

You're right, as always Kay!

I decided last night I was being silly and my next drops will be 10%-ers! I can handle the 1/8ths pill shaving for a few, I've done it before.

Felt pretty horrible after getting home from work yesterday, exhausted, achey and had some horrible GI issues I haven't had for a while. And then still didn't sleep too well again last night. I think this is my body's way of reminding me that 16.6% is too much! 12 seems to be about my limit, and I know it, too!

So I'll wait out the 6 weeks as usual, then go back to being sensible and next drop will be to 22.5.

*hugs back for Kay, and everyone!*
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-13-2012, 08:07 PM   #79
Kay2020
 
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

I know what you mean, I had some issues and looked at the date and withdrawal is right on time! Not bad though, I am grateful for that.

I am no doctor but I just think that the more even and steady the taper the more even and steady the healing? I could be wrong but it just "feels" that way to me.

I also wonder if how we leave the drug might dictate to us on how we will feel when we are off (for the next few months maybe)

I wish a 10 pecenter who has done a successful taper would report back after say 3 or 6 months!

I hope you feel better sooner with each taper!
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Old 01-16-2012, 12:29 PM   #80
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Thanks Kay - you too - it sounds like you're doing really well

I'm pretty much convinced now that this was just too big a drop, as it's been the worst time I've had since way back. I feel kind of dumb for knowing better and doing it anyway, but it's a good reminder for me to follow my own damn advice!

I think I'm in the thick of a bit of 'Paxil flu' at the moment - feel gummed up, achey, knackered, dizzy, nauseous and the horrible GI stuff persists. Not fun with work, but hey, at least I'm sleeping a little bit better despite all of this. Now nodding off within a couple of hours of going to bed, still waking several times a night but didn't feel like I needed a forklift to get me out of bed this morning, for the first time in a couple of weeks.
So, I can get through the rest, and the giddy/nausea is a bit better than it was at the end of last week. Moodwise I also feel a lot better, had a bit of a dip for a while there but now bouncing back to my more 'normal' self, which helps with the positive outlook stuff.

Next drop will be 10% to 22.5mg, scheduled for the 12th of Feb
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:46 PM   #81
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Morning Ppers!

More than halfway to the next drop now, 25 days on 25mg - seemed a fortuitous day to post really!

A couple of days ago the worst of the 'Paxil flu' feelings I mentioned in the last post lifted. Physically I'm still not feeling 100%, probably about 80%; still a few restless sleep/wake issues, although getting to sleep has become less of a problem recently. I guess I now feel more like a I have cold than the actual flu GI issues have stopped, achiness and dizzyness have largely stopped, still feel a bit 'gummy' in the head, and a little bit tired, but nothing like it was.

Mentally? My fiancee has been going through some pretty horrible stress-making stuff over the last wee while (I won't detail what here, as police and lawyers are involved, suffice it to say it is NOT that she has done anything wrong, but it's certainly been very hard on her, and therefore me). So it's been more difficult to ascertain whether any mood dips and low days are related to that or the taper - my money is on the former. However, I'm starting to feel the internal 'sense of greater wellbeing' that I often get more than halfway between drops. It's hard to describe, it's an internal equilibrium and calmness. When it starts to happen, I think to myself "good old brain has got used to this dose now - you just keep on doing that, and you and I will get along juuuuust fine through this."

I'm really not enjoying work much at the moment, finding concentrating and the more irrational demands it makes on me quite difficult, but trooping through it as best I can.

I've been out in the garden a bit lately in the weekends and even after work. It feels good to have the motivation, and it's therapeutic in many ways for me; for the sunshine, the excercise, and the general sense of achievement (not to mention the satisfaction of my slightly OCD nature pulling those weeds and tidying stuff up). I put on a big assortment of classical music, open the windows and let it drift out into the garden while I potter. I DO feel a bit like an old man before my time, but it gives me pleasure and immerses me in a particular kind of calm, so I'm going with it
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'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-26-2012, 03:51 PM   #82
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Stressy stuff with fiancee has got worse, she spent the last couple of evenings very down on herself and absolutely inconsolable. I'm trying really hard to be a rock, but it's proving a bit tougher than usual because what's happening is affecting me too.
Given that, I probably shouldn't be surprised I have my first migraine in a while really. Full-on aura/corona and blind spots, of course it had to happen at work when I've already had way too much time off. Hid in the loo til I could see again, now just feel... battered.
Holding out for something good coming soon. Please?
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-26-2012, 09:25 PM   #83
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hi Chiro, just thought I'd pop in and say hi and check out your thread, seeing as you have writen in mine.

