Needing Reassurance :'(

Day 12 of reinstatement of 5mg paxil.

What can I say? Things are just getting worse and worse for me. I dont even know if Im really here. I cry the WHOLE time, non-stop. I cant see that good anymore, everything feels like a dream. I am so zoned out that people talk to me and I dont even know they are there. Dizziness and confusion is so bad I struggle to get out of bed. My head is so foggy I actually feel retarded, I cant function properly anymore. I dont care anymore. My anxiety and depression is severe.

Go on with the 5mg? I dont know.
Stop the 5mg? Who knows.
Go to 10mg? Why not...

I take deep breaths at a constant. I try to relax and think positive. I am trying my best.

Will this really go away? I dont care about the time frame. WILL this go away?
Should I try another SSRI? Should I stop the paxil and tuff out the W/D?

My life feels over. I cant enjoy going out anywhere, I have to stay indoors. People dont even want to spend time with me anymore coz I never feel well. April 2012 was when I last felt ok, I know thats not long ago But feels like forever.

My mom is worried sick to death.. She doesnt know what to do. What is the point of going on?

I just need to know... If i stop the paxil and do this c/t, will i be ok or can this get worse? How is that even possible? When do people start seeing windows of real improvement? And I mean people with my symptoms.

Please, if there is anyone who can send me positive threads or success stories with similiar symptoms and situations then mine, please post them

I am so young.. Now i have to suffer like this. I just started enjoying my life for the first time ever, then i stopped paxil and my life ended. I have a bad head cold or flu and stomach bug. That makes things even worse than it is...

[Songbird]

I'm looking at your signature. It says 'fast taper - w/d Hell', then it says 'Prozac - sick', then it says 'Cymbalta - almost died'. Those all sound extreme. How were you feeling during those three time periods - which was the worst? What were those like compared to now? It is hard for anyone else to judge how bad someone else feels, because only you can feel it.

Should you go on another SSRI - looking at your signature, that hasn't worked well for you so far. These meds often do not cover for eachother - individual responses vary, but quite often a new med doesn't cover w/d from the old med.

If you stop the Paxil and do this c/t, will you be okay - well, nobody can say for certain, but when you stopped Paxil you have put "w/d hell". Cold turkey is unlikely to be okay, and it probably can get worse. The problem with cold turkey is that you really have no control over it, you just have to ride out whatever comes, however long it takes. With reinstatement you have a chance to get some stability and then you have some control with your dose. You'll need some time to see if it works.

If you decide you can't wait and want to cold turkey, that is your decision, but keep in mind that the longer people stay off, the harder it is to reinstate. Some people wait too long, decide to reinstate and it doesn't work, or makes them worse. Then they really have no choice but to stay off and ride out whatever comes. So it is better to try reinstatement as early as possible when it has the best chance of working.

There are success stories around but can be hard to find with so many threads. Here is one thread where people have tried to compile a list of success stories in one place:
http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=52449

Yes, it will go away! Hang in there, it's only been 12 days since you went back on 5mg. Your life hasn't ended, you are still very young, and this is a blip or detour from where you probably wanted to be, but you still have a lot of life ahead of you.

I feel worse than I have ever felt at this moment. I wish i had never taken the prozac or cymbalta, atleast it want for long periods.

I would rather have W/D Hell that i had then tan now. I could atleast function. Now since I reinstated, i cant. Can the reinstatement do more damage?

My life feels like it has ended indeed.. I am young, maybe thats a good thing because I might recover a bit faster. But I cant be bed-ridden for 4 years? I want to get married, have kids, go study. Now i cant do that coz I barely know whats going on around me

Prozac made me feel like a zombie and gave me bad stomach flu. Cymbalta gave me head zaps, extreme dizziness and this weird feeling like my body is moving in circles which i still have. Its like my body is shaking a small bit, my head feels like a bobble

[scotty]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

My life feels like it has ended indeed.. I am young, maybe thats a good thing because I might recover a bit faster. But I cant be bed-ridden for 4 years? I want to get married, have kids, go study. Now i cant do that coz I barely know whats going on around me

OK, first you've got to stop the catastrophic thinking. This isn't a life sentence, it's withdrawal and a failed restart. If it's only gotten worse, then stop the reinstatement and see how it goes.
No one can answer the questions, you're going to have to just make a decision and go with it.

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

But I cant be bed-ridden for 4 years?

Don't be thinking this far ahead, you are freaking yourself out by imagining the worst scenario you can think of. Try to take one day at a time. Like I said, this may be an unwanted detour, but all those things you want in life are still possible. Worrying doesn't achieve anything and just makes you feel bad. Try to focus on something positive, try to feel appreciation for all the little things you can find, even something as simple as the sun shining, or having a nice warm bath.

Laurie, do you think things will get worse for me if I stop the RI? I just cant make discissions in my current state. Im scared and dont know what to do.

Thank you songbird. I need to calm down, I am making my situation much much worse. The psychiatrist wants to put me on an anthihistamine to calm me down thats not addictive or alzam for 8 months Im not going to take that road.. That wouldnt be a good idea. Maybe I should go see a psychologist?

