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Family Support Paxil affects whole families. This forum is to support those closest to our hearts (spouses, partners, brothers, sisters etc.) who need help to understand and support.

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Old 07-15-2009, 09:37 PM   #151
lauren
 
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

He has been off it since I found out about their affair, which has been about 5 weeks now.

I don't know...
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Old 07-15-2009, 09:42 PM   #152
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren, my heart aches for you, but I do believe you are a very strong person and you will be okay. Only you know what you can take and what you can't and yes, I do believe that a relationship can survive what yours has been through. As long as their is love then anything can work.

What will be, will be...the future's not ours to see.
Again, best of luck to you and know that I am thinking about you and your family situation.
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
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2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
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Old 07-15-2009, 09:47 PM   #153
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

thank you gibby. How are things going on your end? How is your husband? Is he still on 5mg?
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Old 07-15-2009, 09:48 PM   #154
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
I have told him that I have already moved on and it's his choice whether or not he wants to move on with us (me and Sam).
This is interesting - now it is up to him and you've made that very clear to him! You do sound strong. I hope he comes to his senses and realises what an awesome woman you are.
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Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
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Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
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2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 07-15-2009, 10:56 PM   #155
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren, seriously, you sound like an incredibly strong and brave woman. I know you must be having doubts and fears inside but your attitude is tremendous. I know that you'll make the right choice for you and Sam, and that you'll be in a good place no matter what happens.

Thanks for coming by and saying hi to us!
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10mg: May 2002 - August 2007 for panic disorder.
20mg: August 2007 - August 2008; doubled dose after hitting poop-out.
Started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in August 2007. Recommended!
Tried to taper too fast in July 2008 and went back to 20mg.
Started to taper on August 2, 2008.
Dropped by 8% to 10% every three weeks.
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Old 07-16-2009, 02:17 PM   #156
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

You deserve a party Lauren! You are amazingly strong! And pictures would be fabulous... I don't have any kids but love to look at everyone elses.
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Mess from Oct to Dec, off in Dec 2007
Jan 2008 - Prozac 20 mg, 40, back to 20, and then 10 mg
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Old 07-16-2009, 06:46 PM   #157
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I'm still on the roller coaster ride with my husband. His actions towards me are much better, almost back to normal. He has been skipping doses, he takes 5mg for two days and then skips a day. I tried to warn him of the dangers, but ya know I've warned him a thousand times so I'm just letting this one ride out on it's own:{ He's been doing this for about a month now, so I've just been keeping a close eye on him? Don't know what else to do at this point.
Thanks for asking and you take care of yourself and Sam.
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Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:02 PM   #158
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Hey! Here are some pictures of my little man! He is 8 weeks today...SUCH a big boy!
And a picture of my hot self after I decided to leave and move on with my life. I have decided that I deserve MUCH better and will not settle for less.

Thank you EVERYONE for your support, it means so much to me!!!! I could not have gotten through this without you guys. Thanks again! I will keep you posted if anything happens...
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File Type: jpg baby4444444444444444.jpg (29.1 KB, 39 views)
File Type: jpg lerrrbabbbbby6666.jpg (43.4 KB, 24 views)
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:06 PM   #159
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

He is very cute! I like the one of the two of you best!
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Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
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2009
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2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 07-17-2009, 06:01 PM   #160
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

{{HUG}} Lots of luck and love to you, Lauren (I totally didn't intend for that to be alliteration )
__________________

10mg: May 2002 - August 2007 for panic disorder.
20mg: August 2007 - August 2008; doubled dose after hitting poop-out.
Started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in August 2007. Recommended!
Tried to taper too fast in July 2008 and went back to 20mg.
Started to taper on August 2, 2008.
Dropped by 8% to 10% every three weeks.
Switched to liquid at 9.2mg on March 6, 2009.
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Old 07-18-2009, 06:35 AM   #161
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Yes al the best and know you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

PS. Love the photo's you posted too !!!!
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1988-97: Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic Attacks
1997: Comm. Paxil( Aropax) 60 mgs !
Numerous attemtps to stop. mainly C/T
2002: My youngest born 2 months prem. whilst on a "safe" dose paxil 20mgs !!!
8th Sept.2008 FOUND PP
Several attempts to taper; some too quick; reinstate several times: focus on tools to assist life paxil free eg CBT
APRIL: 2013 PAXIL ( Aropax) Free.
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Old 07-18-2009, 10:18 AM   #162
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Best of luck. Be true to yourself and your son!
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Old 10-24-2009, 05:29 PM   #163
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Heeellllllooooo everyone!

