Just when you think you are ok.....

[MizzT]

Hi everyone.
Im having a rough morning and just needed to spew a little. Im really doing very well...and i feel like at least i am getting a grip on so many of the little issues that all led up to taking paxil in the first place. I am able to start participating in the old activities i have always enjoyed.

Its been a long month for me with a 3 day show, selling my jewelry and 10 hours of music each day......then my husband was gone for a week....and last weekend i was up in Denver for 3 days of partying and music and dancing. and ok....no i am bloody exhausted.

that is where the recovery still has me. I make it thru just about anything i set my mind to.....and then i pay dearly for it. The emotional stuff still can get the better of me when i am worn out. then the fog and depression starts to set in. I want to get back to where i can just tackle each day as it comes and be productive and happy and healthy. Im getting there but these weeks when i really try to push it.....i can really tell that i am pushing it.

I met some great girls who are into energyhealing like i am. I was asked to go out this evening to a gathering and i just have to say no. Its always such a juggling act. I want to do everything....and mentally i think i can... but the physical catches up quickly.

I even made a very difficult decision to NOT go do another music run in august.
will have to wait until fall.

Tomorrow is 18 months off paxil. YEah for me. im proud to have done it and come so far. I have learned to kick it down a notch and heal when i have to . But some days i am not overjoyed to have to kick back. Some days i wish it were 100% over with.

thanks for listening.
Beverly

[Maddy]

Beverly...congratulations on your 18 months tomorrow! That is wonderful! You have helped me a lot at this site, and I have learned a lot. Try to remember that everyone has bad days sometimes...even the people who never heard of paxil, LOL! This too shall pass. A therapist who helped me a lot, once told me, "we grow in ****", and I find that is so true. Hang in there.

[safarigal]

defonz

Why push yourself so hard? Is that really necessary? I got exhausted just reading all the things you've been up to.

I don't think my issues with depression and anxiety have anything to do with withdrawal from Paxil. Its been over 18 months Paxil free for me too.

People fail to realize that depression and anxiety are NORMAL. We are all more susceptable to depression when we are exhausted no matter whether someone took Paxil or not. Being female our hormonal cycles can also contribute to depression.

You know the things to do. Sleep well, healthy diet, exercise and positive attitude!

You'll be smiling in no time.

[MizzT]

Thanks Julie and Maddy.
I know i have really been pushing hard the last month. But sometimes it just ends up that way and we have to push thru a bunch of things all at once. I guess i feel like 5 years ago i could have done it easily.....and now i am wiped out afterwards.

Im grateful that i have the time to recover when i need to.
This afternoon i am actually thinking that i might be coming down with something. I have a low fever and a sore throat and i am all achy.
So i probably have an actual reason to feel crappy! YEAH!
*at least its not all in my head*

Its nice to have a place to come for a reality check too.

Beverly