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Old 04-25-2012, 06:08 PM   #1
axis74
 
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Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Does anyone else get there irrational thoughts like "whats the point of doing A or B anyway, we're all just gonna die soon anyway" etc. these thoughts are starting to depress me. Can anyone else list their expirience just so i know that im not alone and that it'll pass?
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:15 PM   #2
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

I've been there, I went through weeks and even months of it at first. It passed, it went away, and it didn't leave any traces, I don't think like this at all anymore. I might have another bad spell still and go through it again but for now I'm fine! I would obsess about my age (this sounds sick when I think about it) and wish I was older than 39 because there's a decent chance I could live to be in my 80's which means I have to at least live another 39 years, which is my whole life over again and I just couldn't handle the thought of being alive that long, much less one more day. Then I'd think, ok, if I get cancer, that would show up by at least age 60 right? So it might not be THAT long until I die...it's horrible horrible horrible, the places our minds can go. It's scary too. But it must have been chemical because I don't feel that way now at all, and I never have before this med stuff either! When it goes away it goes away completely, I can hardly even remember that frame of mind, and I had a brief wave of it for two weeks in February and I already am beginning to forget. It got so bad that I didn't believe anyone else was truly happy either! I'd wonder how anyone could ever think anything was actually funny or worth doing, and having fun seemed so immature and stupid and pointless.
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2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:10 PM   #3
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Yes it all sucks. I totally relate to you regarding the "gee, how much longer do I have to live and will I feel this crappy cuz it ain't gonna be fun." Speaking of irrational thoughts, I took my 15 year old son to see the new three stooges movie this last weekend. I can barely sit through a movie anyway as I am just too agitated. But I just kept internalizing all the fake violence. As a kid I watched the three stooges and laughed. But for some reason every eye poke and hammer over the head just really beat me up inside emotionally. Is that nutty or what. I leave the movie feeling "spent" like I just can't handle anymore. Crazy...
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mid 2010, 10 mg after poopout
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:21 PM   #4
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Quote:
Originally Posted by IMISSME View Post
Yes it all sucks. I totally relate to you regarding the "gee, how much longer do I have to live and will I feel this crappy cuz it ain't gonna be fun." Speaking of irrational thoughts, I took my 15 year old son to see the new three stooges movie this last weekend. I can barely sit through a movie anyway as I am just too agitated. But I just kept internalizing all the fake violence. As a kid I watched the three stooges and laughed. But for some reason every eye poke and hammer over the head just really beat me up inside emotionally. Is that nutty or what. I leave the movie feeling "spent" like I just can't handle anymore. Crazy...
Yep, sounds like me...but I can't even watch cartoons on TV!
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*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
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Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:36 PM   #5
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

I'm getting sick of these thoughts too, especially because I read into them and then get scared and then my feelings become so frightened of the thoughts. I think that's dp/dr symptoms, no?? I was judt trying to explain this again to my husband tonight. That I keep thinking "what's the point, we're all going to di" "why do people even do anything for enjoyment, they're just going to die". Its so scary to think these things, especially when we try analyzing it. I've had this for so many mnths now, I'd like it to end now. I recall now too that I had it during tapering too. It just wasn't as bad but I remember thinking "what is wrong with me"?
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- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:45 AM   #6
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

IMISSME!! Hahah You sound just like me. I have that weird internalizing thing too. I never had it before this but like you said I'll go watch and for some reason the special affects are that much more loud and that much more violent to me then I'll go home and it will swirl around in my head for days. Its such a weird phenomenon.
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:53 AM   #7
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Quote:
Originally Posted by axis74 View Post
Does anyone else get there irrational thoughts like "whats the point of doing A or B anyway, we're all just gonna die soon anyway"
Well it is true what you are saying lol. Even if we now throw a bomb on whole europe;..in 1000 years nobody gives a !#@%.
But the point is;..those kinda thoughts dont help and wont improve your way of living. But they are not irrational thoughts.
I also have them, but try to talk myself into a more positive way of thinking. But its hard.
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14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:54 AM   #8
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Quote:
Originally Posted by axis74 View Post
Does anyone else get there irrational thoughts like "whats the point of doing A or B anyway, we're all just gonna die soon anyway" etc. these thoughts are starting to depress me. Can anyone else list their expirience just so i know that im not alone and that it'll pass?
everything passes.

