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Old 07-05-2011, 12:56 AM   #202
poxyroxy
 
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Thanks Polly, thanks pokie.

Hmmm....
I seem to be feeling a little bit of the light headiness and very slight twinge effects of the electro shock through the front middle of the brain. (very slight!)

These would both be familiar feelings and side effects of past drops and I know are very typical for most people going through withdrawal.

However I am more interested to know if they are placebo, or actually physically medication related? I am unsure as to what my belief in the placebo effect is (or my understanding of it), but I do feel that there could be something strongly related in this situation.

In the past I have experienced these side effects directly related to the withdrawal. I have felt it, read about it and talked about it. So the fact is that my brain is now quite rehearsed on the connection between tapering and these symptoms is quite important.
In the build up to this new taper and the actual crossing over into the process, my brain has had a constant and repetitive expectation of what is to come.
So its natural reaction in preparation may be for it to produce the familiar side effects it relates to the upcoming and current situation.

I suppose I will never know the answer to these question for my own situation. Unless someone was to have secretly experimented on me without my knowing, and the dosage I was still on all this time was 20mg.
Then I could put these very slight symptoms and the stronger ones of the past down to the placebo effect.

What ever the answer, the fact is that I am experiencing (real or unreal) very slight withdrawal effects.
Nothing major, nothing debilitating and all is strong, positive and go ahead for progress.
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Old 07-06-2011, 11:56 PM   #204
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Yes, I hope that this will be the way it is, and that after a couple of drops, my body will again have the pattern learnt.
It certainly shows the sensitivity of the body and mind.
Yesterday was a little difficult, tired and sleepy. However again nothing major and I am well able to keep going. It is a shame however that it should even have to be a slight fight of any sort.
Soon I hope the body will realize that this is all for the best.
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Old 07-12-2011, 12:23 AM   #206
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

I am very tired at the moment, proper sleepy tired, stay in bed for a day type tired. It worries me a little feeling this way. My head is heavy and slow and feels somewhat a little clogged up.

I had a very busy weekend which was also set off with a fairly heavy attack of hay fever. The hay fever really tires me out and drains me of energy. To try and fight the hay fever I have taken some antihistamines. These (although they say on the pack that they shouldn't) have really knocked me out.
They do there job of clearing my sinuses and stopping the constant sneezing and stingy itchy eyes, however they also really knock me out. I would love at the end of the day to be able to control the hay fever naturally, but my life style and location does not always allow for this. It is a hard decision to make for to take the antihistamine medication, but I was so riddled with pollen on Sunday evening, I just had to give in.

So this is all interesting. Even though there is plenty of fairly clear reason for me to be feeling tired at the moment, I can not help but also notice that it started around the 10th day of this taper. There is an old familiar pattern rising again. It was always around the ten day to two week mark of the last taper that I was hit with a real sleep attack for a day or two.

It may be coincidence that it is happening at the same time as a very busy weekend and the need for antihistamines, but I am also open to that it is very much related to this latest medication drop.
It will be interesting to once again watch for these patterns.

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Old 07-12-2011, 12:26 PM   #208
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Poxyroxy, I don't have hay fever but after starting paxil my nose seemed to be constantly stuffy. Worse when I layed down. ( not as bad since I dropped below 10mg.)

Go to Amazon and order yourself some Olbas Oil. Just before bed, sprinkle a few drops on a folded paper towel (kitchen towel) and place it somewhere in your bedroom. It will help your sinuses stay clear all night -and your room will always have a fresh smell I do this every night and it's really helped.

Hope you start to feel better, less tired and drained.

Polly
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June 4, started liquid paxil 9.5mg
June 22 8.8
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July 19, 8.4
August 8, 8.2
August 28, 8.0
September 7.5
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Oct.21, 6.4mg
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Dec. 14, 5.6 mg
Jan. 5.2 mg
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Old 07-13-2011, 02:09 AM   #209
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Thanks for the tip Polly. I will certainly look into that. Smell is such a lively part of my senses and has great effect on me.

Well I officially have an ear infection. It is a little reassuring to see my tiredness and down feeling develop into something clearly recognizable.
It does not answer whether the ear infection has caused me to feel down and tired, or has feeling tired and down developed into the physical symptoms of an ear infection.

Instead of trying to work out which comes first and which causes the other, I first need to just accept that I am feeling a little sick at the moment and allow myself some down time.

So I am going to lump the hay fever, sleepiness, down feeling, tapering side effects, ear infection and busy weekend into one package and just say that i am feeling a little delicate and run down.
This makes it all sound perfectible acceptable and reasonable and allows me to stop looking for cause, and get on with working towards feeling better.
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Old 07-13-2011, 01:24 PM   #210
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Ear infections can really drag you down so you're doing the right thing.

