our logo
Freedom is in you...
You are enough. You are your solution.  
Go Back   paxilprogress > Paxil > Family Support
User Name
Password
Register Moderation Guidelines Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Family Support Paxil affects whole families. This forum is to support those closest to our hearts (spouses, partners, brothers, sisters etc.) who need help to understand and support.

Adverse Drug Reaction Reporting    FDA Warnings    Published Withdrawal Studies    Pregnancy Warnings    Forum Psychology

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-08-2012, 04:37 PM   #1
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
7 months out? What is this?

I don't even know where to start. When on Celexa I wanted a divorce. Then I got off the meds. I wanted a divorce. I wanted to be away from my husband who uses passive aggressive manipulation tactics. I told myself to suck it up for the kids and for the fact that my feelings may not be genuinely my own. I was hoping my love would come back, or even an inkling of it. Every now and then I can hope for our future together, but mostly I go to bed at night dreaming of being on my own away from him. Every now and then, I feel like I love him. 9 days out of 10, I don't. He knows this.
Now, I won't go into all the reasons I want a divorce, but mainly I feel completely stifled being with him. He wants none of the things that I want, he likes to do none of the things that I like, and his only hobby in the whole world is hunting - and I despise it! The hunting he just started several years ago and boy does it make me resent him when he goes off for a 3 day weekend so frequently leaving me with the kids and feeling like I am a single parent. And who wants to have sex with someone who can't be bothered to spend time with you because all of his days off are spent trying to kill little animals out in the woods? At this point, he simply grosses me out. We went to marriage counseling and made our list of "to do's" and none of them have been done - since MAY! I go on vacations separate from him (with the children) because he doesn't enjoy doing the things I do. He sent me snow skiing - without him as an anniversary gift for the 11 years of marriage we have endured! Of course, he doesn't like snow skiing. Now, I get to hear how much that costs and I have to work extra to pay for it!
Okay, so now I've given a whole lot of my reasons! Lol! Got on a roll there...
I am at a loss, so I have come back to you all seeking some or any advice from anyone that may be in my shoes or have been in my shoes. Does this sound like withdrawal? My husband has been fully supportive of me during this withdrawal (even when I have in the past looked him square in the eyes and told him I didn't feel any love for him and didn't know why). Is there anyone out there passed where I am in this process that has made it? My best friend, parents, and husband have all been VERY SUPPORTIVE and wonderful through all of this and they are telling me blaming the meds is far fetched at this point. Any advice? Thanks...
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2012, 06:05 PM   #2
Charlie
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 8,286
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

How long have you been off the meds?
__________________
The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it."

Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens

Charlie

www.ThePaxilProtest.com
Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2012, 06:41 PM   #3
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
How long have you been off the meds?
7 months
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2012, 07:28 PM   #4
Charlie
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 8,286
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

That's what I thought but wanted to be sure. My personal opinion from what you wrote (the words and the tone) I don't believe you're in a place yet to know for sure what you want.

You have to be open to the idea that you could love him and that it could be the drugs that caused you to want a divorce while on them and it could be the withdrawal causing the blunted feelings for him now.

The thing about these drugs is that the last dose doesn't mean everything is back to normal.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do because I have no idea what things were like in your relationship before. I'm just stating my opinion of what I read.
__________________
The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it."

Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens

Charlie

www.ThePaxilProtest.com
Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2012, 07:47 PM   #5
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
That's what I thought but wanted to be sure. My personal opinion from what you wrote (the words and the tone) I don't believe you're in a place yet to know for sure what you want.

You have to be open to the idea that you could love him and that it could be the drugs that caused you to want a divorce while on them and it could be the withdrawal causing the blunted feelings for him now.

The thing about these drugs is that the last dose doesn't mean everything is back to normal.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do because I have no idea what things were like in your relationship before. I'm just stating my opinion of what I read.

Thanks, Charlie. I'm keeping myself open to that possibility. I guess I wanted to hear opinions from experience rather than friends and family that have never taken this drug. We have been living this way for at least 6 years of our marriage. I have decided to try independent counseling to help me maybe obtain another perspective. I don't want to act until I know for sure that I am me. I appreciate your response, really.
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2012, 07:53 AM   #6
lotusflower
 
lotusflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,264
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
That's what I thought but wanted to be sure. My personal opinion from what you wrote (the words and the tone) I don't believe you're in a place yet to know for sure what you want.

You have to be open to the idea that you could love him and that it could be the drugs that caused you to want a divorce while on them and it could be the withdrawal causing the blunted feelings for him now.

