5 weeks, 2 days...
The past few days have been REALLY rough, anxiety-wise (thankfully not withdrawal symptom-wise). I've been dealing with (of all the ****ing things) a pregnancy scare for the past few days, which has driven my anxiety to full-throttle, pre-medication freaking out.
The bad news is, it was sucky feeling like this. The good news is, I'm about 95% sure I'm not pregnant, AND, this is the first time I've felt such extreme emotions of ANY KIND for a year and a half.
There are three settings when you're medicated. There's mild amusement, which is the highest setting, generally the happiest you can be. There's neutral, what you generally are most of the time. Then, there's the lowest setting. Depression, anxiety, new horrible feelings you get that you've never had before. It feels so good to actually FEEL something again, even if it is somewhat irrational anxiety.
The weather in New York, where I currently am, is also BEAUTIFUL. I took a long walk outside today, and I'm planning to go to the gym later this evening. I'm eating super healthy, and I have a lot of wonderful things to look forward to. I'm going to visit my family this weekend, my birthday is on the 28th, and in three weeks I'm taking a (well-deserved) vacation to Florida.
You're all in my thoughts everyone, keep me in yours as well!