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Family Support Paxil affects whole families. This forum is to support those closest to our hearts (spouses, partners, brothers, sisters etc.) who need help to understand and support.

Adverse Drug Reaction Reporting    FDA Warnings    Published Withdrawal Studies    Pregnancy Warnings    Forum Psychology

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Old 03-30-2009, 01:51 PM   #51
Katesmom
 
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LCrawford67 View Post
Now, the every other day thing - NOT a good idea! The key is consistent, daily dosing.

Maybe you can at least convince him of this.
I couldn't agree more with this, and I'm speaking as someone who did the every other day thing. He might be able to get away with going fast. I hope so for both of your sakes. But, every other day dosing is something else altogether. The half life of paxil is too short for that. Try to convince him to go to 2.5mg daily. Honestly, he would be better off quitting than doing the rollercoaster dosing.
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:09 PM   #52
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

THanks you guys, that really is a big help. I will try and convince him to go to 2.5 instead of every other day. Why don't dr.s know this??? Somebody should pay US for going through this!
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:30 PM   #53
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
THanks you guys, that really is a big help. I will try and convince him to go to 2.5 instead of every other day. Why don't dr.s know this??? Somebody should pay US for going through this!
Amen to that one sista !!!!
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Old 03-30-2009, 07:59 PM   #54
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Wow Lauren, your going through a lot to be getting ready to have a baby!
I think I told you before that I too left my husband and I was only gone for a week. I wanted him to tell me that he missed me and wanted me to come home. He never did but I came home anyway. You may find that you will do things you never thought you would do. But...I do wish I had stuck it out until he missed me. He has never shown any remorse for anything that he put me through during that time and I, a year later am still having trust issues.

Only you will know if you should go back home, but make sure he wants you there!! I know it's hard for him to be himself while in the middle of his paxil situation, but you wont get what you want if you don't stand up for yourself. Believe me, I know. My husbands phone is still locked a year after I discovered some text messages from his female co-worker *friend*. I always wished I would have stuck to my guns and made him unlock his phone and tell me he missed me and wanted me to come home. I always have it in the back of my mind that the only reason I'm here is because in his heart he knows it's the right thing to do, but I dont always know that it's what he wanted.

This might not have helped you any at all but do know that I'm thinking of you and know exactly how you are feeling.

Take care of yourself right now and good luck on convincing him to drop slower, he really should but don't get your hopes up that he will.
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!
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Old 03-31-2009, 11:22 AM   #55
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibby View Post
Only you will know if you should go back home, but make sure he wants you there!! I know it's hard for him to be himself while in the middle of his paxil situation, but you wont get what you want if you don't stand up for yourself. Believe me, I know. My husbands phone is still locked a year after I discovered some text messages from his female co-worker *friend*. I always wished I would have stuck to my guns and made him unlock his phone and tell me he missed me and wanted me to come home. I always have it in the back of my mind that the only reason I'm here is because in his heart he knows it's the right thing to do, but I dont always know that it's what he wanted.
Wow, i am sorry that he still locks his phone. Have you tried telling him that it hurts your feelings that he feels he needs to hide stuff from you?

That would be it for me- it's the trust that bothers me the most. If he has nothing to hide, then don't lock the phone. An honest marriage should have no secrets! I have been gone now 6 days. I ignored his calls a couple times and he texted me out of the blue just asking if I was okay, which I just told him I was fine. He asked when I was coming home and I said I didn't know when or if I was, and that I was happy and relaxed here. I hope that scares him a bit and makes him realize he better get his **** together. I really am happy here, I have family to take my mind of him and paxhell, and I feel the most relaxed that i've been in a long time. I haven't cried since Saturday (well, that was only 3days ago) but still! At our house he was a constant upset to me and I was always hurt by his rudeness and then feeling sorry for myself for being pregnant and letting him do that to me.

NOW i feel stronger and am excited about this monster growth in my belly that doesn't let me sleep!! I will be going home a week from today since I have a dr. appointment. I can already see changes in him over the phone, and he says he feels more normal every day. We will see. But I am not going to get upset about it if he is just the same- it will be his loss! I will have TONS to do at home, i'm sure. Have to get the nursery ready and beat some cats into shape!! haha
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Old 03-31-2009, 12:16 PM   #56
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I agree that you should be able to completely trust him before you go home. If he loves you and wants to make the marriage work then he will unlock the phone and will stop communicating with that other woman. I hid all sorts of stuff from my husband because I obviously didn't want him to see it. I don't do that now because I now have enough respect for him to not talk to the people that I shouldn't be talking to. People who have nothing to hide have nothing to fear. There is a reason for him locking the phone.
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Old 03-31-2009, 03:43 PM   #57
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I totally agree on the phone deal, it's just that we went through so much hell a year ago and everyone tells me that when he is completely paxil free he will realize the things he did and my hopes then are that he unlocks the phone. I was never a snooper or anything of that sort until he planted the seed in my head that I needed to check into things and I found out that your gut instinct is usually right.

