Really struggling don't know what to do!!!!

[FJ929]

I can't even describe the level of suffering I am enduring at the moment. My mind continues to be completley aniahlated. Severe confusion, no memory whatsoever. I'm also feeling this weird sick feeling that I cannot describe. I don't know what it is but it feels exaclty like the feeling I had when I was first put on Paxil only much much stronger. It's not nausea but just a weird feeling that I cannot describe. It's not painful but sooo uncomfortable that I just want to die. I am cracking big time. There is nothing I can do to distract or get my mind off of this. I wish I could sleep all day but I can't. I can't read for any real period of time, tv makes me sick. I am too sick to play with the kids and my wife is really stressed out because she is doing everything. I have moments where I think maybe I am a bit better but then I just end up worse.

How long does this phase of withdrawal last? The phase where you are soo sick you can't really even leave your house or do anything? I don't know how much longer I can take this.

[Bruno2006]

Originally Posted by FredJ

I can't even describe the level of suffering I am enduring at the moment. My mind continues to be completley aniahlated. Severe confusion, no memory whatsoever. I'm also feeling this weird sick feeling that I cannot describe. I don't know what it is but it feels exaclty like the feeling I had when I was first put on Paxil only much much stronger. It's not nausea but just a weird feeling that I cannot describe. It's not painful but sooo uncomfortable that I just want to die. I am cracking big time. There is nothing I can do to distract or get my mind off of this. I wish I could sleep all day but I can't. I can't read for any real period of time, tv makes me sick. I am too sick to play with the kids and my wife is really stressed out because she is doing everything. I have moments where I think maybe I am a bit better but then I just end up worse.

How long does this phase of withdrawal last? The phase where you are soo sick you can't really even leave your house or do anything? I don't know how much longer I can take this.

a lot of my symptoms subsided last month, month 9. As you have heard a thousand times I am sure, everyone is different but i think, from what I learned here, many people see some good improvements around a year give or take. Well that's what many others have told me.

I wish I could give you all the answers you need, as I am sure others wish the same thing, however, your in withdrawal and this is what happens in withdrawal.

I can only tell you what i did during the worst of the worst which was acupunture and some boiled herbs they gave me. That got me through a few months and after I stopped, things return and so I really invested a lot if food, talk therapy, juicing, supplements, etc and also always told myself it will get better because, well...it will

[nicole55]

Sometimes you are right , you can't distract yourself, not really. But you keep going, you just get through it minute by minute. It is no comfort I'm sure to hear that. But you do what you have to . I paced the floor all day long and into most of the night too, some days. (during bad anxiety and reintstatement of a ssri)

You will have better days ahead, you will get better. Don't give up on distraction techniques, keep trying things. Even if it only distracts you for 1 minute, say while you focus and read something, or watch something funny. That gives your brain a one minute break , from ruminating on your symptoms.

As far as withdrawal, I got lucky with tolerable symptoms with a slower taper. But it was horrible with a faster taper. And those symptoms I could NOT take. So if you feel like that, I really don't know how you guys do it/make it. Because I couldn't and ended up back on my regular dose and even higher at some points ( I had 3 failed fast taper attempts). I don't know what you have tried or your exact situation though.

[markca]

Fredj, im so sorry it is rough going. I think we all can understand to some degree the pain you are suffering. You need to just survive one day at a time. I cannot imagine how hard this is to do when one has responsibilities. You are now nearly 2 months free and that is a big accomplishment. If you can just hold on ...the psych torment will recede in time but you will need to be patient.
Keep fighting, you can do it. sorry havent been much help.
markca

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by markca

Fredj, im so sorry it is rough going. I think we all can understand to some degree the pain you are suffering. You need to just survive one day at a time. I cannot imagine how hard this is to do when one has responsibilities. You are now nearly 2 months free and that is a big accomplishment. If you can just hold on ...the psych torment will recede in time but you will need to be patient.
Keep fighting, you can do it. sorry havent been much help.
markca

Thanks Marca I appreciate the support. This is so tough. I am praying for some better days soon to give me strenght to continue.

I have the same sick feeling. Not nausea, cant explain it. I got it since my RI. Is there still no improvement in any of your symptoms? I need hope aswell...

The dizziness and stoned feeling is the worst for me. And the zoned out feeling

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

The dizziness and stoned feeling is the worst for me. And the zoned out feeling

Belacqua11 it seems our symptoms are very very similar. I have the sick feeling as well that I cannot explain. I am severely stoned and disoriented.

Do you think things will get worse for us? I believe its the prozac that made things much worse for me. I crashed big time last month, then my doc put me on prozac, then cymbalta. Thats when my symptoms got much much worse. The 5mg also made things even worse. I am scared I crash even more... Alteast you weaned ok and was on a small dosage, unlike me

[Bilo76]

I am in the same boat. Last few days i wasnt able to leave the house due to wd.
We just have to either wait or try another drug. Not much more options..
But fredj i am looking at your signature. When did the brainfog start?. Was it sudden or with tine..did it start when you tried 5htp?