I have my bat-caveland head back, so not real with it, but read enough to see you are having a trying time emotinally and sorry to hear that.

I have my own thoughts that added stresses make the w/d worse, do you find that also?

I could not work and cope with this as well, so don't know how you do that and if you are coping with it, then you are making good progress I should think.

I like gardening also, and spent 1 hour toay outside (last time made it to 30mins so this was a mile-stone) and no head throbbing or dizzy speels! As you said, it is such good therapy.

This is not easy, but I am with you, so keep on keeping on!

PS JUst be there for your girl. I like it when my hubby doesn't try and be nice, or try and talk to me. Just knowing he is "around" is good enough for me and reassuring. JUst let her know you are there when she needs you.
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2008-2010 alt doses/skipping doses/switching med/CT
2011-10mg: 10% drops from 10mg to about 7.7
over 6 weeks-crashed after 6 mos
June 2011 - 8 - 5%
July 2011 - 9
July-Oct 8/9
Oct 2011 - 8.6 cap
Nov 2011 - 8.1 cap
Dec 2011 - 8.1 tab
Dec 14 - 7.7
Jan 11 - 7.3
May 2012 - 7.0
Jun 6.6
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Oct 6.2
Dec 6.0
Jan 5.7 5% too fast
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Old 01-31-2012, 03:52 PM   #84
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hey there GrandmaD - thanks for stopping by and commenting, appreciate that Sorry to hear you're back in the cave - definitely keep popping out for 'gardening leave' therapy with me! Great advice re my fiancee too, that's exactly what I've been trying to do - she knows I am there for her, 100%, and always available for hugs no matter what I'm doing

Speaking of gardening, last weekend I 'discovered' a couple of struggling rosebushes under all the weeds out the front. Ours is a rental property, the landlords are supposed to maintain the gardens but haven't been, so I'm more than happy to do it now it's summer. It's been really nice watching them put out tiny new fresh leaves when they were just dead-looking sticks a week ago, having been stifled in the dark without sunlight or rain or nutrients. Watching them is a good reminder of how I feel coming out of the Paxil-darkness, rediscovering the tiniest bits of myself and growing new ways to cope, turning my face to the sun. That I have the power to make this change, and I am doing everything I can to make that happen.

Yes, the stress from the horrible situation that is constantly 'in the background' at the moment definitely makes all the little symptoms of withdrawal feel much bigger. It's specially difficult right now because the police keep fobbing us off for the meeting with us and our lawyer, they've now done this three times in two months, so we're constantly up in the air with this going on and on and on when we both really need it to be over one way or another.

For that matter, this kind of stress makes even those little normal day-to-day irritations feel bigger, not just the things related to withdrawal. I'm trying to be mindful of that and to remind my fiancee too, that every little thing is not the end of the world, like it feels at the moment, it's just that we both have a higher level of 'background stress' so are less able to cope.

I'm also telling myself that this should mean the -little pleasures- are also bigger and more meaningful right now. I'm a big believer in this anyway, but I'm making an extra special effort to celebrate the little victories; my walks to work, getting through each workday, each gardening session. Savour every coffee (my one real vice). Bask every sunny day. Enjoy that I can paddle in the sea.

Couple of nights of bad sleep aren't helping, but I think it's because we've had ferocious northerly winds shaking the house, and they're the 'positive ion' charged winds that make everyone feel a bit off, apparently. Very much looking forward to the weekend and some rest, but it's only Wednsday lunchtime!

With 1 month at this dose: Been having some more GI issues, which is tedious, just wish they'd go away now please. No more headaches, but a bit of squeezy head pressure and some very blocked feeling ears with a bit of tinnitus, specially 2 days ago.
The mastoid lumps and bumps that I seem to get whenever I'm a bit run down are also quite bad this time around.

Long weekend coming up with next Monday off for Waitangi day (national holiday here), and then a very short week because I'm taking the Friday off as well to fly up to Auckland with my fiancee. We're going to a Roxette concert (her favourite band ever, definitely not mine but these things we do ) and I've treated us to a very fancy hotel with a spa bath for the couple of nights we're there. We sure as heck deserve it!
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 01-31-2012, 05:39 PM   #85
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

We also had a rental with roses that were crazy so I pruned them and they were very beautiufl. They had pink ones, calico coloured ones, dark red and bright yellow and I couldn't decided which ones I liked best. They were all so lovely. The landlord said I could do whatever I liked with the garden, so I pruned EVERYTHING and quite enjoyed it.

