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General Discussion Open discussion about Paxil, Paxil Withdrawal, successes and progress, good stories and bad, with and without.

Adverse Drug Reaction Reporting    FDA Warnings    Published Withdrawal Studies    Pregnancy Warnings    Forum Psychology

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Old 03-30-2012, 07:44 PM   #26
miriza
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

audrealjade, I had the same feeling exactly...like I did not have a soul and from what I've read it can be classified as part of depersonalization. It's the worse ever, but then I would also say the same about akathisia, agitation, rage and intrusive thoughts. Hang in there. It lasted about 2-3 weeks for me and hopefully it won't come back any time soon.

I know what you say about not feeling love. It's horrible for me since I was always the kind of person who loved very intensely...and not being able to feel love makes me feel like an alien to myself...this has to get better soon because I can't find any reason to live if I don't feel love...
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*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 03-30-2012, 08:24 PM   #27
lmac
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Thanks Junior. I pray to god this is wd, as I've never experienced this in my life and it really feels chemical as it comes and goes so fast. I'm not sure I've even felt depression before at all other than sadness after a breakup or something.
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Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 03-31-2012, 06:56 AM   #28
audrealjade
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Thank you guys so much. It is such a comfort to know that we aren't alone in this. I don't think anything I will experience in life beyond this will be as awful. Hugs to all of you too!
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10mg of Citalopram - 10/2011 to 12/2011
Adverse reaction - DP/DR
Tapered:
7.5mg - 1 week
5mg - 1 week
2.5mg - 1 week
Off all medication as of 12/17/2011

My story ends with finding out I have Lyme disease which caused my nervous system and hormones to go haywire. Currently in treatment.
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"Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going, no feeling is final." - Rilke
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Old 03-31-2012, 10:13 AM   #29
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Quote:
Originally Posted by lmac View Post
Thanks Junior. I pray to god this is wd, as I've never experienced this in my life and it really feels chemical as it comes and goes so fast. I'm not sure I've even felt depression before at all other than sadness after a breakup or something.
Was it you that said you put a DVD on and felt an actual pang in your gut because you knew it wouldn't make you happy? A Friends DVD? I so get that!!!! I would have feelings like an actual punch in the stomach of sorrow and agony and the desire to not be alive, out of nowhere....and even when I had post-partum depression I never had it like that. And I was pretty low when I finally caved in and took meds in the 1st place b/c I'm not a fan of meds at all. And even in the despair of depression I never had that sudden crushing feeling of the soul. Only in w/d.
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2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 03-31-2012, 10:40 AM   #30
lmac
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

It was me who said that about the DVD. What you explain, yes, I get that feeling exactly - and so many times a day (too many to even count). Sometimes I think its this exact thing that keeps me from getting better, or that keeps my panic and over emotional distress up to high levels. Because no matter what I keep trying to figure out for the life of me what this is, where it came from and why its haunting me. There is no logic behind it, it just keeps popping up. Not that I wish that feeling on anyone but omg it makes me feel soooooo much better that others get this exact same thing. It gives me hope and helps me truly believe this MUST be withdrawal and I'm NOT a basket case!! Thanks for sharing!! *hugs*
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Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 03-31-2012, 12:28 PM   #31
Brassmonkey
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Imac--your not a basket case it's the drugs. The only cure is time, and it will go away. It takes a litle work but I have found it best to just ignore things like this when they happen, this is where anhedonia can be your friend and don't give a c**p about the symptoms.

Hang in there better days are a coming.
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1994 started 20mg Paxil,1999 30mg,2005 40mg
2010 pooped out
09/2011 CTed from 15oz vodka a night
09/2011 dropped to 36mg
06/2012 dropped to 19mg (past halfway point)
01/2013 dropped to 11.1mg
03/2013 dropped to 10.0mg
01/2014 dropped to 5.4mg
02/2014 dropped to 4.9mg
03/2014 dropped to 4.4mg

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Old 03-31-2012, 01:24 PM   #32
lmac
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Tom - thank you so much! Reassurance from others who "live" it means sooooo much!!
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Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 03-31-2012, 01:24 PM   #33
aberdeen
 
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Re: Is it anhedonia, crushing depression or DR/DP

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brassmonkey View Post
Imac--your not a basket case it's the drugs. The only cure is time, and it will go away. It takes a litle work but I have found it best to just ignore things like this when they happen, this is where anhedonia can be your friend and don't give a c**p about the symptoms.

Hang in there better days are a coming.
Oh soooo true. I didn't have anhedonia when I was getting those black pangs in the gut, and it was AWFUL. I hadn't even started my Effexor taper yet, so I did not know it had anything to do with the meds. It was almost Christmas, my best friend was visiting, I had been perfectly fine and then wham, anxiety, these depression pangs just hit. Of course everyone, including my psychiatrist loved to say "Oh it's the holidays, your stressed out." Oh sure, and that happens every year....uh no...never had that feeling in my life! Not even when I was *actually* depressed! If there was anything at all to be even mildly distressed about during that period, I would use that to torture myself. I recall one of those moments I was waiting for my 7 year old boy to get a tooth filled and truly felt the deepest sense of self hatred, because "What kind of mother *lets* her child get a cavity? A horrible, neglectful, selfish, worthless mother, that's who. My Mom is right, I'm not attentive, and I don't feed them enough vegetables, I AM DIRT!"
OMG I could *almost* laugh about it now, if it hadn't felt so awful! Of course adding to it is the background realization that this is totally nuts and over-reacting and what has happened to me? It really did stop though, during my eventual Effexor taper. Then it came back a month off Effexor and would come on and off for 4 months. Haven't had it since, and that was 8 months ago now. I just pray to God I don't have that happen while tapering and being off Paxil.
__________________
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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