The thing about these drugs is that the last dose doesn't mean everything is back to normal.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do because I have no idea what things were like in your relationship before. I'm just stating my opinion of what I read.
Hi Bestisyet,

I agree completely with what Charlie has written. These drugs are powerful. And withdrawal can turn our lives upside-down if we allow it.
My strong suggestion is to stay put until you are reasonably sure that you are
on the other side of withdrawal. Please do not allow your marriage to be a casualty of drug withdrawal. And unless you are being abused, you owe it to yourself and especially your kids to wait this out, imo. I'll update my thread for you and please know you can pm me anytime, joanne
__________________
AKA Joanne

11/25/10 50 mg. zoloft 12/30 45
1/19/11 40.5 2/6 36.5 3/7 32.8
3/29 29.5 4/20 25 5/28 22.5
6/16 20.2 7/7 18.2 7/28 16.4
8/18 14.7 9/8 13.0 9/23 12.5
10/10 11.2 11/6 10.6 11/9 11.2
12/7 10.5 1/1/12 10 2/1 9.5
3/1 9 3/23 8.5 4/30 8
5/29 7.5 6/26 7 7/31 6.5
8/22 6 9/15 5.5 10/20 5
12/17 4.8 (made my own liquid)
12/26 4.5 1/28 4.1 2/4 4.0
February 9, 2013 last sliver zoloft 4.0mg.
February 10, 2013- 0 mg. zoloft
lotusflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 08:02 PM   #7
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
That's what I thought but wanted to be sure. My personal opinion from what you wrote (the words and the tone) I don't believe you're in a place yet to know for sure what you want.

You have to be open to the idea that you could love him and that it could be the drugs that caused you to want a divorce while on them and it could be the withdrawal causing the blunted feelings for him now.

The thing about these drugs is that the last dose doesn't mean everything is back to normal.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do because I have no idea what things were like in your relationship before. I'm just stating my opinion of what I read.
By the way, thank you Charlie- for taking the time to respond. I appreciate very much your input. Thank you.
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2012, 06:46 PM   #8
Charlie
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 8,286
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BestisYet View Post
By the way, thank you Charlie- for taking the time to respond. I appreciate very much your input. Thank you.
I'm glad to help in any way I can. I know it falls short of what you need but nobody here can give you that. Hang in there, I know it's rough.
__________________
The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it."

Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens

Charlie

www.ThePaxilProtest.com
Charlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2012, 09:00 AM   #9
Pat Shields
Ms. Pee Pee!!
 
Pat Shields's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Ft. Leonard Wood/Lebanon, Missouri area
Posts: 8,540
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Write it all down and date each writing. That way you can sit down sometimes and review all the feelings and urges in one place and compare the days with each other over time. If you see an unchanging theme running through what you have written, pay attention. If you see that your feelings or actions about something are constantly changing, pay attention to that too.

I'm not saying do it this way, I'm saying this is what I do. I keep a monthly financial journal in a spiral-bound notebook, what was due, what got paid to whom and when. On the facing pages I write an event/feelings journal. It's easier for me than keeping two notebooks and it is all automatically sorted by month. I can sit and review (as I did last night, going back through the years searching for the average date that forsythia blooms, heralding spring).
__________________
Patricia

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. - Thomas Paine
Pat Shields is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2012, 07:17 AM   #10
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Shields View Post
Write it all down and date each writing. That way you can sit down sometimes and review all the feelings and urges in one place and compare the days with each other over time. If you see an unchanging theme running through what you have written, pay attention. If you see that your feelings or actions about something are constantly changing, pay attention to that too.

I'm not saying do it this way, I'm saying this is what I do. I keep a monthly financial journal in a spiral-bound notebook, what was due, what got paid to whom and when. On the facing pages I write an event/feelings journal. It's easier for me than keeping two notebooks and it is all automatically sorted by month. I can sit and review (as I did last night, going back through the years searching for the average date that forsythia blooms, heralding spring).
Thanks! I actually do this, and can't stand reading any of it because my thoughts have been all over the place. It shows how I really am in no place to make serious decisions. I appreciate you guys. I have felt better since writing my post above than I have in a while. I know it will come and go, but I haven't stayed positive about my marriage this long in a YEAR! knowing that this may not be "me" has helped me gain a different perspective and I am thankful for the reassurance given on this forum.
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 12:03 PM   #11
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusflower View Post
Hi Bestisyet,