Anyway, I hope everything can work out for you and you sound like you've got it together right now. Also things may be better for you after the baby gets here because your hormones will get back where they should be and you may not be so sensitive to his actions and be able to really stand up for yourself! Hope the Dr. appt. goes well and keep us updated on how things are going for you!!
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
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Old 03-31-2009, 03:59 PM   #58
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

But it has to be his choice to change and he has to want to get better. You cannot force him to see how he is acting. I stopped hiding and locking my phone when I realized that I was not acting like myself. He has to make the change - you can't do it for him.
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Old 04-02-2009, 05:31 AM   #59
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Wow Lauren. So much you are going thru. I have no specific advice but just encourage you to take good care of you and bubs and stay safe.

Keep posting here too. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
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1988-97: Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic Attacks
1997: Comm. Paxil( Aropax) 60 mgs !
Numerous attemtps to stop. mainly C/T
2002: My youngest born 2 months prem. whilst on a "safe" dose paxil 20mgs !!!
8th Sept.2008 FOUND PP
Several attempts to taper; some too quick; reinstate several times: focus on tools to assist life paxil free eg CBT
APRIL: 2013 PAXIL ( Aropax) Free.
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Old 04-02-2009, 08:10 PM   #60
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AussieGirl View Post
Wow Lauren. So much you are going thru. I have no specific advice but just encourage you to take good care of you and bubs and stay safe.

Keep posting here too. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Thanks, that is so nice! You guys are just so awesome and the support is neverending! I love it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scotia21 View Post
But it has to be his choice to change and he has to want to get better. You cannot force him to see how he is acting. I stopped hiding and locking my phone when I realized that I was not acting like myself. He has to make the change - you can't do it for him.
How long after you stopped taking Paxil did you realize this?? I am so curious to know if all of this much needed realization will happen once he is finally not taking anymore Paxil at all??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibby View Post
I totally agree on the phone deal, it's just that we went through so much hell a year ago and everyone tells me that when he is completely paxil free he will realize the things he did and my hopes then are that he unlocks the phone. I was never a snooper or anything of that sort until he planted the seed in my head that I needed to check into things and I found out that your gut instinct is usually right.

Anyway, I hope everything can work out for you and you sound like you've got it together right now. Also things may be better for you after the baby gets here because your hormones will get back where they should be and you may not be so sensitive to his actions and be able to really stand up for yourself! Hope the Dr. appt. goes well and keep us updated on how things are going for you!!
Thank you! I hope your husband unlocks that phone of his real soon and realizes how wrong it is to keep a secret. Even something so petty. It's ridiculous.

As far as I go, I am still at my parents; going on 9 days. If I ignore him then he texts me and asks how my day was, but I finally had to tell him that I didn't want this fake concern or his obligation to ask me how I am. He said he would let me know when he found his feelings for me. I guess i'm just waiting for that. I will be here another 5 days and then I have to go home for my dr appointment. He doesn't know this- hopefully if I dont talk to him the rest of the time he will let me know SOONER whether or not he misses me and wants me to come home.


we will see....
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Old 04-03-2009, 07:59 AM   #61
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Do you know what dose he is on now and whether or not he is taking it every day?
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Old 04-03-2009, 04:57 PM   #62
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Right now he is at 5mg every other night per his dr.

Good News though! He left a voicemail last night and I got it this morning. He said he is starting to think the way he thought prePaxil and likes it. He is feeling more himself and loves it. He said he is now starting to understand all you guys' stories i've been reading to him (whereas before he used to think all the coincedences had nothing to do with him). He also said he felt like a different person and didn't understand why. Each day he is feeling more and more himself and feeling much better. He does get some anxiety but i think the better feelings even that out for now. He does feel sad/depressed along with the anxiety but understands its because he is coming off the drug. Overall I was very pleased he called me- especially since hours before I asked him not to contact me if he felt obligated to ask how I was. I just wanted him to let me know when things changed for him. He did say he was thinking about me and the way he was talking on the phone sounded like the old him. He didn't sound arrogent and empty. I will update as things change....I am just really happy that he said he knows somethings that he did were wrong. I still think he has a ways to go.

we will see!!

