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Old 04-23-2012, 12:56 PM   #1
EssexSeroxat
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Anyone experienced this?

Hi my names Karl from the Uk never been suicidal was put on Seroxat 13 years ago for panic/anxiety etc and they realy helped me. When i tried to come off them i didnt taper i know i should of now after finding this site i experienced these thoughts briefly.Thing is i have been obssesing about it constantly since because i had never had it before and worry i had them thoughts.Thing is i dont think id ever do it because i suffer with alot of what if thoughts and this was one of them i think i have a case of pure o thoughts because ive thought all sorts of what if thoughts in the past.just cant stop worrying i had them thoughts its not me do you think it could be where i just stopped 10mg seroxat looking for reasuarance lol
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Old 04-23-2012, 02:47 PM   #2
iwantpeace
 
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 249
Re: Anyone experienced this?

Yup. I experienced it and it scared the living daylights out of me.

I had NEVER had a suicidal thought before paxil pooped out and then during a cross taper to zoloft.

G-d it was bad, and then i obsessed about it because it scared me so much. 'what if I actually hurt myself', 'what if I snap'. I had other thoughts like 'i should just kill myself because i'll never be better', etc. My mother stayed with me for two weeks to make sure I was ok.

I think a lot of people have these thoughts and they are scary - but please remember that you need to reach out for help when you are having them, a family member or someone else and if it gets very bad a doctor.

Never mess with these types of things. I asked to go to the hospital on one occasion - they sent me home the next day and told me 'it's just anxiety' (and they were right), and when it happened again I just let my mother know and she was by my side until I was feeling better.

Good luck.
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Paxil 20mg from 2001-December 2010
Nov 2010 - 20mg
Dec 2010 - 15mg
Feb 2011-July 2011 - 10mg
July 2011- Sept 2011- 30MG
Sept 2011-Nov 2011- 25mg -17.5mg
Nov 2011- JAN 12: 17.5mg -1.25mg
January 27th 2012- PAXIL FREE
Started Zoloft mid Nov 2011 - currently at 100mg
Feb 8 2012 - Zoloft 75mg
early April 2012
April 11 2012: 62mg - compounding pharmacy - side effects at 75mg not acceptable
April 21 2012 - 50mg - feel much better - staying here for a while.
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Old 04-23-2012, 04:18 PM   #3
aberdeen
 
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Re: Anyone experienced this?

YES, scary!!! Only once, and it was right after coming off Effexor too fast and starting another SSRI. Seems to have gone and never come back now that I'm more stable and tapering slowly.
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2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-23-2012, 04:28 PM   #4
Bilo76
 
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Holland
Posts: 1,643
Re: Anyone experienced this?

Hahah you have kind of a hard dialect in writining for me to understand. But to answer your question: I think about it every day. Because i suffer so much i think if it would be nice to have the pain stop. But i dont think i am ever gonna do that. I still wanna do stuff in life.

If i may give you a tip. And i hope i can put it correctly into words since english isnt my native tongue.
These thoughts you are having are by itself harmless. Nobody dies from thinking about suicide. And the fact that it worries you a lot is cause you are scared. Scared you might do it,..or scared that you will get worse so it actually becomes a real idea. But this is paradoxical. I see this also a lot with people with anxiety. They are so scared they gonna hurt somebody, or scared that they gonna jump out of a window...or i can use any kind of example where people with anxiety are scared to do something they dont want. Scared to lose control.
But this will NEVER happen. Have you ever seen someone scared of heights actually run close to a cliff? Or a child scared of fire actually run towards the fire? Etc etc. We people by our core nature dont do anything that scares us.

I know someone who actually committed suicide. I read his journal that he left. he wasnt scared to die. He wasnt scared of his thoughts. He was in piece with the idea. You being scared of these thoughts is a good sign and properly a sign you will never do it

But this just my 2 cents
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14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
Albert Einstein.
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Old 04-23-2012, 09:25 PM   #5
GatorMajik
 
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Re: Anyone experienced this?

