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Old 01-05-2012, 07:36 PM   #1
Lovesthebeach
 
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This too shall pass

I decided to journal, so that at I can look back and stick my tongue out to Paxil, Panic and Anxiety. Damn all of this...

My story is like this, I started on Paxil in October 2000 due to some very bad panic attacks that were probably brought on by years of bad boyfriend choices, poor life style, unreasonable expectations on myself and for those around me and family members with health problems. My doctor started me on the poison that is Paxil saying that it is well tolerated with zero side effects. To tell the truth it did help; I started at 10 millegrams and peaked out at 40 over the 10 year period. After a year of taking the drug, I did actually try to get off then; but started having issues again. Little did my doctor or I know that it was more than likely withdrawal. But I went back on the Paxil; over the years my weight creeped up even though I am a pretty active person. Doctors kept telling me to watch what I ate, exercise and it would come off. Joke! Nothing would come off and I would get frustrated and stop the diet stuff. Truth be told I probably started to get Paxil poop out a few years ago( I would still get the occasional panic episode) but just continued to plow forward with this "miracle drug". Then about a year ago, I was considering going off Paxil and trying to deal with things with prayer, diet and exercise. I did my homework and was well aware that there could be some withdrawals but wanted to go forward. I decided on waiting til closer to the spring/summer time as I wanted to be able to be outside-if I was going to be miserable, I wanted to be able to do it outside. I should mention that the original doctor I got the prescription from left the clinic; I started to see a new doc; I didn't have that same relationship with the new doc as I did with the old, but what can you do? I talked to her about a year ago during my yearly exam about weaning off and her words to me were" It can be difficult but not impossible" we can come up with a weaning schedule and go from them. I was glad to hear a dr acknowledge that there can be issues. Or so I though... Spring of 2011 I decided to start weaning with my doctors help. It was going ok but then started to experience some of the withdrawal symptoms and was looking to lean on her for support. What a monumental mistake; it was like she did a complete 180 with her "it can be difficult but not impossible" to her new mantra of "if you are worried about withdrawal, then you are not ready to wean" Really? I am not sure how you could draw that conclusion. So I decided to change doctors in my clinic to a doctor that specialized in treating depression. Although I have not suffered from depression in the past, I figured that if she treated for depression that she would be aware of withdrawal symptoms from Paxil and would be sympathetic to my situation. I could not have been more wrong in my life...she was the most rude and condsending doctor I had ever came across. At one point, I burst into tears due to frustration with her telling me that she has never had a patient that experienced withdrawal from taking Paxil and any problems I was having was due to me not being ready to stopping the drug. I was asking her about taking supplements, like Fish Oil and a like because I read on line that they can help. Her reply was she had never heard of any supplements that could help reduce anxiety and because I started to cry earlier in the appointment, she thought it necesary to pull out her handy dandy sheet to go over because she thought I might be depressed. The only thing I was depressed about was the conversation I was having with her. When I told my family and friends about the "depression test" we all laughed because I am about as far from depressed as a person could get. Don't get me wrong I don't find depression funny to say the least because I have some friends that suffer from it and is not easy for them to deal, but the funny part is that she was so far off and had zero bedside manner. Who likes doctors like this? So I googled my previous fav doctor and found out that she left the clinic and went to a place where she could intergrate regular medicine along with alternative meds. Score! I made an appointment with her at her new clinic and told her about my experience with the other two doctors. She told me a little bit about why she left the clinic (she was tired of them not wanting to be more open to alternative options and being tied down to pharm companies) Double score! I was so happy to have found her again; she is uber supportive and completely sympathetic to the withdrawals. I started weaning May 2011 and took my last pill Sept 25th 2011. During the weaning process it was pretty decent really; whenever I would wean to the next lower dose for a few days there were a few bumps in the road but went forward. I took suggestions about taking Fish Oil, Magnesium and a multi vitamin and I tried to walk several times a week. I started to have body zaps (yuck) and some headaches but about six weeks or so the body zaps were minimal (there were days when I would wonder if they would ever end and they did, although still get them from time to time). Where I started to have more withdrawal symptoms was about Thanksgiving time; I was starting to have some restless leg, visions problems (seeing floaters and not being able to have things close to my face without getting blurred vision-weird I know but other vision is really good) and some anxiety and low and behold started having some panic issues: I personally feel like they are more W/D because I was always able to "shake it off" or get up from my desk and it would go away. these stick with me and the foggy brain drives me crazy. That is the part right now that is the hardest are these dang panic episodes; I know they can't hurt me, but doesn't make it any less scary.These are way worst than the ones I had to begin with. I am not going to let this stop me; there are much better ways to try control stress and will not let this stupid poison rule me; like the other W/D it will eventually go away but of course would rather have it be today than tomorrow. Part of the deal with anxiety in the first place is unrealistic expectations and I guess after taking this medication for so long I can't expect my brain to be back to normal in a few months. This is my story....this is the beginning of me taking my life back. It might not always be easy, but I am determined to get there. My new favorite saying is "This too shall pass"
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-06-2012, 03:33 AM   #2
julieannboo
 
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Re: This too shall pass

that is a good phrase 'this too shall pass'

i must remember that too.

well done for getting off paxil xx
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Paxil History:
20mg - April 1997
0mg - Summer 1998
30mg - October 1999
20mg - October 2002 - July 2011
20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper)
CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg
Back on 10mg - August 2012
Staying on 10mg - for the time being.
Pleased i am on half my original dose.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:03 PM   #3
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Re: This too shall pass

Thank you Julie, you too one day will be free of the poison.