[nicole55]

....you can stop the reinstatment or try a higher amount, one or the other. Nobody knows what will happen you have to make a decision, try it and then reevaluate.

I know this isn't comforting, but if you try one thing and it doesn't help, than you can cross it off your list.

Your on a pretty low amount right now. I'm not sure that would do much for you anyway since the standard theraputic dose is 20 mg.

When I was really bad I had to go back to my original dose at one point, and at another point I had to go higher. It did work for me, but I was not off for very long at all. I was already feeling horrible, so for me, the reinstatement couldn't make me feel much worse, if it didn't work.

If it didn't work , I'm not sure what I would have done,except to go on something else, because I could not go on with the way I was feeling without some action.

If you decide to go higher or try something else, just make sure your doctor knows, and someone close to you knows. Especially because of your reactions to the other meds in your signature. Can you talk to your doctor? I mean they aren't the greatest, but some of them have some ideas about this withdrawal etc. Does your doctor know how bad you are feeling ?

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

The psychiatrist wants to put me on an anthihistamine to calm me down thats not addictive or alzam for 8 months Im not going to take that road.. That wouldnt be a good idea. Maybe I should go see a psychologist?

Which antihistamine? I would possibly consider it. I don't know anything about alzam but assuming it is a benzo I probably wouldn't go there. A psychologist might be helpful if you can find a good one, CBT techniques in particular can be useful.

Im not too sure which one. He says it makes you very sleepy, so Im not too sure as I already feel way out of it. A Benzo is not a good idea at all!!!

My mom was addicted to Lexotan for 3 years, the doctor gave her 15 Buspar a day to get off the Lexotan. Unbelievable!!! But she made it though... That was before I was born. Most of my family members have depression and anxiety. Can it be genetic?

[texgirl]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

Most of my family members have depression and anxiety. Can it be genetic?

You don't even want to get into that.

Seriously, this topic has been debated here frequently, and just like with tapering advice, opinions are all over the map.

My take on it is that the causes of anxiety and depresion don't really matter, since the ways you deal with them are the same. But if it helps to blame your family, go ahead. You won't be alone!

LOL!!! No, I blame the doctor who perscribed me this stuff in the first place. You dont give a 18 year old an SSRI because she had a rough week. Yes, I had anxiety, because i went through hell for a few days, but that was it. She was like "Oh, i know whats wrong with you, you have depression and anxiety, a serious condition that needs medication" GEEZ She told me I only need to take it for 12 months, then my condition will be healed and i can stop the tablets ANY time.. Wow, some nerve.

It just bothers me alot that none of my doctors (And I have many) or psychiatrist does not believe in withdrawal? How is that possible

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

LOL!!! No, I blame the doctor who perscribed me this stuff in the first place. You dont give a 18 year old an SSRI because she had a rough week. Yes, I had anxiety, because i went through hell for a few days, but that was it. She was like "Oh, i know whats wrong with you, you have depression and anxiety, a serious condition that needs medication" GEEZ She told me I only need to take it for 12 months, then my condition will be healed and i can stop the tablets ANY time.. Wow, some nerve.

It just bothers me alot that none of my doctors (And I have many) or psychiatrist does not believe in withdrawal? How is that possible

Belacqua what you need to do is print out some medical papers and bring them to your doctor. Print out some of the work by James Healy. Go to Pubmed and print out the study they did on discontinuation where it showed that 11% of the people in the study had symptoms for over 1month. There is also a good paper on PANES (Persistent Adverse Neurological Symptoms) after quiting SSRI's. There are 4 patients who they followed for a year with serious symptoms. Doctors will never believe you. You will have to show them legit medical information. Send me a private message if you have any issues finding the material and I can email some if it over to you.

Thanks Fred, but that wouldnt really matter now. What can they do to help me now? Nothing... Feels like I am stuck with this problem all by myself. I will tell you one thing though, Once this is all over, I will do everything in my power to make people aware of what Anti-depressants do once you want to stop them. I have barely started my w/d and I am in utter Hell on earth. No one deserves to suffer like this, esspecially depressed and anxious people!!!

[texgirl]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

It just bothers me alot that none of my doctors (And I have many) or psychiatrist does not believe in withdrawal? How is that possible

Short answer: $$$$$

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

Thanks Fred, but that wouldnt really matter now. What can they do to help me now? Nothing... Feels like I am stuck with this problem all by myself. I will tell you one thing though, Once this is all over, I will do everything in my power to make people aware of what Anti-depressants do once you want to stop them. I have barely started my w/d and I am in utter Hell on earth. No one deserves to suffer like this, esspecially depressed and anxious people!!!

They can't do anything to help you but it may help someone in the future to avoid this hell.
Your right no one deserves this. I am early in my withdrawal as well and have had my life completley turne upside down. All we can do is continue to fight and wait for the day when we are healed.

[Songbird]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

Most of my family members have depression and anxiety. Can it be genetic?

I believe that a predisposition can be genetic. That doesn't make it inevitable. It also doesn't make meds the only treatment option. It doesn't have to curse you to a lifetime of illness and pills.