Fears of HIV

[lastcall1969]

Does anybody here have OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)? and have fears of getting HIV even though they have tested negetive? I have fears that I will. I have done really nothing execept finger someone that it, there was no sex or kissing. Please let me know what you think.

Thank you for the help.
Alex.

[Mr X]

I have done really nothing execept finger someone thats it, there was no sex or kissing.

Then I wouldn't worry about it.....HIV is a sexual/blood related illness....

[darcyb]

Mr. X is right. HIV dies (or falls apart, depending on your belief if virii are alive or just code carriers) with hand soap, and dies when exposed to air. It's a very weak virus, which is why you need a direct blood exposure or sexual organ fluid exchange, and even then, you could have HIV for 30 years and never notice symptoms (a minority experience). A test would show it course hehe. If your sexualy active with several partners, regular tests are responsible.

So unless your finger was bleeding, you're fine. In the future, arouse your partner with a condom over your fingers. If anything, it will reduce the abbrasiveness.

Has your partner ever been tested? Your concern is just as important as theirs. It's not paranoia to remain aware of and resctrictive of who you invite in your sexual expression, as long as it doesn't hinder the development of a relationship, when one is sought. But yeah, don't let OCD turn you into someone who worries so much, you're no longer being loving and sexual, but mechanical and focused on the orgasm goal instead of enriching yourself with the process.

[lastcall1969]

Yes, I have been tested 30 days from the fingering and it was negative and I only did that for a second (it was a mistake in a go-go bar. NO cuts on my firgers at that time. I don't have any other parters except my wife.

Thanks,
Alex

[emily]

Your problem isn't HIV, it's OCD, & you clearly recognize this! Fixating on physical "what-ifs" is common with all anxiety disorders (on this board, we worry that going off paxil is going to vegetabilize us or drive us batty, despite all empiroical evidence otherwise). With OCD, these common fixations become maddening because they replay on a constant feedback loop. I'd suggest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, & maybe seek out other message boards (like on ivillage or crazymeds.org) where you'll find others with the same problems!!!

Some common CBT techiniques:
1. Probability Estimation. With anxiety disorders, we OVERESTIMATE the probability of the imagined threat occuring. A feeling of doom makes the fear seem INEVITABLE (I've had fears of going crazy before), whereas all rational evidence (statistics re: HIV-transmission, etc) prove otherwise. Practice thinking rationally, rather than fearfully. Write down your fears, & your anxious rationalization of those fears; THEN write down the cold, hard un-anxious truth of why the fear's unfounded. Do it every day, or ten times a day,, if you need to.

2. We catastrophize. We make any situation seem hideous. The truth is that there are people among us who are HIV-positive who are living productive, dignified & joyful lives. (It's actually World Aids Day Today!) People with anxiety disorders fear a heart attack, or cancer, or whatever, & we always, always flat-out forget that none of these conditions are an automatic death-sentence, & the presumption that it would be is just our anxiety talking & is kinda an insult, if you think about it, to the people who have to deal with all this stuff, & an insult to the human spirit, too. We can overcome all the stuff we fear--& we can overcome the fear, too.

My advice: seek help from an OCD expert. Don't go it alone!

[lastcall1969]

Emily,

Thank you very much for your positive advice. You are 100% correct and I will be seeing my OCD Doctor. You have really help me on this issue. Thanks for saving my Holidays. May you and your Family have a Happy one.


Alex

[emily]

Lastcall,

I'm SO glad I could help! I'm becoming more & more aware of my OCD,
& it's truly a struggle a person can only understand if they've been through it. Keep up the good fight--I know we'll both be ok!

Em

[RockSinger]

Hey.......where's that go-go bar?

Gotta check that one out.

[Mr X]

I'll meet you there Rock........

[darcyb]

Do you suppose the 3 ugly ones get paid the same?

[rdjanis]

Originally Posted by paxilprogress

Do you suppose the 3 ugly ones get paid the same?

Good, bad, or ugly.... I am sure as long as there are desperate men they will make some good $ LOL

[-Ell]

you guys are BAD!!! The 3 ugly ones probably own the joint!!!


and Emily that was profound. My OCD or depression or panic attacks or whatever was brought on by a constant fear F E A R of cancer. I had a lump on my arm...I had everybody who stopped by the house feeling it. I had the chiro open his office so I could go get it xrayed..then wasn't confident with his answer so ran to the emergency room to have it xrayed....nothing was wrong but a deep bruise that didn't show up on the outside.
.....thought I had cancer of the esophogus(what my dad died of).....had to have the barium swallow and some other scan! NEGATIVE....(btw I still bring a panic attack thinking I have it)

...convinced myself I had ovarian cancer 2 years ago..that led to an ultrasound of my insides....(no fun)....all negative.

I've thought I had cancer of everything. I fear hardly anything else at all....I am just as likely to die a horrible car crash death where we live than to even contract cancer. Yet I get in that mess of traffic everyday!

what a spin cycle we put ourselves in! And how wonderful that paxhell was to cover it up for a short period of time while I slept 7 years of my kids lives away!

aaaaaaaargh!

[-Ell]

btw...the HIV thing has crossed my mind several times in the last few months. I started wondering about the cleanliness of the nail salons and how it seems nothing is sterilized. .....also still wonder about the tattoo I have....how could I have been infected by that...(that's bull and I know it cuz the guy who did it ....office spotless....he threw everything away and got everything out of a sealed new package but it's still crossed my mind.