I tapered off too quickly, but I wasn't backing down this time, so I was completely psychotic for the first 8 weeks after the taper. The first 5 days were the worst, I kept blacking out and waking up. I was hearing this loud voice telling me to kill myself, it wasn't something I wanted to do but I felt that if I were to blackout again I might. So I called my father and told him to take me to a mental health facility, and he found me passed out in my living room with the phone still in my hand. By the end of the first day there those thoughts disappeared. Wish I had just gone there sooner, but I probably would have just been placed on another medication, as it were I was clear enough to refuse all medication. I had no previous history of any mental illness and no family history of it. I'm over it now and I'll never take another SSRI. I was encouraged to take this drug initially as something that would just take the edge off of daily life, and I barely survived it. Family member's asked me if I had actually turned into a werewolf during those days, I found out why went I got home, I had destroyed just about everything in that house, and I have no memory of it. I had even torn the door off of my dishwasher, I don't think I could do that now even if I tried.
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Old 04-23-2012, 10:19 PM   #6
SoCalStarter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 154
Re: Anyone experienced this?

I'd always heard that certain anti depressants caused suicidal thoughts in some people, but never gave it a lot of consideration as I've been on these long term and not suffered that.

when I decreased the dosage of effexor too quickly, I had such dark thoughts I got scared. They were just thoughts, but they weren't my own, they were caused by the withdrawal, as odd as that sounds. I couldn't control them any more than the excessive irritability I suffered.

I upped my dosage, and went to a *reasonable* taper(5% for me), and feel 100% better. Thank goodness for those who referred me to this site!
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Old 04-24-2012, 07:05 AM   #7
aberdeen
 
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Re: Anyone experienced this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalStarter View Post
I'd always heard that certain anti depressants caused suicidal thoughts in some people, but never gave it a lot of consideration as I've been on these long term and not suffered that.

when I decreased the dosage of effexor too quickly, I had such dark thoughts I got scared. They were just thoughts, but they weren't my own, they were caused by the withdrawal, as odd as that sounds. I couldn't control them any more than the excessive irritability I suffered.

I upped my dosage, and went to a *reasonable* taper(5% for me), and feel 100% better. Thank goodness for those who referred me to this site!
Me too, always though oooh how scary, how could someone just want to die even if they know the meds are what's making them feel like that? Welll thanks to coming off Effexor too fast, I can now add that to my list of things I wish I didn't know. Thank God you stopped and tapered slower!
__________________
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:31 AM   #8
scrambledeggs
 
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 23
Re: Anyone experienced this?

Yes I too experience the daily battle of telling my self that the perceptions and the intensity is a result of how my brain has been altered by the drugs. For me I find this site, prayer and meditation, and a belief/hope that better days are ahead help me through. The hopelessness and fear that death is stalking can be the most unsettling, although how I perceive my interactions with my partner and friends at times leaves me talking myself out of the paranoid thoughts. I find I remind myself that they are not the people from my past who abused me, although their actions at times can trigger a cascade of memories that initially appear to mimic actions of harmful past relationships, this is today and I am safe.
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Paxil 2001 - 2003 20mg up to 30mg
Effexor 2003 6 Months 75mg
Paxil 2003 - 2009 30mg (tried 40 mg briefly 2009)
08/09 - 02/10 Paxil 25 mg
02/10 - 05/10 Paxil 20 mg
06/10 - 12/10 Paxil 15 mg
09/11 - 03/12 Paxil 10 mg
Paxil Sept. 2011 - March 9,2012 10 mg.
All Paxil was tapered at 5 mg increments
Prozac March 10, 2012 10 mg. (straight switch)
March 29, 2012 bad reaction, directed to discontinue all SSRI's
No SSri's since
Clonazepam 0.5 mg up to 2 tabs daily PRN
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