My mom bought me a 1-hr full body prenatal massage...i've never had a massage before....it was nice!!!! So overall, feeeling MUCH BETTER!!!! Thank ALL OF YOU GUYS for your neverending support.
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Old 04-03-2009, 08:15 PM   #63
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I'm glad to hear of your progress. And, yep, massages are VERY good! Drink lots of water after, though!
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Old 04-04-2009, 03:09 PM   #64
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Great to hear good reports and glad you enjoyed the massage!!
Keep your head up high and take care of yourself
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!
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Old 04-05-2009, 11:34 AM   #65
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren,
I just have to say; while reading what you are going through (especially 8 months pregnant) and what Gibby has and is still going through, what comes to mind is how INCREDIBLY STRONG you are AND how incredibly loving and devoted you both are.

I wanted to tell you this in case you donít realize it because you are in the thick of it and, Iím sure, in a lot of pain. To have to learn all of this stuff about Paxil, to try to explain what youíve learned, to give your husbands the benefit of the doubt, to fight with doctors, to trust without much encouragement (and sometimes blame); you deserve Medals of Honor!

Whether you move out or stay, youíre still doing more than many people would do for a spouse; trying to understand and find answers that seem so unbelievable.

Also, I think youíre being really smart the way you are handling things too.

Please donít blame yourself anymore (or let him blame you) because you encouraged him to talk to the Dr. and he got on Paxil. You had no way of knowing. Look how ignorant the Dr. still is.

I sincerely hope one day SOON your husbands realize how extremely lucky they are. You have put up with so much. I do believe that it is the drug that has caused this change in behavior but that doesnít take away the pain youíve had to endure.

Regarding youíre last post about your husbands progress and realizations; Iím worried that if he starts doing every other day dosing, his emotions will become a roller coaster and youíll have one day like this and the next totally opposite. I only say that because I know if youíre not prepared for that, it could blindside you which could be devastating.

Hereís a link to a board with over 250 similar stories: Itís called: Marriages destroyed by SSRI's/SNRIs.
Maybe your husband would read them? Many of the people were happily married for 10-20 years before SSRIís totally changed one spouseís whole personality. When you read them itís impossible to blame anything besides the drug. There are also a few stories from remorseful spouses that had no idea what they were doing until completely off the drug.
http://www.topix.net/forum/drug/effe...I2UR28DFD3N759

Personally; I didnít have any behavior changes like promiscuity or drinking etc. but I lost my personality and I had no real emotions. I feel like my kids were without a real mother with a real emotional connection to them. I had no idea until several months off the drugs. No clue that I wasnít acting perfectly normal.
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Old 04-08-2009, 10:26 AM   #66
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

THanks for that, but all I really want is my husband back. So far he is starting to feel like the old him, but one thing is missing. Feelings for me. He doesn't miss me, doesn't even feel like what we had before was that great. I am pretty much broken hearted every day. I don't know what to do. How can things be so much better 8 months ago, and so **** now? Can Paxil completely take away feelings for someone that you once loved? Are those feelings just gone for good?? I have no idea. I just want to cry for days, I am so upset. This is the worst thing I have ever been through.
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:55 PM   #67
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

If the tapering as outlined in your signature is correct...the missing every other day can cause a lot of issues with the bravest of souls.....he is in and out of cold turkey...his poor brain is screaming and he is not listening to it....

Go to every day taking 5mg....in two to three weeks I bet you see some improvement....
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:57 PM   #68
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

just read post above where you say his doctor has him on the skipping every other day.....tell his doctor to get educated on this....
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Old 04-08-2009, 04:28 PM   #69
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I agree with Homer, get him on 5mg every day!!!!!!!!!!

And the answer to your question...Can Paxil completely take away feelings for someone that you once loved? Are those feelings just gone for good??
This is from my experience with my husband!

Yes! Paxil can take those feelings away and make them truly believe that you never did make them happy. They somehow forget the happiness that you once shared and it sux because you know how happy you once were together and it's very hard for you to understand. But it does happen, I promise you. My husband and I had always been the happiest couple around, we never argued, we always enjoyed things together and we even spoke of how ironic it was that we could be so happy after 20 years together and then along came paxil and took his ability to feel happiness away from him. I still had that ability but he didn't and everything that made him unhappy I got the blame for it and it was so hard to accept that paxil was the cause, but I knew that nothing else had changed in our relationship except he started taking paxil 8 months prior to him becoming unhappy and soooo different.

