tada (drum roll) my new avitar pic..Thanks Shaney!!!

-Ell · 10-09-2004, 07:58 AM

yesterday was horrible! I found I had to take more xanax yesterday to keep myself at bay! Ok so not that much more I only took 1 mg total yesterday...compared to the 4mgs a day of that and 40mgs a day of paxhell.....I'm still doing fairly well!

all the compulsive worrying is coming back head on! I am worried about having cancer again! (gads I hate that one)! It comes out of nowhere!....

we are having difficulty financially (who the hell isn't?)....but I worry ...is today the day we are gonna lose our house? (yeah ok we live in a mobile home and the company that "sells" them or finances them has about 50 of them sitting out here they have repoed! I don't think they want another one! Yeah we are late with the payment but they will get it! So I need to just stop thinking about that one!

I want to be able to stop the stupid worrying! Worrying can not add another day to your life. (that's a verse somewhere)! Probably knocks a day or too off of it!

Sigh...a day in the life of a ex-paxhell loadie!

Scott · 10-09-2004, 10:34 PM

Oh sure, i'm just useless I guess

safarigal · 10-10-2004, 04:44 AM

Hey brgrl, Its nice to see a real pic of you!

I know the worrying is a tough one to overcome. I find that stress really makes my mind repeat things I don't want to think about.

-Ell · 10-10-2004, 06:40 AM

you will never know how much of an inspiration you have been to me! You da man!!

....but come on tell me the truth...you blew the pic up and framed it!

Just kidding...just meant Shane has more time on his hands then you do!

Oh crap just kidding again!

I give up

Hey rock...how can I pick on you this morning?

Safarigal...I was FORCED to smile for that pic! I hope that someday I can really smile like that again willingly without being drunk! I sometimes smile on the inside but can't seem to get my face to realize that yeah I'm kind of happy! SIGH!

Pat Shields · 10-10-2004, 09:44 AM

Act as if, act as if. Not a solution, but once in a while it helps. I act as if I feel OK inside, and some days my psyche gets the message.

Scott · 10-10-2004, 11:09 PM

Brdgirl (I forgot your name again) don't worry about having to take medication yesterday. That was a lot of meds you quit taking. I know I was on a lot longer but it took me a long time to quit 3mg of xanax and i'm still not ssri free yet so you're doing just fine..

I know how you feel about the obcessive thoughts and worries.. I actually love to go to sleep at night because I don't worry then. In all honesty i've given up worrying about everything outside of me.. I just don't have the strength to do it. My worries about me are enough to fill the space and then some. It's such a slow process but someday, hopefully soon, we too will be "those people", those people who did it.

pantala · 10-11-2004, 10:16 AM

Brdgrl,
Love your pic!
Someday the smile will feel real.
Kathryn

silence4now · 10-11-2004, 03:01 PM

Brdgrl,

Good to see your smilin' face, girl!

As Charlotte says, "chin up...."

10-09-2004, 07:51 AM	#1
-Ell "Thread Killin' Queen" Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 11,123	tada (drum roll) my new avitar pic..Thanks Shaney!!! __________________ (?)2000 A/D cocktail mixing begins with Buspar and Xanax Off Buspar - on paxil. paxil/xanax combo seemed to work until 2003 slow wean off paxil - last drop November 2004 horrible withdrawal / stayed on xanax placed on generic prozac (20mg) 8/2005 8/2005 on and off prozac 10/2005 off prozac put on 50mgs of zoloft 9/2006 cutting back on zoloft--12/ 06 ct / zoloft 12/06 low dose of Wellbutrin /still on xanax 09/07 off wellbutrin begin wean off xanax

