after movie i was trembling.

[darrennyc]

last night i went to see Alien Vs. Predator, thinking it would be a fun escape... i do admit that i get scared in horror movies... when i left the movie i was all jittery and my heart was in palpitations... still a little shaky this morning...

damn... cant i even go to the movies anymore? and i am only on 12.5mg.

[dar7726]

Darren,

Why are you staying on the drugs... Just curious. I mean why not try other measures...Supplements, exercise, probiotics, Fiber, positive thinking, etc.

I can't remember your whole story... So why not give it to us again...

These drugs are vascular constritors, can deplete vit/min from the body, work on screwing up your hormones and sleep, make you gain weight. Etc. Etc. You are rather new to all of this, and with the info out now about what these drugs can do, I'd have never in my life have taken them unless I bought into a lie..... Which I guess I did, come to think of it.

But the point is... All of this was not known when I was told the lie.....


Thanks,
Darlene

[darrennyc]

hi darlene--

yeah i guess i am new to all of this. been on it since july 1st. had bad side effects which subsided... went up to 25mg... side effects got bad again... went back down to 12.5 and have felt good...just last night i was really jittery and palpitating.

that is my story in a nutshell.

i noticed i have gained weight... all i wanna do is eat carbs and i am hungry every few hours.

re: the drugs.... i resisted for a few weeks. i spoke to alot of friends who had experiences and alot of them were promeds and recommended i try them.. they said it changed their lives. i also consulted a psychopharmacologist who came highly recommended and i needed some help badly.

i go back and forth between thinking it is helping me and not. overall i feel llike myself but something is off-kilter... i cant explain it... it is like a slight shift in who i was as a person.

i dont know what to do anymore to be honest.... it is not like i cannot function.

[Mr X]

damn... cant i even go to the movies anymore? and i am only on 12.5mg.

What makes you think it's always the Paxil??? LOL....

[dar7726]

Darren,

You didn't say whether you were depressed, housebound, anxieity ridden.... Etc....

And you didn't say whether you were trying to conquer or had tried to conquer these issues without meds... through the things I mentioned.

What happened in your life that makes you think that going on these drugs could make it better.

Just curious, not judging...
Darlene

[darrennyc]

mr. x, cause maybe it IS the paxil.... if you are so anti-paxil why do you continually deny that people might have reactions to it.

[darrennyc]

darlene,

in mid april i was very depressed... crying spells, not eating, obsessed with having a chronic disease... so i had anxiety as well. i hated work, hated NYC.... wanted to move back home to hawaii.

got tested for everything... convinced i had a major disease and didnt believe my doctors.... all tests came back negative.

couldnt sleep at night.. have been on ambien since then... even today.

have been in therapy since feb.... has helped alot.

i let my gym membership run out... just wasnt in the mood... however i did rejoin last night...

that really is my story... i was also eating well and doing some meditation... still have to continue with that.

that is my story.

[Mr X]

I don't deny others have reactions to it, but in your case you believe EVERYTHING is due to the Paxil....When it's probably not..I think your issues have issues.......

[darrennyc]

you are right mr. x. my dog peed on the floor today because of the paxil. 9/11 happened because of the paxil. :P

[Mr X]

convinced i had a major disease and didnt believe my doctors

And don't forget to add HYPOCHONDRIAC because of the paxil....

[darrennyc]

oh i didnt forget... thanks for reminding me (again).

[Mr X]

Darren, sometimes messing with you is one of the hi-lites of my day....

[darrennyc]

must be the paxil....LOL

[safarigal]

Hi Darren,

So you moved from Hawaii to NYC and you're depressed, I'd say that's a normal reaction

Its normal for us to get depressed from any major life change such as a big move, job change, death of a loved one, divorce, buying a house, financial disaster, natural disaster, terrorist attack and the list goes on.

Given time and patience we naturally recover.

But we fear that the depression and feeling out of sorts will last forever. We often don't give ourselves enough time to get used to our new situation. Our society has trained us to seek out a quick fix.

Don't sweat, give yourself time and patience and you'll be fine

[darrennyc]

thanks julie.

im really not depressed anymore. more anxiety i think.

i am actually gonna be in hawaii next week for a vacation.... i am very excited and cant wait to chill out on my fav. beach.

thanks for the support.

[darcyb]

That's enough you two.

There are two variables to consider. One, is Darren's perception of reality, and two, Darren's perception of reality while on Paxil. Since you cannot separate one from the other at this time, and can't for more than a year after his last dose since withdrawal affects people that long, then you have to assume one taints the other regardless of frequency of 'blame assignment' or duration.

Mr. X is doing everyone a favor in suggesting we not lay blame, and just witness experiences as themselves unlabeled, and let time gradually reveal the truth.

Darren is doing us a favor in inviting us to stay interested in how Paxil affects lives in varying ways, many of which are negative.

