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General Discussion Open discussion about Paxil, Paxil Withdrawal, successes and progress, good stories and bad, with and without.

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Old 04-24-2012, 12:25 PM   #1
schwanke
 
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Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Hey guys. As is true with a lot of success stories here, many of these people get bad windows shortly after posting them. I am one of these people. I posted a success story about a month ago, and I was feeling the best I had in a really long time. Motivation was back, excitement was back, anxiety was gone, etc, etc. Well, over the last month I've seem to have gone back to my old withdrawal self. Worse than I have been in a really long time, and it's weird because I almost forgot what it felt like. So, I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance here. Is this a reasonable withdrawal pattern? I should expect to get better just as I have before. And I can't wait. But what has been your experience with this?
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January '10 Started Lexapro 10mg
August '10 Stopped Lexapro after 1 month taper
September '10 Went on Zoloft, per pdoc suggestion, after awful 2 weeks off Lex.

Off Zoloft as of 9/30/10
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Old 04-24-2012, 12:42 PM   #2
Quirk
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

To be honest, there is no real withdrawal pattern. I am at 32 months out and am currently in a "wave", meaning that I feel worse than normal and normal is not pre-drug normal. I haven't felt normal for the past 2 years.
So yes, having a wave at 1.5 years is pretty "normal".
__________________
2 or 3 months of Remeron till Nov/Dec 08
August 2009: 4 days on Lexapro (10mg)
Quit cold turkey because of severe intestinal pains
W/D symptoms began 14 days later, lasting several months
Phase II 12.2009: Dizziness, derealization/depresonalization, anxiety, headaches
04.2010: Light headaches, unnormal cold fingertips, weird feelings, light dizziness now and then, anxiety, lightheadedness
45 months out: Still having symptoms, but much better than a year ago
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:23 PM   #3
miriza
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Hi schwanke! Yes, I think it's pretty normal...at least in benzo withdrawal, many times they say that healing occurs during waves, so there must be some fine-tuning going on in your brain. My hope for you is that this wave is very short-lived.
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:25 PM   #4
Bilo76
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirk View Post
To be honest, there is no real withdrawal pattern. I am at 32 months out and am currently in a "wave", meaning that I feel worse than normal and normal is not pre-drug normal. I haven't felt normal for the past 2 years.
So yes, having a wave at 1.5 years is pretty "normal".
Is your DP/DR gone now? I am in that phase now .
__________________
Bilo aka Remco


14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
Albert Einstein.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:31 PM   #5
schwanke
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

I don't know about Quirk, but my DP/DR went away. I think it has a lot to do with an overactive nervous system and anxiety. I can feel it creeping a little bit now that I'm back not feeling so well, but I'm not really stressed about it.
__________________
January '10 Started Lexapro 10mg
August '10 Stopped Lexapro after 1 month taper
September '10 Went on Zoloft, per pdoc suggestion, after awful 2 weeks off Lex.

Off Zoloft as of 9/30/10
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:36 PM   #6
miriza
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Hi schwanke! Can you describe your DP? I've had so many flavors of it that have come and gone, but I still don't feel myself. I feel like some outside force is controlling my thoughts/feelings and sometimes I feel like my voice doesn't belong to me...Is this DP? Did you have anything similar?
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:36 PM   #7
Quirk
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

It is not gone completely, but 95% of the time. And maybe only 1% of the time it is not so nice. So it surely gets much better with time.
__________________
2 or 3 months of Remeron till Nov/Dec 08
August 2009: 4 days on Lexapro (10mg)
Quit cold turkey because of severe intestinal pains
W/D symptoms began 14 days later, lasting several months
Phase II 12.2009: Dizziness, derealization/depresonalization, anxiety, headaches
04.2010: Light headaches, unnormal cold fingertips, weird feelings, light dizziness now and then, anxiety, lightheadedness
45 months out: Still having symptoms, but much better than a year ago
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:48 PM   #8
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Schwanke - I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of a rough time. Although I am only about 8 mnths off, I've read lots of posts on here about waves, even 3 years out. Just curious, after all this time, what symptoms are you experiencing again?
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:51 PM   #9
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by miriza View Post
Hi schwanke! Can you describe your DP? I've had so many flavors of it that have come and gone, but I still don't feel myself. I feel like some outside force is controlling my thoughts/feelings and sometimes I feel like my voice doesn't belong to me...Is this DP? Did you have anything similar?
Miriza - again, we are one in the same! Will this DP feeling of our mind/thoughts being controlled by the negative scary monster ever stop? If someone can just totally reassure me that this WILL go away, that I WILL be able to forget and be far away from these deep dark intrusive thoughts and feelins, I will be able to handle them better. I'm so scared my life will now be dark and scary thoughts all the time now. That's no way to live!!
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-24-2012, 02:21 PM   #10
schwanke
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by miriza View Post
Hi schwanke! Can you describe your DP? I've had so many flavors of it that have come and gone, but I still don't feel myself. I feel like some outside force is controlling my thoughts/feelings and sometimes I feel like my voice doesn't belong to me...Is this DP? Did you have anything similar?
I remember having very similar experiences where I felt like my thoughts weren't my own, like the world wasn't right, like I was walking through a movie. I think those feelings are definitely a part of the withdrawal process, and have a lot to do with the overactive nervous system and the anxiety from withdrawal. I think those things will go away with time.
__________________
January '10 Started Lexapro 10mg
August '10 Stopped Lexapro after 1 month taper
September '10 Went on Zoloft, per pdoc suggestion, after awful 2 weeks off Lex.

