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Old 04-27-2012, 08:09 AM   #51
aberdeen
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhondaj View Post
I'm having such a bad morning I wish all this would stop I woke up with anxiety threw the roof again I just wanna cry I fixed my son breakfast n layes back down with that scary feeling in the pit of my stomach
I wish I had a magic wand so i could erase this for you, and everyone else who gets that. It's such a horrible thing, it ruins your whole day and makes it incredibly LONG because you can't even think about anything else. It even ruins your evening because you know what's coming when you wake up. I pray it goes away for you soon, it sucks, I know.
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2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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Old 04-27-2012, 08:44 AM   #52
babs
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Here is a link to a thread I started when I was in the thick of withdrawal (had just stopped Paxil):

http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=11163

I thought it might help some of you who are in misery to see that us veterans went through it too, and came out of it okay. And by the way, there are numerous threads just like this one that I posted throughout my first year and after. Every time I had a bad spell I thought it was the end of the world and nobody convince me otherwise. And then it lifted. It will end for you guys too!
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Paxil 20mg 1994-2005
2 failed attempts to quit
Tapered Jan-April 2005
Paxil-free since May 1, 2005
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Old 04-27-2012, 08:49 AM   #53
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

So sorry you're having another bad anxiety filled morning Rhondaj, just know this WILL pass. One thing I finally learned was that its just chemically induced so there is nothing I could do at the time but that it would pass so I was finally able to just live it it and go about my day. I know so much easier said than done but we get so good at thinkingourselves into quite a fright over it!!
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Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 08:52 AM   #54
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Thanks Babs!! This stuff ALWAYS helps!
* and everyone, I did go to school, my grammar and sp is NOT this bad, its my BlackBerry I use and it lags and skips letters etc!! Just sayin.....
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:10 AM   #55
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

OMG I just dragged myself out of bed I feel so depressed and alone right now I hope this feeling passes soon.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:20 AM   #56
miriza
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Babs thank you for sticking around and reassuring us. It seems never-ending but knowing that it all goes away gives us hope. Your symptoms were mostly psychological right? That is the case for me.
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:42 AM   #57
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Rhondaj - find forcing myself to get out and do something helps. It may not seem at the time, even though it can be excruciatingly painful to do but it passes time and eventually becomes easier.
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:45 AM   #58
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Yes it's soo true I'm up and moving around and I feel so better.
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Old 04-27-2012, 11:57 AM   #59
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Yaay first meal I cooked in months I'm proud of my self and I feel like all my energy is gone well atleast I don't spend the whole day in the bed but is it normal to feel so exhausted like this?
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:10 PM   #60
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

YaY Rhondaj, that's great!!
Exhaustion is HUGE in wd. At least it was for me. It always surfaced for me especially after my nerves calm down a bit (so after 3 days of staright panic attacks). Anxiety really does suck the nutrients out of you.
Enjoy your meal! I never feel like cooking anymore. Its become a huge chore. My family usually eats what they can find. Cooking is also creepy and scary for me. I have NO idea why. Once in a while when I feel good, I get the urge to make something.
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:27 PM   #61
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Yea it took a whole lot to cook everything feels different during withdrawal but thanks meal wasn't to bad
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Old 04-27-2012, 12:58 PM   #62
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Weird, I have the oppositw. I find cooking relaxing. So I cook for everybody. I make cupcakes and pies. And also normal meals. And my own icecream. I can't eat it cause fat and sugar upsets me now, so I give it away. My sister has gained 8 pounds since I am in wd
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14 years on Paxil 20 mg cause of a bad anxiety disorder (social anxiety, agoraphobia)
2011 Oct 16th: Cold turkey stop Paxil cause of poopout and switch to lexapro 15 mg. Hell started. Tapered lexapro. Tapered oxazepam. Med-free for 16 months. Now on Anafranil (clomipramine)


"....We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It can not command, only serve..."
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Old 04-27-2012, 01:03 PM   #63
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Wow i need you to come put 8 pounds on me I'm trying to gain weight smdh
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Old 04-27-2012, 01:31 PM   #64
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