when i get like this i find watching comedy helps me.
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Paxil History:
20mg - April 1997
0mg - Summer 1998
30mg - October 1999
20mg - October 2002 - July 2011
20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper)
CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg
Back on 10mg - August 2012
Staying on 10mg - for the time being.
Pleased i am on half my original dose.
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:59 AM   #9
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Quote:
Originally Posted by axis74 View Post
Does anyone else get there irrational thoughts like "whats the point of doing A or B anyway, we're all just gonna die soon anyway" etc. these thoughts are starting to depress me. Can anyone else list their expirience just so i know that im not alone and that it'll pass?
Funny axis 74.. I was thinking the same thing today. "what's the point, we all die anyway. If I die now, my family will be sad, and sorrowful, but, they will die too, and their sorrows will end when they die." Or I go thinking " Nah, can't die while my grandma is alive, my sis, my ma, my dad is alive, since if I die before them, they will be sad. so let's just wait until they all die, then i'll be safe to die. let's just wait the time out. " Or. "what's the point if we're all gonna die anyway. the point of trying things, getting out there, loving, feeling, doing, speaking, listening," all this not happening anyway due to anhedonia, and all i do now is "pretend" to look normal. and a functioning human being.. uh oh my zolpidem is slowly kicking in so excuse my sloppy writing... I prefer the 5mg XR, works faster with better euphoria/dream-like state than the 6.25mg CR.. haha.. I'm doped..
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October 2009 Started taking Lexapro 20mg regularly
December 2010 Cold turkeyed from 10mg Lexapro
March-April 2011 Started noticing bad symptoms
December 2011 Realized all the bad symptoms were due to withdrawal, found PP and Drugs.com
April 2012 Better than I am 1 year ago but with no emotions and lingering symptoms
October 2012 A small but definite shift experienced, still progressing

Summary Was on Lexapro for 14 months, Cold-turkeyed, Now Month 22 since last dose.
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Old 04-26-2012, 12:38 PM   #10
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Oh yes I was the queen of this thinking for a year!! It would not let up but I had some good windows the last month of so..... I never used to have these horrible thoughts before the drug so I know it's not me. I used to think how can all these people be happy when we are all young to die so who cares. Also I used to think that I would be happy if I did not live to be 80 years old because then I would have less time to suffer..... Scary stuff !!
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On 5 mgs Lexapro for 3 years due to stress.
Last pill: 03/24/11
Still Dealing with the Following:
Physical Symptoms: Totally GONE (except I am still unable to lose all the weight but could be because i'm pushing 40)
Psychological Symptoms:
Anhedonia: 60% Improved
Motivation: 70% Improved
Anger/Irritibility: 70% Improved
Insomnia: gone, sleep all night now-most nights.
Sense of Humor: Slowly returning
Now wicked PMS that I did not have before meds
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:19 PM   #11
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Re: Feelings of doom and gloom? Starting to depress me

Yes the hopelessness that rears up every once and a while is terrible. I've never experienced this degree of irrationality before. I find that this site and the experience of others helps me through. I tell myself it is the effect of the meds and my brain re-adjusting to the absence of the SSRI's.
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Paxil 2001 - 2003 20mg up to 30mg
Effexor 2003 6 Months 75mg
Paxil 2003 - 2009 30mg (tried 40 mg briefly 2009)
08/09 - 02/10 Paxil 25 mg
02/10 - 05/10 Paxil 20 mg
06/10 - 12/10 Paxil 15 mg
09/11 - 03/12 Paxil 10 mg
Paxil Sept. 2011 - March 9,2012 10 mg.
All Paxil was tapered at 5 mg increments
Prozac March 10, 2012 10 mg. (straight switch)
March 29, 2012 bad reaction, directed to discontinue all SSRI's
No SSri's since
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