Glad you enjoy your garden also, and yes, it is good therapy, so good. I am giving myself at least half an hour and an hour if I'm doing okay and so far so good. I also try and vary what I do, and that helps too, because I have discovered bending over makes me worse.

Your romantic time away sounds great! We just recently went to a town only an hour away to stay overnight in a motel (no spa, but a pool!) for hubby's 60th and it was just so great to get away. I didn't sleep well, but that is nothing unusual, but I was actually really GOOD for the 2 days I went shopping for the first time in years and enjoyed it! I really hope your time away is the same for you and that you will be SO GOOD, so much better than normally. It also makes coming home a pleasure and you appreciate being home again, more - so, yes, good idea!

I know the police and courts are always dragging things out, unfortunately. I am just beginning now to understand that "other stress factors" can make one worse. I have got myself a plan for this year and hope that will help me avoid some of them.

Like you, I am beginning to enjoy the little pleasures!!
1. A good night sleep
2. A good meal
3. Peace and quiet
4. My hubby, home and garden
5. If I get housework done and a walk on top of all that, I'm doing great!
6. Trustworthy, supportive friends
YEP< i AM RICH!
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1995-2001 20
2008-2010 alt doses/skipping doses/switching med/CT
2011-10mg: 10% drops from 10mg to about 7.7
over 6 weeks-crashed after 6 mos
June 2011 - 8 - 5%
July 2011 - 9
July-Oct 8/9
Oct 2011 - 8.6 cap
Nov 2011 - 8.1 cap
Dec 2011 - 8.1 tab
Dec 14 - 7.7
Jan 11 - 7.3
May 2012 - 7.0
Jun 6.6
Aug 6.4 2.5%
Oct 6.2
Dec 6.0
Jan 5.7 5% too fast
Jun 5.5 2.5%
Aug 5.3
Oct 5.1
Jan 2014 4.9
Feb 4.8
Mar 4.7
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:40 PM   #86
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Thanks Grandma, always love reading your comments - sounds like we have pretty much the same kind of list of little pleasure and successes

Yesterday and today weren't so crash hot, I feel like the dreaded Paxil flu has returned with a vengeance. Last night after I got home from work I was achey all over, shivery, a bit nauseous, and just felt really spacey and exhausted in general. I'm pretty sure it's Paxil flu rather than regular flu, because I have no snot (not to put too fine a point on it!), and no sore throat, which pretty much always hits me first with actual viral illnesses.

Today I was still shivery (unusual for me, I pretty much never really feel the cold unless I'm sick, I'm one of those 'never wear a jacket even in winter' people), but the other symptoms have abated a little. GI stuff is back (gaah) - or actually never really went away I guess.

It's quite unusual for me to have these sorts of symptoms this far into a taper (I should be in my 'good patch' right about now), but again I'm reminding myself that this is probably my body's way of telling me the last drop was just too big, and to never do that again, you stupid boy.

I'm just proud of myself for making it to work (even if I was late) and getting through what proved to be a very busy day.
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 02-01-2012, 08:04 PM   #87
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

I am sorry to read this, I hope the paxil flu passes quickly!
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Old 02-06-2012, 12:29 AM   #88
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hey Chiropteran, It's ages since I was on here. I'm sorry to see you are having some hard times but glad that you are able to get out and spend some time in the garden. I'm looking forward to spring planting.

How are the cats? A couple of days ago I was working outside and was absent-mindedly stroking what I thought was our black cat. When I looked down, there it was a grey kitten! Don't know where she came from but she has made herself at home. So strange, she actually sleeps in the dog house with the dog! And the dog (siberian husky) pays her no mind. So now we have six cats.

Hope your weekend away was refreshing. Sure hope you start to feel better soon.

Hugs to you both,

Polly
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June 4, started liquid paxil 9.5mg
June 22 8.8
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September 7.5
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Nov.18, 6.0mg
Dec. 14, 5.6 mg
Jan. 5.2 mg
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Old 02-20-2012, 08:36 PM   #89
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

I was thinking about you today, I hope all is well with you!
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:24 PM   #90
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hey PPers

Thanks so much for your good thoughts, Polly and Kay - haven't been around much as things have been pretty busy, and just recently I've been sick with some sort of gastricky thing. There's been a lot more stress under the bridge over the past few weeks, but I decided to taper on Wednesday anyway as it's been 6 weeks. Physically I was starting to do a lot better, so I had a little bit of a window at least. Shaving pills currently, and now down to 22.5mgs or 'a pill and a sliver', pretty much. Will be replacing my scales after the next drop to 20mgs. If everything is feeling okay I may try and drop in 4 weeks instead of 6, but will just see how I feel on the 22nd of March.
First couple of days of taper it's been difficult to tell what's going on cos I've had some kind of bug, so it could be that that's making me tired, headachey and a bit low. I'll see how I do over the next few days.
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 02-23-2012, 10:44 PM   #91
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

You know, I am on my 4th day but am also sick with something. You have come along way !!!! Nothing wrong for trying 4 weeks! This thing we call withdrawal is a strange beast!

