Suicidal thoughts?

[Norb]

Hi, i've had a bad past week, i gradually came off the lorazepam and atenolol, but it wasnt working,, i'm back on atenolol, i've also had diarhea for a few days, still got some stomach problems, i've been feeling dizzy, over the weekend i've gotten a little better, and this week since monday i've been pretty good, the only thing is i get those suicidal toughts i guess, that i try to ignore and think of something else, i dont expand on them or think about it, and i dont consider it or antying, its just that i get them.. and i keep thinkin about wut i'm going thru and thinking of what all to say to my psychologist all thruout the day, i'm currently on 150 wellbutrin XL 10lexapro and 25mg atenolol

[Mr X]

Norb, are you on Atenolol for hypertension?? just curious...I take 25mg of that myself...

Shaney, another term for it is Tenormin...

[Norb]

i've been on paxil for 3 months before the big switch to wellbutrin and lexapro, i siwtched b/c i felt like paxil was giving me sidefects and tahts all, i'm not trying to taper off, my doctor told me "you gotta stop with this weening yourself off **** by yourself" i'm just trying to stabolize i guess, i want to feel myself again, my day is taken up by thinking about how i fel and what all to tell my psychologist, i'm about to switch to a psychiatrist, b/c i need someone that can deal with the medicine i take, and to asnwer your Q MR.X i take atenolol to decrease my heartbeat, and blood pressure. I'm only 19 years old, and 5 months ago i was fine, until my mom passed away...

[Mr X]

5 months ago i was fine, until my mom passed away...

Well, this could definately be stress related. And your still very young ..The Atenolol will help keep the pulse & pressure down. It's a very common med. Switching to a psychiatrist could indeed help as they can prescribe meds where the psychologist cannot..However, you are a tad young to be on Blood Pressure medicine, but on the other hand I thought I was to when I started taking them 2 years ago at 32....

[Mr X]

he needs someone to get hold of him and talk through the situation???

Yes, he's still young yet, it is after the age of 30 that people are hard to change psychologically...The cement has hardened so to speak...

[elisa]

Norb - I am so sorry that your mom passed away and you're only 19.

I agree wholeheartedly with Shaney - you need to talk about your feelings - more healing than taking meds. These drugs are a bandaid only and they only suppress your grief.

Take care of yourself Norb.

[Norb]

I must say that I agree with wut all of yal said about the meds, its just that they are addictive, and they cause me so many sideffects its scary to come off of em, when i decresed the dose of paxil down to 12.5 i had uncontrollable crying spells i felt horrible, dizzy, stomach problems, and more.. after all i've been taking i did come to the conclusion that meds are not doing me any good, and i also came to the coclusion that it prevents me from grief, the reason why i started taking them is b/c on my own, after my mom passed away, the 2nd day after, i started having diarhea, i was shaking, my legs would feel like they're going numb, my heartbeat was 120. I would want to see how i'd do on my own with out medication, its just that its not that easy, the period of weening off is horrible...

thanks

[Norb]

I take 150 mg of wellbutrin XL, 10mg of lexapro and 25 mg of atenolol, i take all of those in the morning, and i understand that wellbutrin and lexapro are time-release, so i dont think i can just break them in half?

[Mr X]

I wouldn't mess with the Atenolol dosage until you see your doctor, 25mg of it is not alot...But, in order to get off of it, you take 1/2 a pill for 3-4 days then stop........Atenolol is easy to cease...

[Norb]

i was taking lorazepam half a mg 3 times a day, i went off of that during the course of 3 days, and along with that i went off of 25mg of atenolol, and shortly after that my heartbeat jumped way up, so did the blood pressure, and i was having diarhea.. stomach cramps... i've been doing good for the last 2 days tho, i've been back on 25 mg of atenolol for 5 days now or so, i'm not going back to lorazepam..

[Mr X]

Yeah, sounds like the Atenolol had your BP in check until you stopped it. Like I said, stay with the Atenolol until you see your doc...That stuff keeps the beat at bay...........

[Esstella]

Norb - I cannot imagine losing my mumat such an age. You are so brave and strong just getting through it - whether you are on the meds or not.
I love an alanis song that says - how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out?
I do it every day - and grieve for me and things that have happened and maybe that would work for you too?
I am not sure wheter you are male or female?? But that is beside the point! Everyone needs to cry!

Let that grief out and keep in truckin..... this board never sleeps....

[Norb]

thats another thing.. on oct 13 would have been my mom's 46th birthday, and i felt like crying i had the feeling to cry.. but i coudn't b/c of the medication i was on, and i felt soo guilty, i knew that if i had cried i would have felt relieved...

[Norb]

oh and i'm a guy.. lol.. i treid to get my picture up on the profile but it dosnt seem to work..

[scotty]

Hey, Norb, nice to see you!!!!

[Esstella]

Don't feel guilty about not crying.
Your mum would understand - and hey, just because you didn't cry doesn't mean you didn't care right!
Spirits in the other world know how we feel, she sees all your grief and knows you miss her, that is all that matters!!!

[elisa]

Originally Posted by Norb

I take 150 mg of wellbutrin XL, 10mg of lexapro and 25 mg of atenolol, i take all of those in the morning, and i understand that wellbutrin and lexapro are time-release, so i dont think i can just break them in half?

Norb - yes you can break them in half. A pillcutter would do the job nicely. Personally, I would tackle one drug at the time though. Does Wellbutrin come in smaller doses?

If you decide to start tapering, do it ever so slow. Taper about 10-15% of the dose every 2-3 weeks. When feeling okay. then decrease again same percentage and so on. When done, then start tapering the Lexapro in the same way.

I would suggest to continue taking your blood pressure medication until you are off these two drugs.

Take care of yourself Norb. Please don't feel guilty about not being able to cry. It's the med that inhibits you from crying. It certainly doesn't feel good in not being able to cry, but it's not your fault.

Hey Norb,

A little support form the Netherlands.

It really breaks my heart to read about what you're going through...... Losing your mother at such a young age, and now having to struggle with both depression and medicines.....

I can give you no advice on your medication like others can, because I have no experience with them. All I can do is tell you to take care of yourself, hang in there, somehow, and all of this will change, slowly but surely, even if you can't believe it right now.

And keep coming back here, this forum has an aura of support and understanding and strength and hope and love surrounding it. Soak it up. I know I do.

Eppe.

[Norb]

i thought that breaking time release pills destroys the time realse thing, and it hits u all at one time

[MizzT]

Hi Norb
nice to see you! i know scotty's son cut the CR paxils and did fine with it. i have heard a lot have been ok cutting them.

Im really sorry to hear what you have gone thru. I hope you understand that this is probably one of the most difficult things you will ever have to go thru. the increased heart rate, anxiety, depression....are all perfectly normal things to experience in the face of such turmoil.
and...you are so young....your body is very resilient and will get past this all in no time. YES...the addiction and withdrawal presents is own challenge...but you will survive that......yes it may suck....but you will get there and be all the stronger for it all.

peace to you
beverly

[scotty]

Norb, the time released aspect of the CR version only delays the release over a 24 hour period. Once your down to the dosage that would require cutting ,its so low that it doesn't make a difference.I checked this out with a psychiatrist that I trust and my pharmacist who both said "cut it in half". Is the Wellbutrin a pill or a capsule?? If its a capsule that might pose a problem. Let me know.