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Belacqua11

Do you think things will get worse for us? I believe its the prozac that made things much worse for me. I crashed big time last month, then my doc put me on prozac, then cymbalta. Thats when my symptoms got much much worse. The 5mg also made things even worse. I am scared I crash even more... At least you weaned ok and was on a small dosage, unlike me

In some ways I believe it will get worse for me. I have no real anxiety issues at the moment and that is not natural for me. So I am expecting somethings to get worse. I am hoping the cognitive stuff improves it's hard to imagine it can get much worse for me. Your case is more complex because you are reinstating but it seems you are suffering so badly I don't see it getting much worse.

Let's hope and pray!!

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Bilo76

I am in the same boat. Last few days i wasnt able to leave the house due to wd.
We just have to either wait or try another drug. Not much more options..
But fredj i am looking at your signature. When did the brainfog start?. Was it sudden or with tine..did it start when you tried 5htp?

The sever cognitive issues started when I tried to reinstate with Prozac and then got much worse when I tried going back to Paxil.

I doubt things can get worse for me, I really do. And if it does, then there is nothing I can do. Atleast I know i will recover. I was on AD for 4 years, and Im still really young, so I am hopeful.

Going on another drug wont even be an option. What if it doesnt work? Taper for 2 more years for nothing? Hell NO.

My cognitive issues were still manageble untill I went on other drugs. So maybe I wont suffer that long with it, since I only took then a few days... Who knows.

Yes, mine got much worse aswell when I RI paxil 5mg... Wonder why

[Bilo76]

Ok i know i like to hear myself talj but this is ridiculus haha

[Bilo76]

Originally Posted by FredJ

The sever cognitive issues started when I tried to reinstate with Prozac and then got much worse when I tried going back to Paxil.

Fred, what were your symptoms before you tried prozac?

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by Bilo76

Fred, what were your symptoms before you tried prozac?

When I went into withdrawal I had

Insomnia
Bad anxiety
Depression
moments of brain fog (not severe)
very bad Akathisia


During Prozaz
Anxiety got better
Memory loss
bad brain fog (stoned feeling)
Depression (much worse)
Insomnia (same)
Akathisia (same)

During Paxil
Depression (gone)
Akathisia (gone)
Insomnia slight improvement
brain fog
memory loss and severe confusion much much much worse
very bad fatigue after taking the pill

When i went into w/d, I had bad shakes permanently like cold fever and dizziness. Never had a problem with insomnia. Didnt have anxiety.

When I crashed, I had bad anxiety, dizziness, brainfog (Not bad), a bit of confusion and a bad case of stomach flu (For 2 weeks)

I took prozac for 4 days - Then I had bad brain fog and severe anxiety, maybe Akathisia (Pacing up and down, restless)

When i took cymbalta (Dear Lord, I almost died! Brain zaps, felt like there was no blood flow to my brain, funny head sensations, severe sedation (Couldnt talk), Severe brain fog and stoned out feeling

When I RI, Confusion set in, brain fog worse, I feel much slower, dont talk, numb, very bad fatigue and sedation, Sleep solid like a rock (Seriously) Constant headache, anxiety a bit better, Suidical and weepy

Oh ya, since the cymbalta, I have this funny dizziness as if my head is bobbling, i am also shaky, feels like my CNS has been hit by a train. These meds are really dangerous....

[julie-d]

FredJ,
Hang in there! It takes time. You haven't been off Paxil very long. When I was a month or two off Paxil I had all the symptoms you do and others. I'm about 8-1/2 months off now, and am doing much better. I still have w/d symptoms, but they are more manageable and much less intense than they were at 1-2 mos. off. There is light at the end of tunnel, it's just hell while you're in there. Don't give up hope.

[FJ929]

Originally Posted by julie-d

FredJ,
Hang in there! It takes time. You haven't been off Paxil very long. When I was a month or two off Paxil I had all the symptoms you do and others. I'm about 8-1/2 months off now, and am doing much better. I still have w/d symptoms, but they are more manageable and much less intense than they were at 1-2 mos. off. There is light at the end of tunnel, it's just hell while you're in there. Don't give up hope.

Soo glad to hear you are doing better Julie. How bad was your thinking and memory issues? How have they improved? At what point did you see improvement?

Sorry I know alot of questions.

[julie-d]

Originally Posted by FredJ

Soo glad to hear you are doing better Julie. How bad was your thinking and memory issues? How have they improved? At what point did you see improvement?

Sorry I know alot of questions.

My improvement was very gradual and not linear. In other words, I'd feel a little better and then feel worse again. After the first couple of months, I'd start to have windows when I'd feel better for a couple of hours, then eventually it would be all afternoon, then for a whole day. Then I'd start to feel better for consecutive days. Now, I have more good days than bad ones. I still have anxiety, thinking and memory issues, inability to relax, digestive problems, insomnia, lack of interest in sex, muscle tension/shoulder pain. But, none of them are anywhere near as bad as they were, and most days, even though it's often difficult, I can function relatively well. The intensity of all my symptoms has decreased significantly. You have to be really patient and accept that you feel like crap right now and believe that it WILL pass. It REALLY, REALLY sucks to go through, but unfortunately, you have to go through it to get to the other side.

I heard a really good analogy a long time ago when I was just getting sober and w/ding from Xanax. It said, "Every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a lot of dirt to get there." Basically, a flower (or any plant) has to go through a lot of dark, damp, dirty, cruddy muck before it can sprout. Right now, you're in that muck, and it's awful, but you will come through it and sprout up out of the ground and be beautiful and wonderful. HTH