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Old 04-08-2012, 08:54 AM   #1
iwantpeace
 
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What the hell?

Ok, so I don't understand anything at all.

I have these horrible tremors and shakes, and my head feels like it doesn't belong to me...I can't describe it...it's not ME. It feels 'weird'.

But, like last night... I shower and force myself to go with my husband to the pharmacy to pick up some tylenol...he then suggests we go for dinner, I cautiously agree.....We end up at a mexican restaurant, and I actually enjoy myself. I ordered a daquiry (instructed the waitress to only put 1/2 shot of rum, she looked at me like I was nuts). After that we strolled through a massive pharmacy and i picked up some tea and some other things on sale...I didn't want to come home. I felt ok. I felt somewhat 'normal'. I even thought - if this was the new me, I could learn to accept it.

it seems when im 'active', the tremors and shaking seem to subside a bit... does this mean i'm causing them in my head?

This whole process is beyond understanding.

Ugh. At least the Fajitas were good.
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Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-08-2012, 09:20 AM   #2
mustangwoman
 
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Re: What the hell?

I'm so glad that you had a good time with the hubby last night! I don't think that your brain is causing the trembling. I do think that you notice it much less when you are active.
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Old 04-08-2012, 09:26 AM   #3
caperjackie
 
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Re: What the hell?

I do not think that you are causing them in your head. However ...... there is a valuable lesson to be learned here, that being that if we 'carry on regardless' we do not notice the symptoms as much. I think that somehow when we focus on them, brood over them, try to analyze them they appear to be more devastating than they actually are (if that makes any sense to you). I know with this tinnitus (which is really quite severe) I have a choice - ignore it and go on with my day or sit around listening to it, worrying over it and generally feeling sorry for myself. 'Tis a bit of a no brainer which choice is better for me and when I am busy doing other things it is nowhere near as noticeable as it is when I am sitting quietly.
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Was on Paxil 20mg for a few years
Switched to Paxil 12.5 CR over 10 years ago
Total time on Paxil around 14 years
2 failed attempts at cold turkey
Tapered for over a year by skipping one dose per week each month
Paxil free since April 14th 2011
Still having withdrawal symptoms but getting better
LIFE IS GOOD TOTALLY DRUG FREE
Supplements - Fish oils, Cal/mag, GABA
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Old 04-09-2012, 08:34 AM   #4
miriza
 
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Re: What the hell?

I am all for distraction. It really does help me not concentrate on my symptoms as much. However, I've found that I end up paying for today's "fun" during the evening or the next day. It's like my brain cannot handle the stress/overstimulation and I wonder if this slows down my recovery

I just need to find a middle ground where I don't over-exert myself but yet get distracted...but when I go out and find that I am feeling better I do not want to come back home and I push myself more than I should
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*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:10 AM   #5
iwantpeace
 
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Re: What the hell?

I hear ya, Miriza.

When I first started to challenge my boundaries, I would get so incredibly happy and elated that I had accomplished being out with the 'normals' (your quote) that I would end up exhausted mentally and physically.

That does get better though. In my opinion, if you're out and you feel good - stay out. Don't run a marathon, but the good will far outweigh the bad. If you need to rest the next day, then fine If you feel mentally a bit down, just keep reminding yourself of the great time you had the day before and that it IS POSSIBLE.

big hugs, and i'm so glad to see the progress you're making. I think it'll be no time until you're up and at it again
__________________
Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:12 AM   #6
iwantpeace
 
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Re: What the hell?

For example. I went out for dinner on Saturday night, then Sunday morning felt ok and went out for breakfast with the hubby. Then we played some ball hockey outside (for a first timer, I must say I was pretty damn good). This morning I feel drained, sore and feel like doing NOTHING.

i know it's because i'm exhausted and that's ok. I'll let my body rest today without feeling guilty or letting the thoughts of 'normal people would be able to do more' get to me...or at least i'll try heee hee.

big hugs misses!
__________________
Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:21 AM   #7
jr1985
 
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Re: What the hell?

I usually feel a lt better after I've been working/volunteering, as it takes my mind off how I'm feeling.
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2006-2009: Citalopram
2009-2011: Effexor
Aug/Sept 11: Effexor -> Mirtazapine
Oct: C/T Mirtazapine -> Effexor
Nov/Dec: Fast Tapered Effexor - w/d hell
5/2/12: Reinstated Effexor 37.5mg
20/2/12: Updosed 75mg
9/3/12: Dropped 37.5mg
30/4/12: 33.8mg
1/5/12: 37.5mg
4/5/12: 35.6mg
19/6/12: Dropped 2.5%
23/6/12: 35.6mg
29/6/12: 37.5mg
30/6/12: 35.6mg
17/7/12: 37.5mg
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:39 AM   #8
miriza
 
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Re: What the hell?

Thanks iwantpeace! That makes sense!
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:01 AM   #9
lmac
 
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Re: What the hell?

I also think that when we go out and do things, we tend to focus less on our wd syptoms. For me, although I go out, sometimes its so painful to get through anything because I have a problem with negative thinking and ruminating. I tend to obsess and it goes everywhere with me. But only the days I'm feeling the great despair is it difficult to get my mind off the bad!!
You did good, keep trying to do things. Even on my better days, I've learned I can only handle so much. Like I compared before, its like we're brain trama patients. Take it day by day and do little by little. Eventually we will build back up to being able to do a packed day full of stuff without feeling stressed (well, more than normal stress).
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Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
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