I hope you all are doing well!!

I just wanted to update you guys. I am in school now, Sam is the big 5 month old now! Being a mom has been SUCH a blast! James is doing much better; he is back to his normal personality and behavior, after a whole year. There is a lot of damage that needs to be mended, something that can only be healed over time. We are not together- I am still at my father's house. We are talking, hanging out, and taking it slow. We don't know what's going to happen. Just a day at a time!

Last month he apologized; a real one. It was heart felt and I forgave him. Everything that has happened is in the past, and it's water under the bridge! We don't talk about it, and we will never mention it again. From now on it's the road to recovery. My family doesn't think I should have anything to do with him, but that's the nice part about being an adult. You get to make your own choices!! I married my husband because I love him and am committed to him; for better or worse. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if our marriage can't be saved, it won't be because I gave up on him.

That aside, f*ck paxil for giving me the worst year of my life! But it has definitely made me stronger and I have learned so much about myself that needed to change.
I hope no one has to go through what I have been through the past year, goodness!
I hope everyone had a nice summer!
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Old 10-24-2009, 06:46 PM   #164
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren!!!! {{{{HUG}}}}

So good to hear from you.

Your post made me so happy. Day by day, you're so right. Look at Sam! What a big cutie.

Thanks so much for the update!
__________________

10mg: May 2002 - August 2007 for panic disorder.
20mg: August 2007 - August 2008; doubled dose after hitting poop-out.
Started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in August 2007. Recommended!
Tried to taper too fast in July 2008 and went back to 20mg.
Started to taper on August 2, 2008.
Dropped by 8% to 10% every three weeks.
Switched to liquid at 9.2mg on March 6, 2009.
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:01 PM   #165
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

I'm thrilled to hear that it's going well. What a cutie!
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Old 10-24-2009, 08:51 PM   #166
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

That's so good to hear!
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:34 PM   #167
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Hi Lauren. So pleased to read your post and the pic. of Sam is GORGEOUS.
Heres to a day at a time .

Love Michaela xo
__________________
1988-97: Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic Attacks
1997: Comm. Paxil( Aropax) 60 mgs !
Numerous attemtps to stop. mainly C/T
2002: My youngest born 2 months prem. whilst on a "safe" dose paxil 20mgs !!!
8th Sept.2008 FOUND PP
Several attempts to taper; some too quick; reinstate several times: focus on tools to assist life paxil free eg CBT
APRIL: 2013 PAXIL ( Aropax) Free.
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Old 10-25-2009, 07:48 AM   #168
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren - it is great news that you are all healing and moving on. I have often wondered how you were doing and I am glad that you are working on forgiving him and keeping the past in the past. These drugs can make the most kind, loving, caring person into an absolute monster and I know that you are thrilled to be seeing the real James again. It will keep getting better from here !
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Old 10-26-2009, 02:26 AM   #169
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Glad to hear you're enjoying motherhood, and that your husband has got his real personality back. I hope you two can work things out.
__________________
Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
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2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
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Old 10-26-2009, 02:04 PM   #170
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Great news Lauren...and you are right about being an adult and being able to make your own choices. Also remember that your family is also just thinking of you and they too worry. I know it makes it hard but when your little Sam grows up to become a young man you will then understand what your family feels when you are hurt.

You are also very right about ...it going to take time!! That's the only thing that can make things better:}

Good luck to ya and you sound like your pretty happy right now!!
__________________
Husband's Paxil Story
3/07---20mg paxil
10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days
10/4---back on 19mg
1/2/08--down to 10mg
2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days
4/12/08--10mg daily dose
7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{
7/11/08---up to 8mg
8/8/08---7mg
8/22/08--6mg??
9/12/08--5mg
11/07/08--4mg
11/17/08--5mg
1/22/09--4mg
2/28/09--5mg
10/09--10mg:{
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID...
YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!
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Old 03-25-2010, 07:36 PM   #171
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Hello!