Now, are those feelings gone for good? I don't think so. When my husband tapers my way :} I can always see a difference in him as he drops down a notch, but when he's tried getting off of paxil his and his Dr.'s way, his emotions were all over the place. One day he loved me the next day he didn't and he could not make decisions about anything, especially not our relationship. One day he would want it to be over and the next day he loved me and wanted to make things work, pretty much kept my mind screwed up also. But...once he got on a normal tapering schedule, he did great. I could see him coming around so much and he wanted to do things with me, he wanted to be with me but he still was lacking the ability to be happy and still does. I have seen him happy a few times while tapering so I know he's in there and am just waiting for him to get off of it to have him back.
So I guess what I'm saying is, no those feelings are not gone for good!!!

You just have to convince yourself that the reason he is doing and acting the way he is...is because he is on a mind altering drug. These are not his true feelings because truthfully, he has no feelings right now. They have been taken away from him by paxil.

Again, good luck to you and keep coming on here for support and ask any questions you want. We are here for you and for him. Tell him, there are people he doesn't even know supporting him.
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!
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Old 04-09-2009, 08:33 PM   #70
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I will also vouch for the fact that the "every other day" thing did not work for me - it's too much of a rollercoaster on these drugs that have such short half-lives.
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Old 04-12-2009, 08:35 AM   #71
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Hi Lauren

Just wondering how your are and how things are gping for you ?
__________________
1988-97: Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic Attacks
1997: Comm. Paxil( Aropax) 60 mgs !
Numerous attemtps to stop. mainly C/T
2002: My youngest born 2 months prem. whilst on a "safe" dose paxil 20mgs !!!
8th Sept.2008 FOUND PP
Several attempts to taper; some too quick; reinstate several times: focus on tools to assist life paxil free eg CBT
APRIL: 2013 PAXIL ( Aropax) Free.
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Old 04-14-2009, 11:12 AM   #72
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

i'm wondering too! i've been following your story & worrying along with the others. how's your husband? have you gone back home?

(hugs)
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2004: diagnosed with major depression & general anxiety
2004: prescribed paxil cr, 50mg & xanax
2006: stopped taking xanax, still reliant on paxil
2009: i want my sex-life & emotions back, let's get off these meds!
3/29/09: tapered 50mg to 37.5mg according to doctor's advice
4/12/09: 37.5mg to 25mg
5/20/09: 25mg to 18.75mg
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7/1/09: 14mg
8/1/09: 12mg
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Old 04-14-2009, 03:15 PM   #73
doylc722
 
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren, I feel just like you except I am not pregnant. My husband and I have been married for 13 years, which I thought were happy years until the past year. I love him dearly and that is why I hurt so bad. He started taking Paxil a little over a year ago. A few months after taking paxil his behavior began to change. He made a big gambling bet which he lost and did not tell me about until several months later when I suspected him of having an affair. I thought that things were getting better between us but they actually were getting worse. In August of last year he told me that he had not been happy for the past 10 years of our marriage. I went into a depression and went see my dr. He gave me Lexapro which I did not really want to take. I took 2 pills and decided to just try to deal with it. I have been the doting wife who does everything for my husband. We talked and I worked on making him happy. Now it is April and I just found out last Monday that he is again not happy. He keeps creating myspaces and putting that he is single. When I ask him about them he deletes them and just creates a new one after a few days. He has met two women on there that he has talked to on the phone and texted. He claims that he just needs someone to talk to but I know that kind of behavior can lead to other things. He claims that he wants to work things out but his actions don't seem that he does. It is hard to work on things because he works offshore and left the day after I found out about the myspace and women. We have 2 children together and I don't know what to do. I love him and want to stay with him but I am tired of him hurting me. I just found this site last night and read some of the posts and started thinking that it may be the meds. I called his dr but he is out until next Tuesday. My husband told me that he will get off of the meds but does not want to see the dr about getting off. I am trying to be patient but I don't know how much more I can handle. I am tired of crying constantly.
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Old 04-17-2009, 12:05 AM   #74
Songbird
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LCrawford67 View Post
James hasn't been on for 6 months yet, so he "may" be one who can taper 5 mgs at a time.
My first time on Paxil I was on for only about 6 months and I tapered off quickly by cutting pills into halves, thirds, quarters, sixths, eighths then off. I only stayed on each dose for one to two weeks. This taper worked okay for me that first time. I hope it works for him too.

My second time on Paxil I was on for longer before I tried to come off and I found I could not taper off like this. Something to keep in mind, if he does come off okay quickly this time and is ever tempted to start it again, it might not be the same another time.
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Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
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Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
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Old 04-17-2009, 10:59 AM   #75
Gibby
 
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Location: Southern Illinois
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren,
I hope things are going okay for you, been thinking about ya!

DOYLC722,
All I can really say is...I've been there!!
Hold on to what your heart tells you to do and remember that paxil can make a person do things they normally would not do. But also remember to keep your eyes wide open at all times!!
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!
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