Polly
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June 4, started liquid paxil 9.5mg
June 22 8.8
July 15, 8.6
July 19, 8.4
August 8, 8.2
August 28, 8.0
September 7.5
Oct. 1, 7.2mg : Migrains
Oct.21, 6.4mg
Nov.18, 6.0mg
Dec. 14, 5.6 mg
Jan. 5.2 mg
Feb, 3, 4.8:
Mar, 4.4
Apr.4.2 - 3.4
May 3.0 -2.8

Sept,1,2012 Paxil FREEEEEEE!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:53 AM   #211
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Another step made today...another 5% out of my system.

Started to feel a bit better now after ear infection of the last few days. Also, hay fever had got unmanageable so I had to take some of the antihistamines. I hate falling back to rely on these as they completely whack me out into a drowsy sleepy world (even though the main advertisement says that they don't). However I must me a medical marvel, because they defiantly have an effect on me.
Anyway, the sleepy feeling is better than the continuous sneezing and itchy eyes. At least I know that there is only a couple of weeks left in the pollen season here and then I will be free again to enjoy the outdoors.

So, all going well, a little tired, a little anxious, but hoping for a smooth transfer over to the 9mg dose.
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Old 07-17-2011, 12:31 AM   #213
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Yep, I know that the 3 week steps are more usual. However when on the 1mg drops for the first stage (20mg to 10mg), I found that it was every 2 weeks that my body had adapted and accepted the new dose. So I am hoping that on this principle I will be able to train the body to accept the 2 week drops of the smaller 5% drops.

Everything is going fine so far and I am keeping a very close eye on my progress to see what my body is thinking. If it comes back with any negativity to this schedule I will then allow it the 3 week steps, and so on...

I suppose otherwise I would never have know if i would be able to manage the two week steps without trying it out.
So we will see how it goes, I have plenty of time and I am very willing to listen to my body. For the moment the two weeks is fine and I will keep recording any pattern or changes.
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Old 07-21-2011, 12:54 AM   #215
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

First week of latest taper (9.5mg - 9.0mg) nearly at an end and all going well.
No side effects noticed yet and general mood good.
I am still hoping that this will continue for the next 10 days and I will be able to stick with my plan to try and do the small 5% drops every two weeks (rather than every 3 weeks).

Life is busy at the moment, and I am quite occupied through work and study. Balancing this with my journey off the medication and finding new ways is sometimes quite overwhelming and hard to keep track of.
I never want to loose sight of this goal and start to think that the tapering off of the medication is just some process in the background that does not need to be monitored.

All is good at the moment. I do not feel down and I do not fell side effects.
However once a day when I sit down and measure out my liquid Seroxat, snap the pills in half and mark down my dosage taken, I remember what a positive and important journey I am on.
This always leaves me feeling good.
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:50 AM   #217
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

I am coming into that interesting time of one week to ten days where I used to feel the change over of the step down in medication.

It is however going to be hard for me to notice anything too detailed about any side effects for this time around. I am at a very important place in my journey at the moment and everything is quite delicately balanced. I am away from the security of my home and routine and have not the general support that I have built up around me over the past year. I am tired and nervous and feeling quite small and vulnerable. It is nice to have access to the internet and to be able to still come to this website for support and familiarity.

At the end of this week when I return home, I will be able to look back on my time away and it will be interesting to see what I have managed to pass through. It is the first time since the start of my withdrawal journey that I have stepped back fully into my old life style of work and travel. It is almost exactly a year ago now that I first started the process to change. I am nervous because it feels somewhat as if I am back to my old place and ways and that possibly nothing has changed. I really hope that once I get back home I will be able to again see the major steps forward that I have taken over this last year.

It is going to be a tough time over these next five days and I hope to get through them safely. There is no doth that my mind is on high alert and I am looking all around me for a little hole to scurry into for safety. These all leaves me scared and confused by the world.

It is Saturday morning, by Wednesday afternoon I should be back on the road home. Home back to my world of recovery and strength and safety. I know that I can really go back anytime and escape from this uncomfortable feeling and place. However I hope that the last year has given me enough strength to keep on the path, gently moving forward.
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Priadel (Lithium Carbonate) 400mg
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Old 07-23-2011, 11:53 AM   #218
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

And once you're through it, you're going to feel SO empowered Poxyroxy!

Just take one hour or one minute at a time, write it all in a journal to look back on when you're paxil free and have your life back.

You've come a long way! You're doing great!

Polly
__________________
Paxil 12mg CR April 2011 for grief and anxiety.

June 4, started liquid paxil 9.5mg
June 22 8.8
July 15, 8.6
July 19, 8.4
August 8, 8.2
August 28, 8.0
September 7.5
Oct. 1, 7.2mg : Migrains
Oct.21, 6.4mg
Nov.18, 6.0mg
Dec. 14, 5.6 mg
Jan. 5.2 mg
Feb, 3, 4.8:
Mar, 4.4
Apr.4.2 - 3.4
May 3.0 -2.8

Sept,1,2012 Paxil FREEEEEEE!
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Old 07-26-2011, 03:17 AM   #219
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Thanks Polly, all good now and on my way home.
The week has gone well and I will be proud of myself once I am settled back, relaxed and rested.

