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Old 04-05-2012, 08:31 PM   #1
lmac
 
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I think my window has ended?

It was a nice 9 days of feeling semi okay with NO panic.
Today I had my follow up with my doctor and my bp was high when I was there. That's the first thing that set me off. I know I was nervous of going because we were going to discuss my back to work plan. BUT just having a bp of 150/100 scared the daylights out of me. I've never had it this high. Of course she said its nothing to worry about because my bp isn't always high but its been fluctuating for months now (I've always had normal BP but in last 4 -6 mnths its been between 120/80 and 135/95). I'm scared now because I've actually lost weight, am gluten free and sugar free for months. You'd think that's good for your health??!!
Then now because of all my wacky symptoms over the past few months she wants to check me for premenopause (I'm 37) and says I may have a hormone issue. Possibly thyroid (my thyroid was checked 5 mnths ago and was fine).
So I've been having panic attacks all day. Trying to tell myself that if I don't stop panicking my BP will get so high I may have a heart attack or stroke. And now of course the panic doesn't want to subside. I've been shaking all day again and cannot seem to stop.
I wonder, is my window over or is this just me now, where I cannot handle panic and cannot stop it. Will stress send me into this all the time now?
Classical panic symtoms all day: racing thoughts, bad catastrophic thoughts, tingling, trembling all throughout my body. Feelings of doom and that this will NEVER end. I'm sorry - I'm discouraged today. Not sure if this is still wd (7 mnth later) or if I have severe panic disorder and will give my self a heart attack over all of this. Or are my hormones unbalanced and is it because of the paxil or stopping it? Sometimes I get so tired of trying to determine all these symptoms but I don't know, do I leave it or get it all checked because then I'm at the doctors daily!!
Of course I can't seem to find a therapist who will actually sit and work on CBT with me and guide me through some so I understand it.
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-06-2012, 06:53 AM   #2
mustangwoman
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Your blood pressure is most likely high due to being in withdrawal and the natural anxiety that goes along with withdrawal. I don't believe this is how you will be. This is withdrawal.
__________________
zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast, severe WD-6 mos out hospitialized and restarted on ssri. Finally learned the problems were from WD.
Luvox 5/08 100 mg
07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg.
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Old 04-06-2012, 07:35 AM   #3
miriza
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

If you had a window then it is definitely withdrawal...7 months is still early for many unfortunately.
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-06-2012, 07:42 AM   #4
paxilgirl
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Another window will come....you are still in withdrawal.
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Put on Paxil for situational depression in August 2003. Was also on .5 mg of Clonozapem.
Started on 10mg and increased to 30mg.
Weaned off during the summer of 2004.
Became PAXIL FREE October 4, 2004.
Completely recovered!!!


When you stop learning, you start dying.
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:37 AM   #5
lmac
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Thanks everyone. I definately had massive panic attacks going on yesterday. It lasted all day, all evening, even went to bed with them and woke up several times just vibrating and ready to jump out my skin. Even woke up this way.
I thought this part of my wd was done as I haven't experience this kind of sheer physical terror for at least a month now. I definately have to work on this health anxiety. So hard not to focus when our body just feels so out of wack and unhealthy. I feel like a walking disease right now. It doesn't feel so good.
I've never been one to want to fast fwd time but I sure wish I could this time. Just to at least a year post meds. Ugh!!
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:45 AM   #6
miriza
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lmac View Post
Thanks everyone. I definately had massive panic attacks going on yesterday. It lasted all day, all evening, even went to bed with them and woke up several times just vibrating and ready to jump out my skin. Even woke up this way.
I thought this part of my wd was done as I haven't experience this kind of sheer physical terror for at least a month now. I definately have to work on this health anxiety. So hard not to focus when our body just feels so out of wack and unhealthy. I feel like a walking disease right now. It doesn't feel so good.
I've never been one to want to fast fwd time but I sure wish I could this time. Just to at least a year post meds. Ugh!!
I get you! Wouldn't it be nice if they could put us in some sort of a coma while our brain heals and then wake up when we're about 75% healed or something?

