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General Discussion Open discussion about Paxil, Paxil Withdrawal, successes and progress, good stories and bad, with and without.

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Old 04-09-2012, 06:28 PM   #1
mpcope77
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

(Cold turkey, but not by choice, I just don't want to waste words on the mundane.)

Bottom line is I feel like I've won-or-tied with at least six battles/days out of 11 since I took my last dose.
I feel like I can win this war.
At once Paxil was a life-saver (I truly believe that), but over time it became clear that my [good] qualities were slowly eroding. You know, the personal qualities that separate you from any other jackass.

Symptoms since starting cold turkey withdrawal:
Frequent (yet slowly fading) nausea, zaps, sweating, IBS, nightmares, sleeplessness, anger, frustration, itching, tremors/tightening, and of course unpredictable-uncontrollable-pathetic-man-sobbing Nothing new to any of you, right?!

It is getting better, though, as I am eating well again, I am taking walks, and generally wanting to get out of my cave, and to be among my fellow animals.

Today in particular was significant. Tucson reached the mid-80's, was sunny, and with a nice breeze. I walked to Target about a mile away, and I felt the sun like I hadn't felt it in years. It felt holy, and I'm not religious. I guess I just had a little more hop in my step today. After several days of feeling very uncomfortable/sickly, and at times throwing and punching inanimate objects, I feel like a sea change has begun.

You know...that sea of tears, made of pain, love, anger, regret, among many other emotions, that lives behind your eyeballs. The sea's pressure, welling up so much that you feel your eyes are being exiled from your head. It just takes that one emotional trigger, and the dams are released.

Let the dams be destroyed.

I would like to get into St. John's Wort, and how I researched that it might take some of the edge off of Paxil withdrawal, but I'm done typing for now. I will only say that it has - taken some edge off. I don't care if some of that relief can be attributed to placebo..."Whatever gets you through the night". Right?
__________________
Mar 05 Diagnosed with significant heart probs
Apr 05 PA's start, soon lead to full-blown PD
Nov 05 After months of hell I suck-it-up and start 20mg
Jan 11 After 2+ years of major life changes I start having 'break through panic'.
Dec 11 Up'ed to 40mg
Mar 30 2012 With no job, no ins., and my PCP requiring me to pay (OOP) for an office visit for further refills, I decide to quit COLD TURKEY.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:57 PM   #2
Wld
 
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Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

Welcome! I won't waste words either (lol, I liked that)... there's gonna be a lot of people here telling you to find a way to reinstate your paxil dose. I'll save that for them. Reinstating made my life hell so I'm definitely gonna leave that lecture alone. But all kidding aside, you might want to listen. I'm glad you're winning your war. I think I am too. I'm about 14 days off Celexa. I've had absolutely no physical symptoms which is kinda freaking me out but I'm going with it and keeping my fingers crossed.

I know about that sea of tears living behind your eyeballs. Very eloquently put. Hopefully it'll calm down for you. Take care, and once again, welcome.
__________________
Started Celexa 20 mg. 5/2001
Quit Celexa CT 7/15/2011
AD free for 5 mos.
Reinstated Celexa 10 mg. 12/14/11
Up to 20mg. 12/21/11 sick, horrible time
Down to 10mg. 2/7/12 giving up reinstating
5mg. 2/15/12.
4mg. 2/27/12.
3mg. 3/7/12
2mg. 3/14/12
1mg. 3/21/12
Last dose 3/27/12



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Old 04-09-2012, 08:12 PM   #3
Backtopaxil
 
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Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

Welcome

Some people can get away from it. Others have a difficult time and am not sure what to tell you because of your circumstances. 40mg will not be tapered in days but probably in months. So if asking you to reconsider, I have to realize that some economic sacrifice has to be made and you already explained that it is not feasible at this time. Not sure if a state clinic or charity could assist you.

But for now I wish you a speedy recovery.
__________________
Started April /03-Jul 30/11 10 mg Paxil
2nd Paxil Tapering
Off as of May 28th, 12


"This will take time but it will happen!"
"I've been shouting: it takes at LEAST a year " -- Ariella
"If I am going to suffer, at least I will be Paxil free" -- me!



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Old 04-09-2012, 08:26 PM   #4
aberdeen
 
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Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

Good luck, may you be one of those people who can just stop and get away with little pain, it does happen so you could be lucky! I wish you all the best.
I agree with you on missing the parts of one's self that ear marked us from the other jackasses in the world. Now I just trudge along with the rest of them.
__________________
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-10-2012, 12:03 AM   #5
mpcope77
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

Wld, Backtopaxil, aberdeen,
Thank you for your responses, and I hope you all are doing well. For the first time in many years of being 'hooked on Paxil' I feel like I'm part of a community that understands. Tons of great insight and advice here at paxilprogress.