Here in Chicago we have really mild weather so everyone is coming down with something!
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Old 02-23-2012, 11:17 PM   #92
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Since you were so nice and visited my journal, I thought I would visit yours!
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Old 02-26-2012, 12:48 PM   #93
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Funny Kay, it's the same here - there's some kind of bug ripping through work (not great cos it's a hospital :O)
Songbird, having you pop into my journal feels a bit like a celebrity popping over for tea - awesome! I've followed your journal and posts over the years, and you've been a real source of inspiration to me. So always welcome, I'll put the kettle on

Day 5 since the last drop and I'm doing fine! Whatever bug I had has mostly gone (and this time I DO think it was a bug rather than paxil flu, the symptoms and timing were wrong for that), and I'm actually not feeling too many of the familiar w/d effects at all.
The only things of note are dizziness and some mild insomnia for a couple of nights (the difficulty-dropping-off flavour).
Also, on Saturday night (2 nights ago) I couldn't stop eating. I think I had 8 pieces of toast in the end! I suppose this may have been 'catching up' from a few days of very little food and being very er... empty with that bug, but still.
I am a toast pig.
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'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:17 AM   #94
Songbird
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Now you've made me want toast too...
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Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax 20mg
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg > Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg 4 Jul 4.8mg 29 Aug 4.7mg 8 Oct 4.6mg 24 Nov 4.5mg 15 Dec 4.4mg
2014 18 Jan 4.3mg 31 Mar 4.2mg 12 May 4.1mg 7 Jun 4.0mg 26 Jul 3.9mg 5 Sep 3.8mg 4 Oct 3.7mg
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Old 02-28-2012, 03:33 PM   #95
chiropteran
 
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Toast is pretty awesome - specially for birds

So, been 7 days at the new dose now. Insomnia is MUCH less of an issue this time around. Some lack of concentration but again not nearly as bad as last time. GI issues persist, sick of them! Really hope that paxil-free future puts paid to that business (scuse the pun!) once and for all.

I've had a couple of 'mild blues' patches, with that indefinable feeling of being kind of sad and not knowing why. Nothing serious, and it seems to pass quickly.

No akasthisia or DP this time around, huzzah.

More persistent is the 'wow' feeling I get whenever I realise how close I am to 20mgs. One little pill, when I spent so long taking 3 and 4.
I've spent 25 years believing I would not cope without these drugs, and certainly not at least the equivalent of twice as much as this dose.

I like that 'wow' feeling
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 02-28-2012, 04:11 PM   #96
GrandmaD
 
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Sounds like a good drop, this one! Go for it!
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1995-2001 20
2008-2010 alt doses/skipping doses/switching med/CT
2011-10mg: 10% drops from 10mg to about 7.7
over 6 weeks-crashed after 6 mos
June 2011 - 8 - 5%
July 2011 - 9
July-Oct 8/9
Oct 2011 - 8.6 cap
Nov 2011 - 8.1 cap
Dec 2011 - 8.1 tab
Dec 14 - 7.7
Jan 11 - 7.3
May 2012 - 7.0
Jun 6.6
Aug 6.4 2.5%
Oct 6.2
Dec 6.0
Jan 5.7 5% too fast
Jun 5.5 2.5%
Aug 5.3
Oct 5.1
Jan 2014 4.9
Feb 4.8
Mar 4.7
Apr 4.6 too fast
Jun 4.7
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Old 03-06-2012, 01:22 PM   #97
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Thanks GrandmaD! Sorry to hear you're not having such a great time of things, but proud of you for hanging on in there. Every tiny step IS a step forwards, even when it feels like the world is whooshing past your ears backwards - I have to remind myself this fairly often.

