Very scared.

[rooster]

Hi all,
I don't post to often but I visit this great board on a daily basis.
I was on paxil for 6 months and went off it after tapering down 4 weeks ago. Initially my withdrawal wasn't too bad, I had the zaps, the nausea, flu symptoms but I felt I handled it well. This week however I've had terrible anxiety and feel as though my stomach is so tight it's going to burst, plus I've had the dizzies on and off as well.

Monday and Tuesday I felt great, but woke up Wednesday with a few aches, not much appetite and went downhill from there.

Is this just a hiccup? I really feel sad about this knot in my gut and the nausea. When I feel this way I wonder if it will go away at all as the reason I went on Paxil to begin with was for severe anxiety.

I am really, really worried about this as I could not bare going back to how I was before taking paxil.

Thankyou for any replies.

[safarigal]

Hi Rooster,

I know its tough to live with constant anxiety, I've been there too.

What you are experiencing now is probably a combination of withdrawal and your old anxiety symptoms returning. Withdrawal from Paxil can make your anxiety feel much worse.

It is normal and expected that symptoms you had prior to taking Paxil will return. Paxil is not a cure for anxiety, only a bandaid.

You've got work to do on yourself now. Look inside yourself and figure out what is going on in your life that is stressing you and creating the anxiety. Take some time to read a self-help book such as "Don't Panic" and learn how to take control of your anxiety and panic. It is possible to overcome anxiety and panic on your own without the use of SSRIs. I've done it and so have many others.

Good luck

[MizzT]

Hi Rooster!

Magnesium supplements will help relax the smooth muscle tissue in your gut. It shoudl release the tension there!

At withdrawal, sometimes the anxiety or depression we experienced returns at a higher intensity. Think of it as, the door had been shut, it was held back, but now isn't. I believe that eventually it will stabilize. In the mean time, exercise is an excellent way to keep the anxiety chemicals from building up. Some find that meditationg develops "mental muscle" to teach new thinking, or as I quote Rocksinger mind molding. I work on how I think and percieve and decide things, work off the stress, If you look up the current literature, there are now three studies that support that exercise is equal to or better than the effect of antidepressants on depression. What I know is if I am anxious long enough, I get depressed.
Eating well is important to. Perhaps some of the longer timers can let us know. I'm on 10mg down from 60mg since April 04. Sounds like this is a 6mth to year, year and a half process from what I've read.

[Abby]

Fuzzy girl has a great point about 'mind molding'. There are many books and ideas out there on how to achieve this...success for me lay in approaching it like somebody training for a marathon...crossed with the compassion of a zen-master, if there can be such a thing!

The approach I used was very structured - meditation or yoga for 45 minutes every day for 8 weeks, come rain, hail or shine, and no matter how you feel. It felt totally stupid and pointless, but it really did train my mind to be able to deal with both withdrawal and the original issues that drove me to drugs.

Exercise is just wonderful...I try to walk an hour a day. If I am having a particularly f**ed up day, I will make myself do it, and suspend judgement or decisions until I have done the hour...it is just unbelievable how much your mind can 'change' in the space of an hour. Sometimes that hour feels like a lifetime of mental processing.

I think it's a matter of finding your own personal 'prescription', and it's something no doctor, no book, no pill can give you...for me, it's a combination of a radical shift in the way I see the world, my self, and my place in it, a firm commitment to a meditation/yoga practice, and attending to whatever my physical and emotional needs are - diet, exercise, rest, joyful activity, connection with my family and friends, that kind of thing.

I have never figured out what proportions of which...and I think for me, that flexibility is the key. My mind and body change every day...what's going on externally changes every day..there are some fundamental, bottom line things I know I need to do (or not do) to maintain a sense of balance...but the rest depends on my what my mind and body are telling me.

I have found any thing that helps me listen to both, and feel OK about responding, is a good thing.

[rooster]

Thankyou for your replies, I just find it so hard to change my thinking. My main anxiety is a fear of getting this awful sick feeling that stays with me for months if I smell,see, or eat certain foods (I had major food poisoning 6 years ago and have had some kind of phobia to food ever since).

I've had a pretty normal life since then only if I eat the bland foods that my mind says won't make me sick! But going out for dinner or a barbecue is a major event as I just hope I can get through the meal without getting that awful feeling of not being able to swallow anything and then being sick for months.

Once I start to get that sick feeling I tell myself everything will be fine etc but it doesn't help at all as I feel so nauseas that nothing I tell myself stops that feeling. I have my own band and worry from day to day if I'll be able to play our next show due to these problems which I know are ridiculous but are so real to me that I just feel like crying all day long.

[safarigal]

Rooster, have you considered seeing a therapist to help you overcome your food phobia?

[rooster]

Hi Safarigal,
Only recently I've been considering seeing a therapist. But believe it or not I thought that I had something physically wrong with me. For the first couple of years I had every test under the sun and they all came back fine. It's quite clear to me now that I have this extreme anxiety to greasy, smelly foods and I avoid any social activity that includes a meal fearing I'll get sick or have some kind of panic attack. When I do get sick it lasts for months and I lose heaps of weight then I get depressed, not due to my life but because of being sick. If I wake up one morning and feel ok, you wouldn't believe how happy that makes me feel!

Then sometimes I would be feeling fine and half way through eating a meal I'll get that awful feeling and a terrible taste in my mouth for no reason, not be able to swallow and then be constantly sick for months.

There is a part of me that thinks this is something I just have to live with because the sick feeling I get is so strong that it seems no matter how hard I try to "think it away" it just stays and gets worse.

What kind of therapist could help me? psychiatrist? psychologist? do you think I can be completely free of this? I would really like to do this without drugs but it just seems like this anxiety or phobia is such a part of me. I wish it was six years ago again before that food poisoning day when I was normal!!!!

Thank you so much.

[safarigal]

Rooster, I have a phobia too and have learned for the most part how to overcome it.

My phobia revolves around one single thought that I get when I'm driving mostly on a highway. The thought is "I want to crash my car" its such a phobic thought that it triggers anxiety and panic attacks. I get anxious about having the thought and then panic when I get it because I don't want to crash the car.

It all started back in 98 when I was really stressed out with my family situation. I was driving on a busy highway in the left lane at 70 mph beside a concrete barrier. My left hand began to tingle and I had the urge to pull the steering wheel to the left and crash the car. The thought scared the crap out of me because I did not want to die! So every time I drove that highway after that I got anxious about having the thought and actually doing it! I quit driving that highway and drove another one, the thought didn't go away.

Eventually the thought started to happen on all kinds of roads. But I drove anyway because I knew that if I didn't then I would lose my freedom. I went on Paxil to combat the panic but never did gain total control over it even on Paxil and Xanax. I could drive any road but a big highway.

Anyway, after I quit Paxil I still have the thought and resulting panic. But I've learned to live with it and get on with my life. I know in my heart and soul that I'll never crash my car on purpose. I've also learned that I have to take good care of myself by exercising, eating right and taking supplements. I find that if I'm hungry, tired or stressed then I get the thought.

I guess its all about learning to become friends with your phobia and resulting panic.

You can find psychologists who specialize in phobias and anxiety. Just look in the Yellow Pages. They really do help and so do the self-help books.

Good luck!!