Need some encouragement and advise

[Backtopaxil]

If you are are not doing well at all, then maybe you need to updose till you are stable again.

You are dropping less than 10% so not sure what to tell you but wish you lots of healing. And yes take a day off from work, maybe you need to rest.

[Pino]

When i posted this thread i was feeling horrible, I really tought i was losing it. Akethesia, burning skin, terrible tension, anxiety and racing thoughts. During my taper i didnt encounter symptoms this intense which lasted for nearly 2 weeks. It reminded me at my CT and fast taper attempts. I was stunned that despite my slow wean symptoms could become this intense.

Now for the record and future readers i want to report that i'm doing a lot better now and actually feel like i reached a new state in wd where i feel again closer to myself and my feelings. Its almost like my brain had some catch up to do and decided to do it all at once. I feel a calmness now from time to time which i havent felt in a long time. What helped me through was the advise given in this thread and me trying to practice the Caire Weekes method. When the days went on i noticed that i was able more and more to see it just as wd symptoms and though extremely uncomfortable i just stopped adding fear to it. This enabled me to go through the days and time made the symptoms lessen more and more.

Actually i'm little pleased with myself right now which is'nt a bad thing i guess. At least this experience left me more confident for my future taper in the end.

I want to thank you guys for replying when i needed it.

[lmac]

Pino. So glad you're doing better. You're very well detailed at describing how you've been feeling. I just want to let you know that although I'm almost 8 months post ADs, I felt the EXACT same symptoms of you. Your detail sounded like you were describing ME!! Its interesting how ALL symptoms are the same, whether during tapering, during reinstating and even when having protracted withdrawal like me. EXACTLY the same. Almost like the brain becomes confused at different times and just shuts down for hours or days or weeks, sometimes months (in my case). My biggest signal that its wd is when I get that "permanent" feeling and just can't see my life any other way but total despair. Although its the hardest part to get through as it seems like time has stopped and there's no cure or help to ease the pain, this is the part that feels so chemically induced (along with that panic/anxiety that burns through your body). I too would get that split second of feeling good upon wakening and then remembering I'm in wd and instantaneously getting the burning anxiety. I felt so incredibly hypervigilant for months actually, I would go into fight/flight/freeze mode with a tap on the shoulder or a drop of a pin!
I think its important that we focus on the similarities of the symtoms so we can reassure ourselves its wd, and not when these could come about. I too kept asking myself, could it really be this? For my case, 5 months out from any meds? Shouldn't my brain be back to normal by now? I experienced all this during tapering too but not in a severe way, I just thought I was a miserable and aggitated person. For me it hit super hard 5 mnths post. But I also tapered quickly, bigger drops and pretty much ct'd after 12.5mg of Zoloft. Its strange how we are all impacted the exact same way, just at such different times!!
Good luck with the rest of your taper. Nice and slow is the safest way to go so you're on a great path!

[Pino]

Hi lmac, Thanks for sharing your experience. Its strange how its different each time when stopping. For me the first time was ct from 20mg. I was fine for about 3 weeks and then in à day from good to absolute hell on earth. I made it 2 more months before i reinstated. Within 1 week i was good again. The second time i tapered but way too fast. From 15mg to 0 in 3 months. During the taper i was fine with minimal wd symtoms. On THE second day completely off wham intense wd again. I made it 1 month and then decided to reinstate again. But... My body didnt agreed anymore with the paxil. I experienced the mist horrible Akathisia fillet 2 months of my life. After 2 months on 20mg things settled down but i was left incredably numbed and disconnected from my feelings to an extent i didnt have before. Then i found PP and started to taper THE right way. Gradually the bad State of mind began to lift. I suspect that THE bad reinstatement is à big factor in my current sensitivity for dose changes despite THE fact paxil isnt giving me any positive benefits anymore for à long time.

I wish you Good luck lmac with regards to your wd journey. You must have been a strong person for enduring these symptoms for that long.

[Backtopaxil]

I read and I read tons of stories. My conclusion is that once you stop using Paxil whether CT or slow tapering or *holiday*, this drug does not work the same at all. A one time wonder.

[lmac]

Originally Posted by Pino

Hi lmac, Thanks for sharing your experience. Its strange how its different each time when stopping. For me the first time was ct from 20mg. I was fine for about 3 weeks and then in à day from good to absolute hell on earth. I made it 2 more months before i reinstated. Within 1 week i was good again. The second time i tapered but way too fast. From 15mg to 0 in 3 months. During the taper i was fine with minimal wd symtoms. On THE second day completely off wham intense wd again. I made it 1 month and then decided to reinstate again. But... My body didnt agreed anymore with the paxil. I experienced the mist horrible Akathisia fillet 2 months of my life. After 2 months on 20mg things settled down but i was left incredably numbed and disconnected from my feelings to an extent i didnt have before. Then i found PP and started to taper THE right way. Gradually the bad State of mind began to lift. I suspect that THE bad reinstatement is à big factor in my current sensitivity for dose changes despite THE fact paxil isnt giving me any positive benefits anymore for à long time.

I wish you Good luck lmac with regards to your wd journey. You must have been a strong person for enduring these symptoms for that long.

Thanks Pino - I'm no stronger than anyone here who is enduring this kind of pain. Some days I think I can do it, others I feel like my destiny is to be dead because what can possibly make someone feel this terrible. I use mantra, sometimes fetal position is my only way to get through! I just WANT so bad to see the other side. The side that I've (we all ) been robbed of for so long. I want my own faults that I've created and can conquer on my own.

[scrambledeggs]

Pino, hope today is a great day. Hope I'm not being to forward but I saw in a couple places you apologized for asking a question or writing some thoughts. I believe you have every right to publish or write anything you want regarding your struggles. I'm new to the forums but I hope that we are all here to do heal, that is to share our experiences and struggles without fear of judgement.

[Pino]

Hi scrambledeggs,

Thank you for you kind words, i'm definetly doing better than 10 days ago but i'm tired as h*ll now and have some lingering tension/axiety issues which on it own can make you feeling not like a million bucks.

Does anyone experienced the same after a particular bad patch either while weaning or in wd post wean that they felt incredible tired? especially in the morning.

[scrambledeggs]

Hi Pino, I've been down for a couple of days myself. Coming out of it slowly though. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train. It's freedom from this nightmare we are all experiencing at times. Hang in there. It can only get better as we leave the old coping strategies and develop and use new strategies. I find talking with my closest friends, whom I trust, help me through the rough spots. If I cannot find someone to speak with this site and the forums always brings me hope.

[Pino]

Hi scrambledeggs, glad your are doing better.
I'm better too, but with à lot of up and down. I'm coping pretty well at
the moment i believe. I kept doing my normal routine as much as possible, i had à decent week at work only i seem more sensitive to rigourus excercise so i had to cut down to moderate/mild. That one is bugging me à little. There are some days that i feel despair and hopelessness but the evenings are always better. Mornings/awakening is still dreadfull but this mostly gets less as i get up and the day progresses. the foggy brain seems better now but the Diarrhea and upset stomach is still bothering me (for 3 weeks now).

All in all symptoms are not getting worse but alternate à lot. Overall my attitude Regarding This is getting better and better which makes me feel stronger en more positive. I really tend to believe that the drug pooped out finally and that u have to ride This one out. For time being i dont make another drop.

Scrambledeggs, i have à hard time discussing these things with my friends. So they know nothing about my paxil experience. I talk mostly to my Mother about This because she is listening and not judging. She try's to understand and give advise If possible. Thats good enough for me. O and writing this text here makes me feel better also i notice now lol.