given in and doing a journal

[julieannboo]

great quote from katesmom circa 2009:

The most insidious thing about Paxil is that most people don't feel totally different after they take it. Unless you've been completely crippled with anxiety or depression, the change is very slow and subtle. One day you do realize that you feel good. You're not worried about anything anymore. You're not getting uptight about things that bug you, and you're not having road rage. Your appetite picks up and you start eating more, but that's just because you were too depressed or anxious to eat before, right? Then you start packing on the pounds, but you don't care that much, because you're happy. Well, maybe not joyous, but who is? You're placidly satisfied. And that is a desirous change from your pre-Paxil existence.

After a while, you start to think, maybe it's not healthy to have gained this 20-40 pounds, so you decide to start working out and watch what you eat. Only you can't muster the energy to work out. In fact, you can barely muster the energy to do what you need to do to get through the day. And you want to eat right, but you never feel full, and so you always feel deprived.

And then one day you realize that it's great to not have road rage, but it really sucks to not be able to cry when your child is born or to feel grief when a loved one dies. To not be thrilled when your favorite team wins the championship (but then again, you haven't had the attention span to follow a single game all season). You no longer belly-laugh at your favorite comedian. You have emotionally flat-lined.

Paxil is a trickster. At first, it seems like it's nothing. Then is seems great. The negatives come on so slowly that you might not even see them until someone else points them out to you. I didn't.

[julieannboo]

I dont want to talk too soon but the past few weeks the health anxiety seems to have calmed down alot. Maybe that due to be decreasing the paxil?
But i have started sleeping again at the weekends during the day again. I wasnt needing naps up until about a month ago now i am sleeping again during the day.
Well people say that withdrawal isnt a straight forward experience!!

[Brassmonkey]

That is so good to hear, I won't jinx it by saying more.

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

[julieannboo]

great pic posted:

Originally Posted by Bilo76

[julieannboo]

i have experienced this with certain people too:

Originally Posted by aberdeen

I wouldn't bother, there doesn't seem to be much impressive evidence for what we are suffering. It's like banging your head on the wall trying to convince Dr's of this phenomenon we experience here. It's wayyyy too easy to dismiss us as mentally ill people who just can't get off meds. Maybe one day they or one of their loved ones will go through this and they'll understand better. Until then, I just stay away from the Dr's to be honest. I worry so much less... now that I've stopped hearing the professional's arguements. Their arguements are so persuasive I almost doubt myself, and I'm done with doubting myself It makes me feels worse. Even if they were right it still doesn't help me any, though I totally understand what you're saying.

[julieannboo]

This Friday i drop to 7.6mg - doing just over the 10% taper, every 3 weeks now.

these three weeks always come round very quick.

i still get nervous when i drop - even though the drops i am making are smaller now.

[Brassmonkey]

Got my fingers crossed for ya, hope it goes well.

[julieannboo]

Thanks Tom. Hope that you are well x

[aberdeen]

Originally Posted by julieannboo

great quote from katesmom circa 2009:

The most insidious thing about Paxil is that most people don't feel totally different after they take it. Unless you've been completely crippled with anxiety or depression, the change is very slow and subtle. One day you do realize that you feel good. You're not worried about anything anymore. You're not getting uptight about things that bug you, and you're not having road rage. Your appetite picks up and you start eating more, but that's just because you were too depressed or anxious to eat before, right? Then you start packing on the pounds, but you don't care that much, because you're happy. Well, maybe not joyous, but who is? You're placidly satisfied. And that is a desirous change from your pre-Paxil existence.

After a while, you start to think, maybe it's not healthy to have gained this 20-40 pounds, so you decide to start working out and watch what you eat. Only you can't muster the energy to work out. In fact, you can barely muster the energy to do what you need to do to get through the day. And you want to eat right, but you never feel full, and so you always feel deprived.

And then one day you realize that it's great to not have road rage, but it really sucks to not be able to cry when your child is born or to feel grief when a loved one dies. To not be thrilled when your favorite team wins the championship (but then again, you haven't had the attention span to follow a single game all season). You no longer belly-laugh at your favorite comedian. You have emotionally flat-lined.