I have still no side effects at day 11 of this 5% drop and only a few more days to go before the next drop. As I said before as long as I am not experiencing any effects, I am going to see if I can keep up this 2 week / 5% tapering program.

It is an interesting feeling to have dropped back into the "real" world for the last week. I say interesting because I seem to have come out the other side with a feeling of not wanting to just go back to that place I was a year ago. This is important to me. I do not want to find myself at the beginning ready to go again. I hope that the work of the last year and the continuing work ahead will play far more of a permanent role in my life. I hope that the paths I find myself on for the future may well take me through the same landscapes of my past. However I hope that I will continue to be able to travel them with a more open view and a lighter heart.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:31 PM   #221
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Thanks Pokie, your advice is always heard here and I understand what you are saying. The two week taper schedule may appear to be a little rushed, but I am just testing to see how my body and mind react.
I do not mean to be experimenting on myself anymore than I need to and admit that it would probably be easier to just settle with the longer three week taper

However for me this whole process is one big experiment. I am in unchartered waters for myself and realize that I need to keep constantly aware of where I am, how I might drift and what possible storms may lie on the horizon.

I will feel better in myself if I know that I pushed myself a little. I need some of the strength that a little bit of a fight will bring. I have goals in mind, places to reach and dates to progress towards.
I am not going to be flippant and careless about these goals. I will not keep pushing forward through patterns regardless of how I am feeling and what i am experiencing.

I continue to record everything. I write every morning in a journal of my feelings and worries and hopes and concerns. I continue to go to see a therapist and deal with past issues and every day life. I come here to this forum and keep track of my progress and look to see how others are getting on.

I hope that i will always be able to recognize if the tapering schedule is becoming too much for me and that I need to rethink the 2/3/4 week steps.
So far everything is fine and I will again go down another 5% in a few days time. I have at least another year of this process and I guess it will only be then that I will fully understand how my body reacted to the gentle reduction in medication over these couple of years.
I have already written quarter of a million words in my private journal, recording every step of the way. By the time I am finished I know that i will probably have the same again. It is not particularly interesting reading and will probably serve no future purpose for me or anyone else.

It is however a weight of my mind.
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Old 07-28-2011, 07:34 AM   #223
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Poxy and Pokie, I hear you, both. I'm actually doing 10% drops every 2 weeks, thus far, but am carefully monitoring myself, too. If I'm not feeling good at the 2 week mark, I won't drop.

But then, when I look back on things, I've been taking magnesium, flax, various other supplements, and eating a no sugar/no white flour diet for at least 4 years. Maybe that prepared me, ahead of time?


Have a wonderful day!!!!
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05/31/11 Last day 10 mg. Lexapro
06/01/11 9 mg
06/07/11 9ml of liquid Lexapro
06/08/11 8.8
Continued to slowly taper until: 09/21/12. 0.0!!

But for some post-taper bumps in the road, I currently (mid summer 2013) seem to be finding myself back to me.
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:32 AM   #224
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

I would think that the diet and supplements you mention would be really helping. I try to keep somewhat on top of my sugar/dairy/wheat/MSG/additives intake, but can not say that I am always very successful. I do however really feel it when I loose the run of myself and stick too much rubbish into my body.
The convenience and pleasures of life are certainly often not always the most healthy life.

I have done the next 5% drop now (.4mg) as I was feeling fine after two weeks on 9mg. However similarly to what you say, I will let my body decide what the future pattern is. Two weeks is the minimum amount of time I will ever allow, and I will be willing to extend this to monthly drops or more if the body needs it.

The challenge as always, is to be able to listen to the body and interpret what it is saying. For instance I have the ear infection back again. I am sure that this is something to do with the season and hay fever, but never remember it getting so bad in past years.

I usually like to try and work these things out myself and let the nature of time heal, however this ear problem is just going on a little too long. I have made an appointment to see my doctor next week and have it properly checked out. Although it is more of an inconvenience rather than a serious health issue, and I am quite sure has to do with my allergies to pollen, I am going to play this one safe and see what my doctor has to say.

Anyway, also time for blood tests etc. to make sure all is progressing fine.
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Seroxat/Paxil 10mg
Priadel (Lithium Carbonate) 400mg
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Optimax (L-tryptophan) 2500mg
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Old 07-30-2011, 06:25 AM   #225
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Re: Over 15 years and time to stop...!

Ah, yes, convenience! Always a challenge when having to make quick food choices, sometimes.

I would get the ear checked, too. I have allergy issues, too, and this is a high season for me, right now. It all adds to extra taxing on the body, which we don't need when we're tapering. GOOD luck with treating that ear and your allergies, just now.
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05/31/11 Last day 10 mg. Lexapro
06/01/11 9 mg
06/07/11 9ml of liquid Lexapro
06/08/11 8.8
Continued to slowly taper until: 09/21/12. 0.0!!

But for some post-taper bumps in the road, I currently (mid summer 2013) seem to be finding myself back to me.
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