We need you BOTH to continue presenting those views. But do it impersonally please, or temporary bans may occur.

AvP was a heart racing film. I eat up games like Silent Hill, but that AvP was pretty stomach curdling! (I love the game too, best played with headphones in a dark room hehe) When I was coming off Paxil, I made the mistake of watching "The Cell". I was freaked and terririfed illogically for weeks. Withdrawal and reduction of Paxil, is an intensifying experience. As Paxil is removed from the system, things that were made dull by it, bounce back like a sling shot (ie:they overcompensate for a while), until the discharge, and then things calm down. This process can take months. And yeah, getting over-freaked out by things like movies is COMMON.

Another Paxil withdrawal movie experience: There's a part in Disney's jungle book where a monkey dies (if I recall corrently, I'll have to re-read my diaries) where I completely lost it and cried and cried and cried. I was upset over that fictional cartoon death for severa days. Withdrawal does that. It makes emotions intense, and sticky. It's why when the dreams get all wonky during Paxil withdrawal duress, they stick with you the whole day(s) after.

There is a humorous cynisism that goes with having a Paxil withdrawal experience. We all have a fun time blaming it for this and that. It's part of keeping things light hearted so that we can persevere through the ugly parts of it. People have been blaming Paxil, tongue in cheek and seriously, for the whole 4 years I've been watching tens of thousands of peopel go through it. It's not wrong. It's not a defect. And it's not worth the energy correcting it considering its therapeutic value. Yeah, it's never a good idea to remove our own accountability and blame something else, but when you breathe humour into it, it doesn't matter, and it becomes healing either way.

"Paxil made me do it" is a common inner dialogue of people having to live with the stuff! Let's recognize and accept it instead of lashing out and rejecting it. No mental health challenge was healed through rejection nor denial. You have to hold gracefully, what you wish to gracefully let go of. Anxiety and depression are elements so entrenched in personal rejection, that to critisize our temporary coping strategies (blaming Paxil, or not), is like critisizing a tree that grows horizontal for a while trying to get more sunlight. Eventually, we all straighten out and reach for the sky, so let it be so.

[emily]

I think they're flirting with each other, Darcy!

FYI: Manchurian Candidate is highly panic-inducing--also really, really well-made!

[Mr X]

I think in a weird sort of way me and him have become Paxil buddies...

[darrennyc]

i dont think it is weird at all... we are the yin and yang of the paxilprogress site.

[darcyb]

As long as you're having fun.

[darrennyc]

it is fun. everyone has diff. ideas of fun and diff. sense of humor.

however, i do have legitimate concerns and issues that i am working on... am a work in progress as we all are.

i have been taking zyrtec cause ragweed season is upon us (ALREADY!!) and i was wondering if people had interactions with paxil. i did call my psychopharma and he said no. i was feeling awfully trembly and dizzy today and thought it was from these 2 meds. from my point of view i dont think i am a hypochondriac or a person who wants to blame everything on paxil. i am trying to proactive when it comes to my health cause it is all that we have in life really.... no money in the world can buy good health.... that and i just havent been myself since mid april... a strong feeling from inside.... intuition... from the gut.

i really did also think the movie would have been fun and it was but i got stressed out in it... but that was the intention of these kind of films... i guess i should have seen the princess diaries 2 instead. my nerves dont undertand the marketing of films....LOL

[safarigal]

Darren, I found that since Paxil I've become very sensitive to any kind of meds including decongestants and allergy meds. Although they may say non-drowsy, I still feel woozy if I take them. If I really need something I can only take it at night before bed.

Speaking of movies, I watched "Into the Mouth of Madness" a John Carpenter film from 1995. OMG it was scary and kinda reminded me of Paxil cold turkey withdrawal when you start to lose touch with what is real and what's not.

So if you're not in the throws of Paxil withdrawal, I highly recommend this movie

[Scott]

darren, i thought you weren't staying on the drug.. i wouldn't stay on much longer if you plan to quit it without much trouble. You weren't on it long enough to be tapering this long. The longer you're on the more time your brain has to adjust to it, the longer your ultimate recovery time.

[dar7726]

Darren,

Also, did you have anything happen prior to feeling depressed. Like a surgery, or taking antbiotics .....


Sorry for all the questions... Its just that I hate to see someone on these drugs if we can help you pinpoint a reason that could have made you feel sad etc. Then you could work on healing that and not have to be on the drugs..


Hope I'm not being to nosy,
Darlene

[Mr X]

But with any luck withdrawal may not be so bad from the 12.5 CR, And I'm sure he plans on cutting them to 6.25 as I plan on and continue that course for weeks, 4-6 at least. I recall Darren having trouble getting ON the Paxil, so Getting OFF could be an issue either way. I dunno how it will affect myself when I start to get off, I had no problems going on it, aside for a few extra bathroom visits during the 2nd-3rd week...