The folks that have created and built this site should be commended. I have actually been aware of for years, but it's just now that I'm finding it as a place of solace.

There really is no one among the closest (a hand full) of my friends/family that have/can understand my experience. And I'm happy that they can not.

To clarify, during the seven years I had been (I guess I still am really, even if I'm not popping the pills) on Paxil I had a few mini-withdrawals. These were usually due to bad planning where I didn't refill a prescript in a timely manner, or I traveled and forgot to bring them.

So...I knew what I was in for when I went cold turkey. The physical side effects, and the array of emotions were already familiar to me. I didn't go into this blindly.
__________________
Mar 05 Diagnosed with significant heart probs
Apr 05 PA's start, soon lead to full-blown PD
Nov 05 After months of hell I suck-it-up and start 20mg
Jan 11 After 2+ years of major life changes I start having 'break through panic'.
Dec 11 Up'ed to 40mg
Mar 30 2012 With no job, no ins., and my PCP requiring me to pay (OOP) for an office visit for further refills, I decide to quit COLD TURKEY.
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Old 04-10-2012, 12:04 AM   #6
mpcope77
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

Wld, Backtopaxil, aberdeen,
Thank you for your responses, and I hope you all are doing well. For the first time in many years of being 'hooked on Paxil' I feel like I'm part of a community that understands. Tons of great insight and advice here at paxilprogress.

The folks that have created and built this site should be commended. I have actually been aware of for years, but it's just now that I'm finding it as a place of solace.

There really is no one among the closest (just a hand full) of my friends/family that have/can understand my experience. And I'm happy that they can not.

To clarify, during the seven years I had been (I guess I still am really, even if I'm not popping the pills) on Paxil I had a few mini-withdrawals. These were usually due to bad planning where I didn't refill a 'script in a timely manner, or I traveled and forgot to bring them.

So...I knew what I was in for when I went cold turkey. The physical side effects, and the array of emotions were already somewhat familiar to me. I didn't go into this blindly.
__________________
Mar 05 Diagnosed with significant heart probs
Apr 05 PA's start, soon lead to full-blown PD
Nov 05 After months of hell I suck-it-up and start 20mg
Jan 11 After 2+ years of major life changes I start having 'break through panic'.
Dec 11 Up'ed to 40mg
Mar 30 2012 With no job, no ins., and my PCP requiring me to pay (OOP) for an office visit for further refills, I decide to quit COLD TURKEY.
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Old 04-10-2012, 12:06 AM   #7
mpcope77
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

aberdeen,
there is lots of pain. lots of crying. lots of rage, lots of regret. but it IS getting better.
__________________
Mar 05 Diagnosed with significant heart probs
Apr 05 PA's start, soon lead to full-blown PD
Nov 05 After months of hell I suck-it-up and start 20mg
Jan 11 After 2+ years of major life changes I start having 'break through panic'.
Dec 11 Up'ed to 40mg
Mar 30 2012 With no job, no ins., and my PCP requiring me to pay (OOP) for an office visit for further refills, I decide to quit COLD TURKEY.
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Old 04-10-2012, 02:48 AM   #8
jr1985
 
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Posts: 442
Re: Seven-years-Paxil vs. 11-days-cold-turkey.

I hope you're one of the lucky ones. But I also worry because there are people here who have suffered for YEARS after quitting cold turkey. Also, withdrawal isn't linear - I, like many others here, felt okish for about 5 weeks when I was suddenly hit with a massive wave of anxiety. I reinstated but the anxiety lasted for weeks until the Effexor kicked in. I'm not trying to scare you but I think you would know what you're letting yourself in for.
__________________
2003-2005: Paroxetine
2006-2009: Citalopram
2009-2011: Effexor
Aug/Sept 11: Effexor -> Mirtazapine
Oct: C/T Mirtazapine -> Effexor
Nov/Dec: Fast Tapered Effexor - w/d hell
5/2/12: Reinstated Effexor 37.5mg
20/2/12: Updosed 75mg
9/3/12: Dropped 37.5mg
30/4/12: 33.8mg
1/5/12: 37.5mg
4/5/12: 35.6mg
19/6/12: Dropped 2.5%
23/6/12: 35.6mg
29/6/12: 37.5mg
30/6/12: 35.6mg
17/7/12: 37.5mg
Yes, I know it's messy...
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