It's great having you guys u don't know what I would do with out this place. It really helps to know your not alone
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Old 04-27-2012, 03:34 PM   #65
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by miriza View Post
Babs thank you for sticking around and reassuring us. It seems never-ending but knowing that it all goes away gives us hope. Your symptoms were mostly psychological right? That is the case for me.
Yep, it was almost entirely psychological for me. My only physical ones were a little dizziness, queasiness and loss of appetite. I would have gladly traded my overwhelming depression and anxiety for some physical symptoms.
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Paxil 20mg 1994-2005
2 failed attempts to quit
Tapered Jan-April 2005
Paxil-free since May 1, 2005
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Old 04-27-2012, 03:47 PM   #66
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

I too would gladly trade all these psychological symptoms for some physical ones as well
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 04:19 PM   #67
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

I hate waiting for hubby to get home he would take forever on a day that I cooked. Huh
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Old 04-27-2012, 04:39 PM   #68
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

LoL. Doesn't it always happen this way??
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:47 PM   #69
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Yes huh he finally made it home he better be hungry!
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Old 04-27-2012, 07:30 PM   #70
miriza
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Yes, yes, babs! I'd rather trade in some of my mental ones for physical ones any day. I've had about 10 physical ones but they've been mild and come and go...The 'worse' one has been urinary retention but it serves a purpose which is to remind me that it's all withdrawal, not me going insane.
__________________
*Poly-drugged since May 2011 (14 meds in 4 months-paradox. reactions to all). From mild anxiety to almost psychosis on meds. IT IS THE MEDS, NOT ME!
*Elavil:
75 mg -> 37.5 (12d)
Imipramine:
37.5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,10/08/11): akathisia!
5 mg -> 0 (1 mo,11/29/11)
Now in w/d hell and missing my old self.
Please go to http://www.askapatient.com and leave a review of your med(s) and w/d experience.
miriza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2012, 07:32 AM   #71
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Y'all these mornings are killing me
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Old 04-28-2012, 07:44 AM   #72
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

"Its just wd, its just wd". Keep reminding yourself and try to go about your day!!
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-28-2012, 04:38 PM   #73
Rhondaj
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Today I felt really sick at times my chest feels heavy and u just feel tired and weak it feels like this drug is made to keep you n misery till you break I hate this I really do I try n just tell myself it's withdrawal but I hate it
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Old 04-28-2012, 05:02 PM   #74
lmac
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

Rhondaj - that's a very true explanation. It does feel like its out to get you and wants you to break!! Show it you're stronger and you'll get through it. We've all been there and/or still are. I can totally reassure you, I was in fetal position for almost 3 mnths of sheer torture and I'm no longer there. I still get a lot of that despair. Its crushing but you can tell its totally chemical. Hang on to that, try to accept it for what it is and then do anything to keep you distracted. Funny shows/movies helped me and still do. Not always gets my mind off but I found sometimes it distracted enough that I forgot what was going on even for 5-10 minutes at a time
__________________
Lmac
- 1998-2002: Celexa 20mg
- 2002-2010: Paxil 20mg
- 2009 - 20-0 mg paxil in 5 mnths(with prozac)
- 2009 (Dec): reinstated after 4 mnths off (crash)
- 2009 Dec -2010 Nov: Paxil 20mg
- 2010 Nov: switched to Zoloft 50mg (Paxil poop)
- 2011 Mar: tapered Zoloft (5.5 mnths)
- March: 37.5mg for 2 weeks
- April: 25 mg for 2 weeks
- April: 12.5mg for 18 weeks
AD free since Sept 4th, 2011
- Feb - March 2012: Crashed
- May 2012 - Finally seeing SOME real windows
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Old 04-28-2012, 05:21 PM   #75
aberdeen
 
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Re: despair/dark/scay thoughts... learned behaviour or wd HELL??!!

I've been there too and it has passed. I had it strong for 5 months straight, then a couple of months, then just a few weeks, each time I have a wave of bad anxiety from w/d, it lasts less and less. My last wave was only about a week and a half long. I'm not 100% right now, and have a bunch of crappy symptoms but anxiety is NOT one of them right now!!
__________________
2 Timothy 1:7: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2005-2010 Effexor XR 112.5mg-262.5mg for PPD
June-Dec 2010 Poop-out (crash)
3 month cross taper off Effexor onto 40mg Cipralex, switched to 20mg Celexa, switched to 20mg Paxil
Nothing helped except waiting 7 months to stabilize on Paxil then starting to taper:
Oct'11 to Nov '12 20mg-10mg
March'13 to Feb'14 9mg -4mg
Feb 7/14-4.0mg
April 1/14-3.6mg
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