I was always like that, actually worried that time was going so fast the older I got...now I want it to go FASTER! Thank God I can sleep a good 8-10 hours which cuts the day to about 1/3 or 1/2.
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:17 AM   #7
lmac
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

I hear ya Miriza - of course last night I didn't sleep well but for the most part I've had good sleeping patterns, thank GOD because its been my only peace (aside from cray vivid dreams). I pray that I continue to have this pleasure!! It would be really cool if we could all go to a facility on some tropical island for one year post meds! And the veterins could run it. We could live in the beautiful tropics, have all the counselling we want, maybe a daily CBT class and just lots of fun things to do to keep our minds occupied! Sure would beat trying to live our normal lives while going through this torment. Meh, a girl could dream! LoL
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:45 AM   #8
aberdeen
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lmac View Post
I hear ya Miriza - of course last night I didn't sleep well but for the most part I've had good sleeping patterns, thank GOD because its been my only peace (aside from cray vivid dreams). I pray that I continue to have this pleasure!! It would be really cool if we could all go to a facility on some tropical island for one year post meds! And the veterins could run it. We could live in the beautiful tropics, have all the counselling we want, maybe a daily CBT class and just lots of fun things to do to keep our minds occupied! Sure would beat trying to live our normal lives while going through this torment. Meh, a girl could dream! LoL
It's withdrawal...it really is! Can you PLEASE sign me up for Recovery Island? I wanna come, it's sounds amazing,lol!
__________________
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:47 AM   #9
lmac
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Recovery island! Great name!! Now which veterins wanna come and run it? I sure hope Babs is one of them
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-06-2012, 11:36 AM   #10
audrealjade
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

You poor thing. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Sending you many virtual hugs and prayers. I think everyone on this site should be commended for being so strong in dealing with these frightening symptoms.
__________________
10mg of Citalopram - 10/2011 to 12/2011
Adverse reaction - DP/DR
Tapered:
7.5mg - 1 week
5mg - 1 week
2.5mg - 1 week
Off all medication as of 12/17/2011

My story ends with finding out I have Lyme disease which caused my nervous system and hormones to go haywire. Currently in treatment.
www.sabbaticalsoapbox.com

"Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going, no feeling is final." - Rilke
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Old 04-06-2012, 12:51 PM   #11
mustangwoman
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Yes Imac, you are to be commended. Also, sign me up for Recovery Island!!
__________________
zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast, severe WD-6 mos out hospitialized and restarted on ssri. Finally learned the problems were from WD.
Luvox 5/08 100 mg
07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg.

Last edited by mustangwoman : 04-06-2012 at 12:52 PM. Reason: misspelling
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Old 04-06-2012, 02:30 PM   #12
iwantpeace
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

OMG I'VE TOTALLY SAID THE SAME THING 'please put me in a coma and wake me up in a year'. Also, i'm all in for recovery island. Someone should email a television network and pitch the idea :P Although, i'm not too sure any of them would want to go up against big pharma with a show like that.

i'm going to daydream about recovery island, all of us sitting there, meditating by the sea....eating healthy food.....getting some sunshine....resting in comfy beds with big fluffy white comforters (air conditioning of course)!

Oh, and the Cabana boys of course!
__________________
Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-06-2012, 02:38 PM   #13
lmac
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Iwantpeace - I like your visualization. Wouldn't it really be the best?? And maybe we can play pin the tail on the big Pharma? LoL
I want to meditate by the sea!
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-06-2012, 03:05 PM   #14
iwantpeace
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

Someone call Richard Branson and tell him we're taking over neker (sp?) island for the forseeable future. Also, please inform him that we will need a few of his virgin atlantic jets to get us there.

Lmac, I love it 'pin the tail on big pharma' - I don't think any one of us would miss, and i don't think it's the tain we'd be aiming for
__________________
Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-06-2012, 05:36 PM   #15
chiropteran
 
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Re: I think my window has ended?

It'll happen lmac, hang on tight there and ride it out til you can see over the waves again. Hopefully on the way to this recovery island people keep mentioning... can I come too, please?
__________________
'83-90: Various tricyclics, anti-psychotics, tranqs.
'90-02: Prozac - poopout 2002
'02-10: Paroxetine 40, 60, 80mg.
ENOUGH!
Jun10-Feb11: 80-60mg, 5-12% 6wkly
Feb-Jul11: 60-50, 5% 6wkly
Jul11-Mar12: 50-20, 10% 6wkly
Hold at 20 for winter...
Aug-Dec12: 18-9.5, 10% 4wkly
Jan-Jun13: 8.6-3.7, 10% 4wkly
Jul-Dec13: 3.3-1.5, 10% 4wkly (1 bigger drop to 1.5)
23 Jan 2014 : 1mg
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