I just wanted to update you guys about what's going on. I don't remember the last time I updated? Oh well! I think it was before Christmas!

Sam just turned 10 months! Can you believe it's been that long?? He stands on his own and is getting ready to take his first steps. He had his third haircut (but first REAL one) the other day, and looks like a little boy. He loooooves Mickey Mouse and super loves to help take things out of the dishwasher. He goes to "Mommy's Day Out" twice a week while I'm in school and he has like four girlfriends! Uh oh, I know...! haha

James and I are back to normal...as normal as normal ever was. Christmas was the best Christmas in a really long time...and it's all been uphill from there. After everything that's happened, and this is going to sound weird, but I trust him now, and thinking about 2009 doesn't even upset me. He was a stranger then, a monster, and so all those things he did, he did them as a different person. We have talked a lot about everything that happened, and he has been amazing. We still have some things to work through, but that will come with time. He even talks about wanting to mend things with my family. He is obviously ashamed of what he did, and knows it will take time for things to heal. BUT ANYWAY...time goes on!

I just learned that I have one more year left until I graduate with my B.S. in Biology (hells yea!) and then I am applying to PA School. Fingers crossed- it's super hard to get in to. I cannot wait to be finished with school!

I can't think of anything else going on, other then our crazy cold front JUST as we were enjoying the summer weather! I hope everyone is doing well and having a good week. Hopefully I will be posting more and can keep up to date with everyone.

Before I updated, I read my original post and it's amazing to see the growth I've been through. I remember the feeling while I was writing that, I was so scared and upset, hopeless and defeated. It's even more amazing what a good medicine time is, and how it can help to heal you in ways you could never imagine.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg samcut.JPG (14.5 KB, 15 views)
File Type: jpg samm2.JPG (16.2 KB, 13 views)
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File Type: jpg zootime.jpg (28.9 KB, 20 views)
File Type: jpg beach.jpg (29.3 KB, 19 views)
File Type: jpg home.jpg (24.2 KB, 28 views)
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Old 03-25-2010, 07:41 PM   #172
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Lauren, I just love it when you post!!! This time it brought tears to my eyes. Sam is gorgeous (you, too!) and I'm so happy that James is back to normal.

Also...GO YOU!!!! Congrats on almost being done with school! YAY!!
__________________

10mg: May 2002 - August 2007 for panic disorder.
20mg: August 2007 - August 2008; doubled dose after hitting poop-out.
Started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in August 2007. Recommended!
Tried to taper too fast in July 2008 and went back to 20mg.
Started to taper on August 2, 2008.
Dropped by 8% to 10% every three weeks.
Switched to liquid at 9.2mg on March 6, 2009.
PAXIL FREE: June 27, 2010
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Old 03-25-2010, 07:51 PM   #173
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carolyn View Post
Lauren, I just love it when you post!!! This time it brought tears to my eyes. Sam is gorgeous (you, too!) and I'm so happy that James is back to normal.

Also...GO YOU!!!! Congrats on almost being done with school! YAY!!
Thanks! It's good to hear from you too!! Time has flown by SO FAST!!!!! I rarely have my nose out of a school book, so I haven't been on much. But I hope everything is going well for you?


I bet it's nice and warm where you live...it's freezing out!!
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Old 03-25-2010, 07:56 PM   #174
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

Thanks for the update, that is wonderful news! So glad to hear that you and your husband have been able to work things out. Your little boy is cute as can be!
__________________
Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax
Feb-Dec 03 Citalopram
Jul 04 Aropax
Jan 07-Feb 08 20mg > 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009
Jan 12.5mg > Dec 6.3mg
2010 Aug 6.15mg Nov 6 mg
2011 Feb 5.9mg Apr 5.8mg May 5.7mg Jun 5.6mg Sep 5.5mg Nov 5.4mg Dec 5.3mg
2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg 4 Jul 4.8mg 29 Aug 4.7mg 8 Oct 4.6mg 24 Nov 4.5mg 15 Dec 4.4mg
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Old 03-25-2010, 08:39 PM   #175
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Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband.

So glad things are going well for you! Sam is an adorable little boy!
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