10-09-2004, 07:58 AM	#2
-Ell "Thread Killin' Queen" Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 11,123	it's been 2 long weeks..... yesterday was horrible! I found I had to take more xanax yesterday to keep myself at bay! Ok so not that much more I only took 1 mg total yesterday...compared to the 4mgs a day of that and 40mgs a day of paxhell.....I'm still doing fairly well! all the compulsive worrying is coming back head on! I am worried about having cancer again! (gads I hate that one)! It comes out of nowhere!.... we are having difficulty financially (who the hell isn't?)....but I worry ...is today the day we are gonna lose our house? (yeah ok we live in a mobile home and the company that "sells" them or finances them has about 50 of them sitting out here they have repoed! I don't think they want another one! Yeah we are late with the payment but they will get it! So I need to just stop thinking about that one! I want to be able to stop the stupid worrying! Worrying can not add another day to your life. (that's a verse somewhere)! Probably knocks a day or too off of it! Sigh...a day in the life of a ex-paxhell loadie! __________________ (?)2000 A/D cocktail mixing begins with Buspar and Xanax Off Buspar - on paxil. paxil/xanax combo seemed to work until 2003 slow wean off paxil - last drop November 2004 horrible withdrawal / stayed on xanax placed on generic prozac (20mg) 8/2005 8/2005 on and off prozac 10/2005 off prozac put on 50mgs of zoloft 9/2006 cutting back on zoloft--12/ 06 ct / zoloft 12/06 low dose of Wellbutrin /still on xanax 09/07 off wellbutrin begin wean off xanax

10-09-2004, 10:34 PM	#3
Scott Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 11,591	Oh sure, i'm just useless I guess __________________ Scott aka Scott What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive surviving an ssri reaction alternative anxiety treatments

10-10-2004, 04:44 AM	#4
safarigal Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Clearwater, FL Posts: 4,879	Hey brgrl, Its nice to see a real pic of you! I know the worrying is a tough one to overcome. I find that stress really makes my mind repeat things I don't want to think about. __________________ Julie Paxil free since Nov 2002! Forum Rules Withdrawal FAQ

10-10-2004, 06:40 AM	#5
-Ell "Thread Killin' Queen" Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 11,123	SCOTT27...don't ever say that!!!! you will never know how much of an inspiration you have been to me! You da man!! ....but come on tell me the truth...you blew the pic up and framed it! Just kidding...just meant Shane has more time on his hands then you do! Oh crap just kidding again! I give up Hey rock...how can I pick on you this morning? Safarigal...I was FORCED to smile for that pic! I hope that someday I can really smile like that again willingly without being drunk! I sometimes smile on the inside but can't seem to get my face to realize that yeah I'm kind of happy! SIGH! __________________ (?)2000 A/D cocktail mixing begins with Buspar and Xanax Off Buspar - on paxil. paxil/xanax combo seemed to work until 2003 slow wean off paxil - last drop November 2004 horrible withdrawal / stayed on xanax placed on generic prozac (20mg) 8/2005 8/2005 on and off prozac 10/2005 off prozac put on 50mgs of zoloft 9/2006 cutting back on zoloft--12/ 06 ct / zoloft 12/06 low dose of Wellbutrin /still on xanax 09/07 off wellbutrin begin wean off xanax

10-10-2004, 09:44 AM	#6
Pat Shields Ms. Pee Pee!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Ft. Leonard Wood/Lebanon, Missouri area Posts: 8,398	Act as if, act as if. Not a solution, but once in a while it helps. I act as if I feel OK inside, and some days my psyche gets the message. __________________ Patricia When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stone-cutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it would split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before together. -Jacob A. Riis, journalist and social reformer (1849-1914)

10-10-2004, 11:09 PM	#7
Scott Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 11,591	Brdgirl (I forgot your name again) don't worry about having to take medication yesterday. That was a lot of meds you quit taking. I know I was on a lot longer but it took me a long time to quit 3mg of xanax and i'm still not ssri free yet so you're doing just fine.. I know how you feel about the obcessive thoughts and worries.. I actually love to go to sleep at night because I don't worry then. In all honesty i've given up worrying about everything outside of me.. I just don't have the strength to do it. My worries about me are enough to fill the space and then some. It's such a slow process but someday, hopefully soon, we too will be "those people", those people who did it. __________________ Scott aka Scott What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive surviving an ssri reaction alternative anxiety treatments

10-11-2004, 10:16 AM	#8
pantala Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: WDM, Iowa Posts: 440	Brdgrl, Love your pic! Someday the smile will feel real. Kathryn __________________ "That which is like unto itself is drawn" - Abraham-Hicks, The Law of Attraction Family member of two who withdrew from Zoloft.

10-11-2004, 03:01 PM	#9
silence4now Join Date: May 2004 Location: SE U.S. Posts: 3,455	Brdgrl, Good to see your smilin' face, girl! As Charlotte says, "chin up...." __________________ Lisa - Paxil free since May 2004 _________________________________ God's economy is always positive.

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