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Old 04-11-2012, 12:00 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 67
I am so sad

Paxil is literally destroying my life.

After twenty one wonderful years of marriage, it has only taken six months to ruin my life. I moved away from my husband who is on paxil and now live on the other side of the world. I had to leave him for my own sanity. Now, I live in FL and he is in Korea with the military.

He is a shell of his former self. He takes a heavy dose of paxil daily as well as drinking tons of alcohol. To add insult to injury, he has started smoking for the first time in his life.

I left because of my daughters schooling, the political climate in Korea and my extreme unhappiness. We left our marriage at.... we both still love each other and want it to work out...

I have been gone about three weeks and he says he still loves me. There is not much communication. I am so sad and so depressed that I just do not know what to do. If not for what it would do to my children, I would consider ending my life. I do not know how to help this man. He doesn't think he needs help.

I have abandoned him for my own sanity and he doesn't even really care, thanks to the drug. I don't know what to do. In fact, I know there isn't anything I can do and I am in despair.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:04 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 7,918
Re: I am so sad

Hi Shannon,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. If you read around here a bit (especially in the family forum) you will see that you are definitely not alone. There are lots of stories just like yours, marriages and relationships really messed up by one partner's Paxil use. It is ultimately up to the person using the med to see what it is doing to them and make the choice to come off. Sometimes you can help them see what is going on by showing them articles about the way Paxil can cause personality changes. But often the partner does not want to listen or see the truth.

You need to think of yourself and your children at this time ... do you have a supportive family member or friend you can talk to? Or a counselor you could see? This is such a rough time and you need and deserve some support.

Paxil 20mg 1994-2005
2 failed attempts to quit
Tapered Jan-April 2005
Paxil-free since May 1, 2005
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Old 04-11-2012, 10:55 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,147
Re: I am so sad

I'm so sorry. How heartbreaking for you. Wouyld he at least consider a different med or is he completly convinced everything is just fine? I feel like crap on Paxil and can't imagine not realizing it. He might surprise you and come to his senses. You're in my prayers.
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-12-2012, 12:19 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
Re: I am so sad

You are not alone. Going through difficult times while my husband is trying to wean off Paxil. I am sad for you too! It has been a few months since you started this thread...How are things now?
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:11 AM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 67
Re: I am so sad

Things are no better. It is actually worse. He has pretty much just stopped talking to me. I started a new thread, one that I will send to him, if not this one.

It is still so very sad to me. He has, for twenty plus years, been the very best husband and father I could have ever hoped for. It is truly possible that this could end things?

I do blame the drug. I know he will say that he has been fine. He thinks that paxil has helped him and has made him more "mellow". To be, he just doesn't care about anything anymore. Especially, he doesn't care about me. This is hard for me to accept. I have been spoiled. He has treated me like a princess for all these years. Hard for me to understand that I am just another woman out there in the world. (to him)
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