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Old 05-03-2011, 01:56 PM   #476
renzagliarobb
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Wow, 15,000 posts you must really be liked on here Oops, make it 15,001

Good luck, Robb
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Old 05-04-2011, 05:46 AM   #477
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hi, Robb! Do you mean 15,000 views? I must admit, I don't really take much notice of the stats, lol! I don't know how liked I am, but I've been here a long time now, due to several failed tapering attempts. Very frustrating, I've spent most of my time on this drug trying to get off it. I haven't posted here for a while, but I'm basically doing okay still on 5.8mg.
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Old 05-04-2011, 05:57 AM   #478
renzagliarobb
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Songbird View Post
Hi, Robb! Do you mean 15,000 views? I must admit, I don't really take much notice of the stats, lol! I don't know how liked I am, but I've been here a long time now, due to several failed tapering attempts. Very frustrating, I've spent most of my time on this drug trying to get off it. I haven't posted here for a while, but I'm basically doing okay still on 5.8mg.
Now that I look at the amount of posts...I'm not sure where I got that number from. it must have been views though I don't know where I saw that number

I just saw that number somewhere and said to myself WOW. I see that many posts or views and think each post or view helps someone like me to get through this mess. I appreciate you long timers. Its been very helpful for me to be on PP and to have a regular give a kind word or solid advice. Thank you & best of luck on this taper being the successful one

Thanks again, Robb
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Old 11-20-2011, 01:50 AM   #479
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

It has been months since I updated here! Things have been trucking along much the same until my latest drop. This winter I had four colds in a row, then a small break and then about a week ago got hit with a yet another cold. At the same time, some depression hit, I thought it was just because I'm fed up with being sick all the time, but now I'm not so sure, could be w/d related.

Lately I've been experiencing a lot of depression, very low mood, low motivation, low energy, feeling very tired, needing extra naps, feelings of futility. Also at times some irritability, emotional sensitivity and tearfulness. It is quite irritating because it is a lovely time of year here, warm sunny weather, the roses are blooming, and I'm not working so I could be enjoying it. Another problem is my DH has suddenly got very depressed, so I've been worried about him and trying to look after him. Seems like we've both hit mid-life crisis at the same time (although truthfully mine has been going on for years now). I've been doing a lot of thinking and going over my life and all kinds of emotions about it. There are also financial concerns because I'm trying to head toward a new career, but he wants to change his now, too. My redundancy money won't last forever, and we still need to sell our beach property, and the market isn't good these days.

The good news is, I seem to be able to observe all this and only feel 90% involved in it so it doesn't completely overwhelm me. I'm putting this down to the Holosync I've been using. I also think the Holosync causes some depression when its working, from my experience with it so far. The other good news is that I have been sleeping very well. I've had a little anxiety at times but only very mild and it hasn't bothered me a lot. I feel like the Holosync allowed me to clear some old patterns and now I've moved onto others.

At times I start to worry that the depressed me is somehow the return of the old me, i.e. I worry that if I ever do get off ADs, I'll be depressed and this is how I'll feel for the rest of my life. The truth is, I have no idea if I'll ever be able to get off completely, and if I do, I have no idea what I'll be like then. I feel like I'm changing all the time these days, and I'm not totally sure what's old, what's new, what's temporary and what will stay.

So my plan for the moment is to stay on 5.4mg for a while longer and see what happens. My hope is that I'll stabilise there without depression sometime within the next few weeks.
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Old 11-21-2011, 03:35 AM   #480
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hi Songbird - our situations and stories are sooo similar. I guess part of that is just down to being at similar life stage.

I also often wonder how much is down to perimenopause too ???

Take Care x
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24/1/11 40mg
4/2/11 37.5mg
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:00 PM   #481
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Songbird and Kizzie - I think you will both do fine once off paxil. I'm down to 2.0 mgs and although I'm not at a place mentally I'd like to be, it is a vast improvement from a year ago. I actually can feel my emotions again, it's exciting and scary at the same time. I have days where all I want to do is stay in bed, but I have to work as well as take care of a home (no spouse or kids). I can only tell you guys I've finally had to deal with upsetting experiences that have occurred over the course of the last 10 years that I ignored because paxil made me "numb". It's been difficult, but I think one day I will be me again, just taking it slow and trying hard not to take all my feelings seriously, which is very hard.

We will get throught this, please keep the faith.

My best to both of you!!