Off Zoloft as of 9/30/10
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Old 04-24-2012, 02:23 PM   #11
miriza
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Thanks schwanke for reassuring me!
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-24-2012, 02:24 PM   #12
schwanke
 
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by miriza View Post
Hi schwanke! Yes, I think it's pretty normal...at least in benzo withdrawal, many times they say that healing occurs during waves, so there must be some fine-tuning going on in your brain. My hope for you is that this wave is very short-lived.
Yeah I've read that too. Thank you, I certainly hope that is the case. Was really looking forward to an awesome summer, too :/
__________________
January '10 Started Lexapro 10mg
August '10 Stopped Lexapro after 1 month taper
September '10 Went on Zoloft, per pdoc suggestion, after awful 2 weeks off Lex.

Off Zoloft as of 9/30/10
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Old 04-24-2012, 04:35 PM   #13
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Schwanke,...what kind of symptoms are you having now? Because you say "back in WD"...but you mean anxiety? or zaps..or what? Perhaps i can advice you (i can try )
__________________
Bilo aka Remco


14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
Albert Einstein.
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Old 04-24-2012, 04:48 PM   #14
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilo76 View Post
Schwanke,...what kind of symptoms are you having now? Because you say "back in WD"...but you mean anxiety? or zaps..or what? Perhaps i can advice you (i can try )
I just feel raw. Not sleeping well again, really sensitive to any stress, sensitive to light, head fog, anxiety, not motivated, fatigued, etc.
__________________
January '10 Started Lexapro 10mg
August '10 Stopped Lexapro after 1 month taper
September '10 Went on Zoloft, per pdoc suggestion, after awful 2 weeks off Lex.

Off Zoloft as of 9/30/10
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Old 04-25-2012, 02:11 AM   #15
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

I'm just over 2 years off paxil and in that time i've had 3 bad waves. I'm currently in a terrible one now which is why i'm back on this website. I always come back here during a wave as the people on here seem to be the only people in the world that truely understand what its like.

Mine always seems to be due to an external factor that tips the balance inside my head. My first bad wave was when my girlfriend left me and my dad passed away. My second was when i had flu for a couple weeks and now as i'm getting married in a couple weeks my anxiety has skyrocketed and now i'm in a crazy mess. Its a mad circle of events for me that i have to unlock before i can get better. It goes like this....Something makes me feel anxious...i dwell on it which gives me a tension headache / migrane....this effects how well i feel and my vision (big time, with de-realisation and feeling like i'm just a passenger in my own body)....which makes me constantly anxious....which fuels the bad head even more and round and round and round we go....

I know what i have to do to feel better. I need to break the circle, but its easier said than done when your trying to go about your daily tasks feeling like your in another, anxiety filled, scary world from the moment i wake up until i eventually fall asleep. Each time i get through a wave i almost forget how scary, how soul destroying and how difficult it is to get through each day. Feel like i just want to hide in my bed all day. tough times
__________________
My Seroxat / Paxil Life story
June 2001 - Started 20mg for panic/anxiety disorder
Dec 2001 - Doc took me too fast, too many symptoms. Back to 20mg for next 7 years.
July 2008 - C/T (NEVER TRY IT) lasted 5 days and crashed Back of 20mg
Oct 2008 - Dropped to 10mg tabs, no problems
1st June 2009 - Started liquid form 10mg
21st June 2009 - 9.5mg
Carried on dropping 0.5mg every few weeks.
3rd March 2010 - 1.5mg
2nd April 2010 -Stopped completely
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Old 04-25-2012, 03:48 AM   #16
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SammoUK View Post
I know what i have to do to feel better. I need to break the circle
I find this very interesting Sammo!! Perhaps we can learn from your knowledge. What do you mean wiith "break the circle"?? How did you do that before? Can you please explain,..very eager ear here
__________________
Bilo aka Remco


14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
Albert Einstein.
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:20 AM   #17
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilo76 View Post
I find this very interesting Sammo!! Perhaps we can learn from your knowledge. What do you mean wiith "break the circle"?? How did you do that before? Can you please explain,..very eager ear here
It's an easy thing to say but hard to actually do. When these waves of anxiety come over me they really take over my life completely. I have constant high head pressure, hyper light sensitive, tight chest, feeling that my airways are closing over, massive feeling of unreality that i'm not connected to my body or the world around me.

