can everyone do it?

[Ariella]

I don't know where you got this idea Darcy.

I'm certainly not dissing it (I know you know hehe). I was seeing if I could personalize it, as an exercise of "where do my beliefs stand in light of this".

But what I was referring to when I mentioned that some points seemed victimizing and guilt harboring is the following (in bold):

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable
-I don't believe for a second that any human being is powerless. Wars are created from those beliefs (since there's nothing else we can do, might as well KILL what it is we're afraid of). Actually, dependence on alcohol can be caused that way to with, "there's nothing else I can do, I might as well drink." Besides, look at the power we have to destroy ourselves? The power to cause ill, is still indicative of creative power. I also don't believe that any life is unmanageable. To me, alcoholic lives become neglected, but only as long as the neglect continues. Those two words sound too permanent, and strip us of our awareness that we were ALWAYS able to change, and are just now choosing to.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
-Nothing is powerless than everything. We are everything, with God, and therefore are not inferior to anything, for we are everything: LIFE. No life is superior to any other life. Life just is. Also, sanity is a vicioiusly over stigmatized word. It is not insane to lean on alcohol, it is neglectful. The stuff is advertised, served at virtually ever single party, is advertised as being medicaly wise for the heart and more. So if someone just jumps to it considering all the mental positive reinforcement, PLUS their own personal observation that it can temporarily numb all kinds of difficult emotions (like Paxil), then what's insane about it? That doesn't take away from the fact that it won't bring us to where we try to go with it however. But missing an observation is not insanity, it's just LACK of information of self and things that really work.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
-That continues to invite thoughts of inferiority compared to God; in essence, a separation from God which just isn't true. (To me, which is why I chose to build upon #3 with what I said before.) Besdies, God doesn't need to be understood, we just have to observe what works. And what works, is actually quitting our denials and serve life. Not some idea that we have to beg for permission to be healthy. It's ours to create at any moment. Also, to feel inferior, is to invite a position in which one seeks out alcohol. I've met alcoholics who drink the most when they feel inferior, often from the last binge because they couldn't quit. Gotta cut out the notions of inferiority, that's not empowering.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
-That sounded too much like keeping a score card. As if after 20 or so GOOD things about ourselves, we are then free to feel better. We're made of pure love and there is nothing moral to inventory. Morals are choices, so #4 should better reflect "choices which we have noticed are not harmful to ourselves or others, but only through the light of who we choose to be". Score keeping for good/bad behavior is too conditional for my heart to identify with. An alcoholic family member should not be abandoned after 3 strikes, or 7, depending on who's keeping score. Even less so should an alcoholic abandon themselves or feel hopeless if they noticed 5 years of abuse. It could have been 7, but that's hardly the point. The point is that one has noticed it's not working, not serving their ultimate goals. It doesn't matter when and to what degree or after what dammage, as long as it happens. But in the end, #4 if left unchanged, still says to me, "we're looking inside when before we wouldn't dare look, we drank". Still, I love saying this with more flowery zest hehe. Helps remind me that things are indeed beautiful.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
-I don't believe in right/wrong. I believe in what serves life and what doesn't. Not because not serving life is wrong, but to not to, denies the truth that we are made of life. Someone who causes another harm, if under the influence of alcohol or not, is in denial of their union with life, which nobody is excluded from, and that includes those they have harmed. Denial is not wrong, it is 'insufficient information' fuelled by fear. Every harm is a self defense mechanism sponsored by a fear. Fear is not wrong either. It is a signal that love is needed.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
-Oooh. That's like nails on a chalkboard to me. We are never defective, nor are we separate/supplicated to God so that only God can rescue us. Besides, we don't need rescuing, we need reminding. This physical life is not real. Our souls created it as a playground to FEEL experiences. Since our real selves are spirit, and not these bodies with a brain, we are not defective, but our creation can be used to experience difficult experiences. God would NEVER remove any of our difficult experiences, for we have CHOSEN to create them in the first place! That would not be freedom. It is up to US, to choose NEW experiences. Just because we dont' always understand the growth process, doesn't make it defective. Besides, we're one with God. God is not deffective. When I say 'one', I mean litterally, completely, utterly. When you don't know/believe that, you can't experience that you are.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
-Same as #6. God doesn't experience time. She is outside of it and sends what we ask, before we have asked. It just takes 'time' for us to notice that little nudges here and there the weeks or years preceding the asking, made the receiving possible, long before we asked him to help. God is genderless to me, logically. If God is everything, than God can never be only "one" thing, although God is indeed one thing: evertyhing (humans, men, women, animals, the wind, odor, emotion). A Divince Dichotomy heh.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
-I just wanted expand the "amends" part to notice that we heal ourselves by healing others. When you give something to another, you make the statement that you had it to give in the first place. Instant creation. Just wanted to bring that out better.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
-I know this meant that if somebody doesn't want to ever see your face again, you shouldn't force them to, but that it's good to try. But I wanted to make sure that the alcoholic knew very clearly that being forgiven by others is not necessary, since if they forgive themselves, and know that God forgives them, then since they are one with all and God, by giving it to themselves; they demonstrate that they indeed have already received it from the whole entirety of life. I want it to be completely free of guilt since guilt is so frequently used a motivator to hide in alcohol. I also wanted to expand on how forgiving those who we believe have hurt us does not free them from the consequences of what they did to us (you can't cheat the universe), but it does free US. Forgiving is selfish ( for the self). Rape victims know this process very clearly.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
-Same as #4

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
-I added to this one to make it clearer that our lives are completely under our control, since our will is God's will. God's will is for us to be aware of that. The power is never in question. To believe one doesn't have power, and believes it enough to have to ask, has given their power away by believing they have to ask. Instead, we should always give gratitude for what we wish to receive. Otherwise, it's a faithless act and will not produce results. Faith is that you know you already have without asking. Freedom is in you...

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
-Almost in alignment with who I am. I'm just highlighting practice here because it's much more effective to BECOME our principles. The practicing/acting part comes from a demosntration that we have chosen to be who we have chosen to be. But you can't be what you haven't chosen to become first.

That's all. I just wanted to see if who I am could reword those steps. They are wonderful steps. There are wonderful ideas about recognition, and connecting others in there that would indeed help people with much more than alcohol. Alcohol and Paxil are the same thing behaviorally: it's something we use because we believe we need it, and have observed a payoff from having used it enough to continue it's use, even if its use drives the point home that we are not enough, without it, which is what got us to seek it out in the first place.

Am I inviting new ideas with all my drivel? It's nice that I'm clear in who I've chosen to be for now, but if it's not serving a higher purpose with everyone, I'll gladly stop ok?

[safarigal]

Darcy

I'm not about to tear apart the steps in AA like you. Nor will I spend time contesting what you wrote. We are all entitiled to our opinions.

The steps work for those who are willing to try them.

Just as we must be willing to quit Paxil and overcome anxiety.

Go to a few AA meetings and you will see the steps in action. Read the "big book" of AA and read "How to work the steps".

Life is one day at a time.

[Ariella]

Yup! Golden advice.