Today's the 2 week mark for me at 22.5mgs - so if I decide to do the next drop at 4 weeks I'm halfway there already.
It's felt like it's gone quickly, mostly because any effects have been pretty minor. I'm tired, but I'm sleeping relatively okay. Some head pressure and pain but nothing unbearable. No zaps, no akasthisia. A little 'blueness'.
By far the worst effect this time around, once again the nausea and constant diahorrea. I live in hope that one distant sunny day post-paxil this particular problem will be a bad memory, I really do...
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 03-06-2012, 03:10 PM   #98
RobInSydney
 
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Posts: 109
Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

As someone who is still stabilising after updosing, I am following your journey with interest.. I assume you thinking setting clearer as you go???
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Chronic pain (cervical headache). 30 years (fairly resolved, 2010)
Medicated with:
1996-99:Paxil (rapid reduction)
1999-2001: Luvox (CT)
2002-2012: Effexor 300mg
Dec 2011: 25% drop in two weeks (reinstated)
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Old 03-07-2012, 12:51 PM   #99
chiropteran
 
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Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hey Rob, nice to hear from you - hope you're getting there with the stabilising. You can do this, it just takes patience and time.

Re the clearer thinking, yes, very much so.
I still have periods of 'dullness' (I've described that as 'trying to think through layers of cotton wool' before), but they're less the status quo and more the exception as time goes on and the dose gets lower.
More than that, I've regained some of my enthusiasm for various ordinary things - along with that little bit more energy to do them, and that's mostly what's keeping me going. I feel brighter, more real, and more alive in general.

I didn't realise until I started tapering just how 'meh' I had come to feel about doing well, pretty much everything, even those things that used to give me pleasure. When I was on 80mgs, pretty much all I really wanted to do was sleep.

Now I'm still tired a lot of the time, more than I should be, but it IS steadily improving. It's more difficult to quantify, but I think my short term memory (which again I didn't realise had become absolutely -appalling- on those high doses) is starting to work a little bit better again too recently.

The gains are subtle and gradual, and sometimes hard to notice until they're already happening, which is why I have a policy of trying to recognise and celebrate even the smallest stuff. It keeps me going.
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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Old 03-07-2012, 04:29 PM   #100
RobInSydney
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 109
Re: Bats out of the paroxetine belfry

Hey Chiropteran;
Your steady progress with real improvements...and if I remember earlier posts, with realistic reporting of early challenges, gives me some perspective and a sense of a road map.
Also, your very long and multiple drug history, I assume puts you on a par with the challenges of long term Effexor use at high dosage. (BTW is 80 mgs Paroxitine at the high end).
Since Monday, my steady improvements during reinstatement (with ups and downs); seems to have moved into a very down cycle; and of course, am hoping it is a stage... and rotten sleep and depression/anxiety are back big time as is negative thinking.
Three possible contributors:
a) a normal instability wave with updosing (now 12 weeks)
b) increased short term pain following neck procedure two weeks ago (which has spikes)
c) I worked 14 hours on Sat/ Sunday morning, at Syd Mardi Gras till 6pm.. Was feeling 80% OK, but got to bed at 6am and was too wired to sleep more than 2 hrs… (I don’t drink or use illegal drugs; and being in that high octane environment was like being in a poker machine for many hours)..and was physically shattered Sunday/Monday.
Anyway, I feel very dispirited and fearful this week…In the middle of the night, when not sleeping, I fantasise that I would like to go to a hospital…but a bit of rational thinking dispells that...and not to mention, exposes me to the risks of additional drugs and tinkering..as if I don’t have enough problems… but glad it is just one drug… even if it’s a mean one…
In the last two years, long term pain issues have come under control, and there seemed no reason to keep taking the drug. Even with Effexor, if I had high levels of pain, I had depression… Take away most of the pain… and no depression; almost instantly...
And while I was very aware I fully addicted, its action was stable and apart from noticeably poor short memory and a poor sexual response (oh and high blood pressure).. it seemed I could go on for years without challenging it.
So in November, after I ignorantly dropped 25% in two weeks and tried to establish the “Prozac crossover”, I crashed very dramatically…(and in Jan found PP)
And it has taken as long as I expected to begin to “come better”… but am very nervous I have now upset the previous equalibrium. And also if I set out on a taper too soon, I will be exposing myself to an unstable process…
The time frame you are taking now seems entirely rational to me..
I notice Mapleleafgirl.. stayed for quite some time on her reinstated level before embarking on a very slow and steady taper.. with, what appears to be very easy to handle WD symptoms… Do you think it is important to not just stabilise… but reinforce the sense of equalibrium..which includes re establishing the career and relationahip handicaps of the last couple of months
So while I am looking at feeling better, I aware there is no real healing until I start permanently removing some of this drug from my system… and that still seems a long way off.
__________________
Chronic pain (cervical headache). 30 years (fairly resolved, 2010)
Medicated with:
1996-99:Paxil (rapid reduction)
1999-2001: Luvox (CT)
2002-2012: Effexor 300mg
Dec 2011: 25% drop in two weeks (reinstated)
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