When i get like this i try everything in my power to carry on my life as normal, i try not to avoid any situation i would normally be in, i even find myself purposefully putting myself in situations that i know really get my anxiety racing (going to the supermarket is always a bad one for me), just for the sole purpose that i can get through it and then tell myself 'well Sammo, it scared the s**t outta you but your still alive!'. I also start on the supplements again, magnesium and passionflower are my personal favourites, and also really try and do some exercise daily. Eat well and get enough rest.

If i do these things over a few weeks i actually begin to get brief spells when i feel 'normal'. it may only be for 30 seconds at a time maybe even less, but enough time that my brain has switched off from thinking 'how am i feeling, how am i feeling now, how am i feeling, how am i feeling now'. When those brief windows of normality appear, they give me encouragement, which i call 'breaking the circle' as its only my anxiety which is making me feel bad which in turn makes me feel more anxious, and these windows appear more often, and more often until the point where once again i feel as 'normal' as i anyone i suppose. it just takes time. And whenever a bad wave of anxiety starts it is soo hard not to slip into the 'i'm never gonna get thorugh this' mindset.

Did that make sense? I ask because my head is so warped at the moment i can't think or see straight'
__________________
My Seroxat / Paxil Life story
June 2001 - Started 20mg for panic/anxiety disorder
Dec 2001 - Doc took me too fast, too many symptoms. Back to 20mg for next 7 years.
July 2008 - C/T (NEVER TRY IT) lasted 5 days and crashed Back of 20mg
Oct 2008 - Dropped to 10mg tabs, no problems
1st June 2009 - Started liquid form 10mg
21st June 2009 - 9.5mg
Carried on dropping 0.5mg every few weeks.
3rd March 2010 - 1.5mg
2nd April 2010 -Stopped completely
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:32 AM   #18
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

I think you described it exactly right. I also have beaten anxiety before and have done it now (anxiety is now not my main problem,..i have depersonalization (i soooo hate that), depression and muscle tension).
I have beaten it exactly the same way as you have done it. You have to go through it. There is no other way. Just accept that it cant hurt you...it really cant.

If you ask me;..i doubt if this is WD you are experiencing. I think WD comes by hormones cycles and not by events from real life. I think (but this is a guess) that this is your "normal" anxiety. If i were you i would go through it exactly like you done before. Just eat/sleep well. Go through your anxiety. Try not to overthink stuff. And important;..walk a lot. To much exercise causes extra stress on the body. But walking will calm your nerves and your thoughts
__________________
Bilo aka Remco


14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
Albert Einstein.
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:48 AM   #19
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Re: Normal to have bad window 1.5 years off?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilo76 View Post
I think you described it exactly right. I also have beaten anxiety before and have done it now (anxiety is now not my main problem,..i have depersonalization (i soooo hate that), depression and muscle tension).
I have beaten it exactly the same way as you have done it. You have to go through it. There is no other way. Just accept that it cant hurt you...it really cant.

If you ask me;..i doubt if this is WD you are experiencing. I think WD comes by hormones cycles and not by events from real life. I think (but this is a guess) that this is your "normal" anxiety. If i were you i would go through it exactly like you done before. Just eat/sleep well. Go through your anxiety. Try not to overthink stuff. And important;..walk a lot. To much exercise causes extra stress on the body. But walking will calm your nerves and your thoughts
That's the way, face the fear!! If you just hide in your safe place you still have to face your demons one day. Same goes for using paxil, it didn't cure anything, only masked the problems!

I don't think mine is WD either really, it just my ability to withstand stress post paxil is low and the anxiety brings back all the symptoms of WD which feel the same as WD but really are just my own cognitive problems. I'll get through though. think what making this time worse is that i'm getting married all i'm thinking is 'gotta get better before i get married otherwise i'll freak in the church'. This puts extra stress on me when i just need to try and chill.

I know what you mean about walking, it does help, i also find swimming or even just floating round the pool helps.

Thanks for chatting to me, chatting to people who understand is also part of my own personal healing process which is why i always come back here from time to time. It reassures me that its ok to feel like this, i'm not alone and i will get through. Thanks mate!
__________________
My Seroxat / Paxil Life story
June 2001 - Started 20mg for panic/anxiety disorder
Dec 2001 - Doc took me too fast, too many symptoms. Back to 20mg for next 7 years.
July 2008 - C/T (NEVER TRY IT) lasted 5 days and crashed Back of 20mg
Oct 2008 - Dropped to 10mg tabs, no problems
1st June 2009 - Started liquid form 10mg
21st June 2009 - 9.5mg
Carried on dropping 0.5mg every few weeks.
3rd March 2010 - 1.5mg
2nd April 2010 -Stopped completely
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