I agree completely with what Charlie has written. These drugs are powerful. And withdrawal can turn our lives upside-down if we allow it.
My strong suggestion is to stay put until you are reasonably sure that you are
on the other side of withdrawal. , imo. I'll update my thread for you and please know you can pm me anytime, joanne
I occaissionally go back and read posts to remind myself of the progress I have made. Lotus, thank you for your comment. Your words have been with me since I read your reply.
Quote:
Please do not allow your marriage to be a casualty of drug withdrawal. And unless you are being abused, you owe it to yourself and especially your kids to wait this out
Sometimes we never know how what we say effects others. Your advice really hit home to me because I wasn't being abused and I did owe it to my kids to wait it out. Thanks so much!!!
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 01:46 PM   #12
englishannie
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: coastal Norfolk, England
Posts: 1,822
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

For Bestisyet
You wrote: "and for the fact that my feelings may not be genuinely my own..."
Absolutely right. You've already intuited what's wrong. These feelings are indeed not your own.
They are caused by withdrawal. I know it's hard to believe, but these drugs really can cause this kind of feeling. AND THEY DO. SSRI drugs really do mess with your head at this level. I 'wanted a divorce' too (after 40+years of happy marriage). Fortunately my husband had more sense, thank God.
Please don't act on any 'feelings' while you're in withdrawal. You'll get better. You will heal.
englishannie
__________________
94 days on Citalopram, ending on March 29, 2011. Getting better - can see the edge of the woods now

"Faustus: I think Hell's a fable,
Mephostophilis : Ay, think so still, till experience change thy mind..."
Christopher Marlowe, Dr Faustus, Act 2, Scene 2
_________________________________________
englishannie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 05:31 PM   #13
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by englishannie View Post
For Bestisyet
You wrote: "and for the fact that my feelings may not be genuinely my own..."
Absolutely right. You've already intuited what's wrong. These feelings are indeed not your own.
They are caused by withdrawal. I know it's hard to believe, but these drugs really can cause this kind of feeling. AND THEY DO. SSRI drugs really do mess with your head at this level. I 'wanted a divorce' too (after 40+years of happy marriage). Fortunately my husband had more sense, thank God.
Please don't act on any 'feelings' while you're in withdrawal. You'll get better. You will heal.
englishannie
Thank you for taking the time to reply. You are so very right. What sucks most is how REAL it feels! It's nuts. I've officially been off celexa for a year and 2 months. I never thought after a year I would feel any different because I felt NOTHING for my husband. My feelings and views are completely different! I know I am where I am supposed to be and I thank God for all the good advice from terrible experiences. I can now focus on being a wife and mom that had been missing for a year. I am thankful I have a husband who was willing to trudge through this!!!!
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 05:35 PM   #14
BestisYet
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 32
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

And funny- I never ever even thought of divorce until on the medication and during withdrawal "off" the medication. Just reading my post above sounds like I aleays wanted a divorce. My own mind manipulation...
BestisYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 05:44 PM   #15
scotty
Administrator
 
scotty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: new jersey
Posts: 48,898
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Good for you for sticking it out...and hugs to your hubby. It's VERY hard for a loved one to watch someone they care so much about go through it.
__________________
AKA Laurie

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
MLK
scotty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2012, 04:46 AM   #16
lotusflower
 
lotusflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,264
Re: 7 months out? What is this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BestisYet View Post
I occaissionally go back and read posts to remind myself of the progress I have made. Lotus, thank you for your comment. Your words have been with me since I read your reply.
Sometimes we never know how what we say effects others. Your advice really hit home to me because I wasn't being abused and I did owe it to my kids to wait it out. Thanks so much!!!
Thank YOU so much for coming back to let us know how you are doing.
I'm so happy for you and your family, joannexo
__________________
AKA Joanne

11/25/10 50 mg. zoloft 12/30 45
1/19/11 40.5 2/6 36.5 3/7 32.8
3/29 29.5 4/20 25 5/28 22.5
6/16 20.2 7/7 18.2 7/28 16.4
8/18 14.7 9/8 13.0 9/23 12.5
10/10 11.2 11/6 10.6 11/9 11.2
12/7 10.5 1/1/12 10 2/1 9.5
3/1 9 3/23 8.5 4/30 8
5/29 7.5 6/26 7 7/31 6.5
8/22 6 9/15 5.5 10/20 5
12/17 4.8 (made my own liquid)
12/26 4.5 1/28 4.1 2/4 4.0
February 9, 2013 last sliver zoloft 4.0mg.
February 10, 2013- 0 mg. zoloft
lotusflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:33 AM.


We are not in any way affiliated with Paxil's manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline.
Our ideas and suggestions are anecdotal, inspirational, and they work.

Get the best web browser, FireFox

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.