Suzanne
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:19 AM   #482
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Thanks, Suzanne and Kizzie. I've felt better in the last couple of days. Less depression, just grumpy and a bit irritable. Still worried about DH. Another thing I forgot to mention was that while feeling depressed I also had patches of feeling a bit light-headed and dizzy, possibly low blood pressure issues again, which I've had before while tapering. Definitely feeling better yesterday and today. I must admit, I am enjoying not going to work, I have fantasies of winning Lotto and not having to work again!
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Old 12-21-2011, 02:38 AM   #483
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Still struggling with a lot of depression and mood swings. Future still up in the air for both of us re jobs, etc. This has really been a hard drop. Will stay here longer in the hope that eventually I'll feel stable and ready to drop again. The depression is really pi$$ing me off, it is like a black cloud that comes and sits on me and ruins my day. I even had an afternoon nap today to try to escape from it for a while, and I felt better later on. The mood swings up and down are very annoying. I feel tearful a lot of the time and seem to cry at the drop of a hat. The good news is, I am still sleeping very well. I've been sleeping in a lot lately (well, it is the holidays) so I'm very well rested. I've dug out all my Louise Hay and Susan Jeffers books to get back into some self-help work that should help with the depression. Lots of positive self-talk and affirmations should be helpful.
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Old 12-21-2011, 04:21 AM   #484
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

So sorry about the low moods etc but glad you managing to get a good rest.

As I think you know we are both in a similar position with uncertainty over work etc.

Heres hoping that 2012 is a good one for us all.

Hope you and your family have a lovely christmas xxx
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99-01 paxil for PND. 30 & 20mgs
01-11 Withdrawing
Eventual switch to prozac & then anafranil. Bad crashes in 04/06/10

*Paxil equiv.

21/6/10 50mg (20 or 10mg depends who listen to)
13/1/11 45mg
24/1/11 40mg
4/2/11 37.5mg
18/2/11 35mg
2/1/13. 32.5mg
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Old 01-02-2012, 09:21 PM   #485
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

It has been quite a while but since I have been here but I wanted to stop by and see how everyone was doing. I am hoping that the depression and mood swings have lifted and you were able to enjoy the holiday season <3
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Old 01-09-2012, 03:08 AM   #486
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Thanks, Kizzie! Nice to see you back here, WhatIsNormal!

Well, it was interesting, the depression was horrible, but I got a Louise Hay book out of the library, did lots of affirmations and positive self-talk and it went away! What is quite interesting is that I'm sure the depression was a chemical thing, that is, I didn't have any obvious emotional thing going on that would have caused it, but by using positive thinking techniques, it seems I was able to change my brain chemistry! It is amazing how empowering that is!

I dropped again on Boxing Day, and in the last day or two a little anxiety and depression have reared their ugly heads again, so I've been taking the same approach again. It helps knowing that I've done it before and so I'm confident that it works.

Another thing dawned on me, about how the 'old self' comes back as the dose gets lower. I've spent some time agonising about what is the 'real me' and so on. I've realised that I'm not the same person I used to be, and I don't think I'll ever go back to my 'old self'. I now believe I can create a 'new me' that I want to be going forward. It will probably take some work, but that's okay, it will be worth it.

I guess I still fear a 'crash', but by tapering this slowly I'm doing everything I can to try to prevent that, and there is no point in worrying about it anyway. I'm learning a lot through all this and I guess that's really what it's all about.
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Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
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2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 01-09-2012, 04:54 AM   #487
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hi Songbird, You have a great attitude so you will succeed. The amazing part of this process is that 5mg doesn't do much for us therapeutically but we still have to wean off it slowly. Good Luck!

Eileen
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:45 PM   #488
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Thank you, Eileen! Yes, the 5mg area has always been the tough spot for me. And it is amazing how my body still feels 0.1mg drops! You would think that would be such a small drop that it wouldn't make a difference, but it still does.
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Old 02-18-2012, 01:14 PM   #489
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Songbird,
I am glad to see you are doing well. and at 5 mgs now. Good work, girl! I am so proud of you!

I have been avoiding thinking about tapering again. But I have been thinking about taking better care of myself. THAT is one of my issues from the very beginning. So, the saga continues for me. I am happy to be off of any sleep meds and any benzos, haven't had any of either of those for about a year. So, I am hoping to see what I can do about changes.
It's good to visit with you. Take care!
Betsy
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Old 02-19-2012, 10:22 PM   #490
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hi Betsy! Glad you are off the sleep meds and benzos!

I am not at 5mg yet, but have just dropped to 5.2mg. It took about 8 weeks to stabilise properly at 5.3mg. I waited until I was sleeping well and the morning anxiety had gone. I've also been feeling good mood-wise recently. I always seem to know when I feel ready for the next drop.

Last drop the depression was quite horrible, a lot of worrying that was the real me, and so on. I just need to remember it goes away and remind myself next time I'm in the thick of it.
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Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
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2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
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2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 02-23-2012, 10:01 PM   #491
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Heya songbird, just thought I'd say hi - lurked on your journal for a while, I confess!