Paxil is a trickster. At first, it seems like it's nothing. Then is seems great. The negatives come on so slowly that you might not even see them until someone else points them out to you. I didn't.

This is so awesomely put. I loved it. Scary though...I feel sad for all the people who don't really see it happen, or they do, but don't believe they can stop taking the meds.

[julieannboo]

It is heartbreaking isnt it aberdeen.

[Lovesthebeach]

I see you are set to make another drop.....good luck and I pray you have minimal to no problems. You are doing fantastic!

[julieannboo]

thanks lovesthebeach - hope that you are well xx

[Lovesthebeach]

Originally Posted by julieannboo

thanks lovesthebeach - hope that you are well xx

Doing better every day!

[julieannboo]

feel very sad today. i was off yesterday from work as i didnt too great - that probably why.

today i dropped to 7.6mg - just an .8mg drop.

it weird when i started on this tapering journey last july from 20mg - my goal and obsession was to get to 10mg -half way. when i got there i was so pleased.
the next milestone was to get to single digits - so the 9.2mg was also a big thing.

now i seem a bit calmer with the drops i am making - which is better as even though this tapering has taken over my life - which it shouldnt, i know- i just make the drops now and thats that.

saying that the next milestone will be getting to 5mg - that will blow me away.

hope that makes some sense!

[aberdeen]

It does! My goal is 15mg, because I cross tapered from another SSRI and at 15mg I dropped the other SSRI and stayed at 15mg, still thinking it would help the anxiety, I was told to move it up to 20mg so I did, and began to have anhedonia and gain weight. I want to get back down to 15mg, and then that first drop will be the lowest my meds have been in 7 years, and maybe the anhedonia will begin to lift as I get below 15mg. All the best!

[julieannboo]

Awww - you are very close aberdeen! x

[jcsneddon]

wow you are doing great. i really could not do what you are doing i know that. but thats fine, we are all different. its not a race ha ha! hope it continues to go well x

[julieannboo]

Jo. good to hear from you. To be honest the drops that i am making now are very tiny so there arent really any big symptoms. It seems that alot of my health anxiety has calmed down. this was making me miserable. For me this was the main problem for me.
Take it easy xx

[Vickyrn]

you are very inspiring! I starting only taking 10 mg Paxil in October. thought that since it was such a low dose that I could just stop it...that didnt go too well. now I am going through my second attempt at weaning. I have pill form and try to cut them. I have had electrical zaps, fatigue and nausua and vomiting(which seems to happen the day after I feel its okay to not take even just 2.5 mg) good luck and thanks for the inspiration!

[julieannboo]

Thank you and welcome to paxil progress. Always take paxil around the same time everyday and never miss a dose.
Stick around. it is a great site xx

[julieannboo]

i was thinking that i might step away from paxilprogress for a while.

reading some stories where people go back on paxil after tapering - usually they have tapered too fast but anyway it is scaring/depressing me - as once i have done this slow wean i dont want to ever touch the stuff or any other mind chemical changing drugs ever again.

[aberdeen]

Originally Posted by julieannboo

i was thinking that i might step away from paxilprogress for a while.

reading some stories where people go back on paxil after tapering - usually they have tapered too fast but anyway it is scaring/depressing me - as once i have done this slow wean i dont want to ever touch the stuff or any other mind chemical changing drugs ever again.

I can totally relate. Those stories discourage me too, and I'm only starting my journey. I think that many many people stop and stay off for good though, even ones like us who suffer horrible symptoms if we quit too fast.
The ones who recover and move on probably don't post all the time anymore, and some don't want to come back at all I imgaine. I think you'll be fine!

[Lovesthebeach]

That is understandable; you have to do what is best for you. I agree with Aberdeen in that I think there are quite a few that feel better and move on not coming back out here. Starting a new chapter in their lifes. But there are quite a few others like Ranger who do still stop in. Whatever you decide to do, I will be thinking about you and wishing you luck : )

[julieannboo]

aww - thank you xxxx

[julieannboo]

bored and not interested in work, family, friends and even my poor boyfriend.

my diet is disgusting at the moment. i reckon it is mainly that.