I do the second-guessing stuff with 'which is the REAL me, drugged-me or not-drugged me' too. I find it really helps to remember that NO-ONE remains the 'same person' for long periods of time - we're all growing and changing and evolving in various ways all the time. So I find a better way to look at it is 'whichever me I am now, whatever that means, it's going to be a BETTER me' because I'm making conscious choices to do the right thing for myself.
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Old 02-23-2012, 10:54 PM   #492
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hi there, fellow kiwi! Yes, it's amazing how depression convinces you it is permanent. The real me is definitely changing a lot recently. Last year after thinking about it a lot for years I decided I really really needed a career change - after 25 years in the same career. The universe came to the party and I got paid redundancy. I'm now back at uni retraining in something completely different (that pays a lot less but hopefully has other rewards). I feel like I'm being transformed into someone new.
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2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg 4 Jul 4.8mg 29 Aug 4.7mg 8 Oct 4.6mg 24 Nov 4.5mg 15 Dec 4.4mg
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:12 AM   #493
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

HI SONGBIRD,

NOW YOU ARE A BUTTERFLY
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????-2012-lortab 10MGS
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2000-2012-paxil 40MGS 30-20,started taper 10/2010
10/2011-15--11/5/11-14--11/27/11-13
12/26/11-11.7--1/15/12-9.5--2/13/12-8.6
3/11/12-7.7mg--4/4/12-6.93--5-7/12--6.2mg--
6/9/12--5.6mg--7-12-12--5.1mg--8-19-12--4.5mg
10/1/12--4.1mg--11/4/12--3.6mg--12-4-12--3.25--
12/31/12-2.9--2/10/13-2.6 3/?/ 1.3-4/15 -0-
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Old 03-21-2012, 12:44 AM   #494
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Been a month at this dose now. No depression this time around but more anxiety, especially in the morning, but it is quite mild. Some mild sleep issues. Skin problems have suddenly appeared, patches of something (possibly psoriasis, whatever it is that runs in my family) have popped up here and there and other weird itchy patches and strange lumps and bumps. Anxiety has eased off somewhat lately, maybe will stabilise in the next couple of weeks.
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2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 04-08-2012, 03:20 AM   #495
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Still not stable, this has been quite a hard drop. I've been under quite a lot of stress and it has really riled up my sensitive nervous system. Almost constant low-level anxiety. The good news is, no depression lately and sleep has been pretty good. I will be staying at this dose for a while longer. I don't dare risk another drop until I'm really stable. The constant anxiety is annoying, but I'm coping okay. Went through a patch where I felt very low in confidence (and there were times when I really missed the self-confidence I had on a full dose of paroxetine!), but then one day it improved. More and more it seems an illusion. Feelings aren't 'real', they can deceive you. I really don't know who I am any more, and I just kind of have to ride with that. I'm finding more and more that I seem to be able to affect my mood (brain chemistry) through my own thoughts. I can choose not to believe the illusion of negative feelings (the doomcloud).
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Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:23 AM   #496
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

You are so smart songbird. I also wait till I am stable to drop. It is the best for me! So glad you are not having any depression! You have been a huge help to me during my withdrawal. I have read through many of your posts because we had such similarities. Wishing you happiness and healing!!!!
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zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast, severe WD-6 mos out hospitialized and restarted on ssri. Finally learned the problems were from WD.
Luvox 5/08 100 mg
07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg.
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Old 04-20-2012, 02:13 AM   #497
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Well, I've now been two months at this dose, and still not stable. Have felt better over the past week or so. The constant underlying anxiety has dropped a lot and is now hardly noticeable most of the time. My diet lately is not very good and I'm finding hypoglycaemia more of a problem. If I don't eat soon enough I feel horrible and then when I do eat, I feel exhausted and need a nap. I've been sleeping and napping a lot, which makes it hard to get anything done. It's better than not being able to sleep, though!
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Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg 4 Jul 4.8mg 29 Aug 4.7mg 8 Oct 4.6mg 24 Nov 4.5mg 15 Dec 4.4mg
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Old 04-20-2012, 11:23 AM   #498
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Hypoglycaemia is such a pain to deal with, I've had it since I was a kid but didn't realise it until about 20 years ago. The six or seven small meals a day plan works quite well for me, but ya gota watch the calories.. I have to pay close attention to the hunger pangs, if I let them last too long or they get too intense it is migrain city.. Luckly it is easy to control with diet.

Wishing you well on your taper.

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
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1994 started 20mg Paxil,1999 30mg,2005 40mg
2010 pooped out
09/2011 CTed from 15oz vodka a night
09/2011 dropped to 36mg
06/2012 dropped to 19mg (past halfway point)
01/2013 dropped to 11.1mg
03/2013 dropped to 10.0mg
01/2014 dropped to 5.4mg
02/2014 dropped to 4.9mg
03/2014 dropped to 4.4mg

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Old 04-20-2012, 02:01 PM   #499
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

I'm glad that you are starting to feel better.
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zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast, severe WD-6 mos out hospitialized and restarted on ssri. Finally learned the problems were from WD.
Luvox 5/08 100 mg
07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg.
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Old 04-21-2012, 01:24 AM   #500
Songbird
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Re: Tapering progress so far...

Thank you!
__________________
Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg 4 Jul 4.8mg 29 Aug 4.7mg 8 Oct 4.6mg 24 Nov 4.5mg 15 Dec 4.4mg
2014 18 Jan 4.3mg
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