Today I woke up feeling not quite so right; I had already made an appointment with my dr earlier this week. I have had some kind of stomach illness all week and food is not very appealing. Kind of freaked me out (shocker, that someone with anxiety would get freaked about something health related) mostly because it was hard to tell if it was withdrawal related, anxiety related or truly some kind of bug. Turns out it was the later; apparently there is some kind of stomach/respiratory gargbage going around and I am a lucky receipent. I also talked to her about some other problems I was having. She re-assured me that because I have been on the drug for as long as I have it will take awhile for my brain to adjust to it. Sometimes a little re-assurance goes a long way as she also told me she thinks I am doing a great job. I also found out that due to no more Paxil and the virus I had this week that I have lost a total of 17 pounds since Sept 25; take that you doctors that don't think Paxil causes weight gain. I lost that without even really trying. Still I had some anxiety today, but it will be gone as I refuse to let it control me anymore. Not the Paxil, not the panic or anxiety.

This too shall pass....
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:59 PM   #4
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Re: This too shall pass

Way to remain positive, I think you're doing a great job too!
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Started Celexa 20 mg. 5/2001
Quit Celexa CT 7/15/2011
AD free for 5 mos.
Reinstated Celexa 10 mg. 12/14/11
Up to 20mg. 12/21/11 sick, horrible time
Down to 10mg. 2/7/12 giving up reinstating
5mg. 2/15/12.
4mg. 2/27/12.
3mg. 3/7/12
2mg. 3/14/12
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:50 PM   #5
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wld View Post
Way to remain positive, I think you're doing a great job too!
Thank you WLD I appreciate it
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-07-2012, 07:22 PM   #6
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Re: This too shall pass

Not much to report today;woke up feeling pretty decent today. One thing of note-I was looking up some stuff on line to check out some supplements that my doctor put me on. The next thing you know I am looking up symptoms on various websites and pretty much diagnosed myself with several major diseases. Why do this to myself? First off, I had a check up earlier this Fall and everything was fine and even if I do have symptoms, it is probably more withdrawal symptom related versus some disease. Note to self.....no more self diagnosis, no more Web MB or Mayo.org. Shesh.
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-07-2012, 07:42 PM   #7
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Re: This too shall pass

I did a lot of self diagnosis as well. It makes my anxiety so much worse. mayo clinic was a frequent site for me. Well, I should say is. However I know continuing to surf medical sites on the web is driving me mad. I know I'm healthy, but these withdrawal symptoms easily make me feel like I've got several imaginary health issues! During the first month of withdrawals I actually went to the emergency room 100% convinced I had diabetes. Of course I didn't. I cant wait to feel normal again. I've recently began exercise, which I've never done, always loathed, was never motivated to do so, and its a huge motivator. Even my little 15 minute routine really helps release serotonin and endorphins that make me feel normal again. If I start getting anxious I just do jumping jacks.. really seems to help. I also use a womans daily multi vitamin, fish oil, and gingko biloba.
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Old 01-08-2012, 02:14 PM   #8
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by mzmadness View Post
I did a lot of self diagnosis as well. It makes my anxiety so much worse. mayo clinic was a frequent site for me. Well, I should say is. However I know continuing to surf medical sites on the web is driving me mad. I know I'm healthy, but these withdrawal symptoms easily make me feel like I've got several imaginary health issues! During the first month of withdrawals I actually went to the emergency room 100% convinced I had diabetes. Of course I didn't. I cant wait to feel normal again. I've recently began exercise, which I've never done, always loathed, was never motivated to do so, and its a huge motivator. Even my little 15 minute routine really helps release serotonin and endorphins that make me feel normal again. If I start getting anxious I just do jumping jacks.. really seems to help. I also use a womans daily multi vitamin, fish oil, and gingko biloba.
I know MzMadness, it does just drive up the anxiety and makes it all worst. I am swearing if off for now because I truly want to bring the anxiety down. I am taking fish oil, multi vitamin, magnsium, 5-HTP(I just started this on Friday) and vitamin D; it is so nice here today that I did go for about a 30 minute walk and it does help. I am also looking at doing acupuncture. I am willing to try just about anything at this point because I am so bound and determined to get rid of the withdrawal/panic issues. One thing I know I need to work on is to give things time to work: as my doctor said to me on Friday, I was on Paxil for 10 years and it takes time for a person's body to recover. I know we can all do this, it will just take time and patience!
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:48 AM   #9
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Re: This too shall pass

I didn't have a good night of sleep last night; woke up a few times. Mostly restless sleep. I think it has to do with my aunt and uncle stopping by today and they are going to wonder why I am not at work. I have been lucky enough to be able to take some time off of work to get myself together. It embarassing to try and explain this stuff without them thinking you are a mental case. Maybe it is more because I care what people think of me; I would like to think I come across with as very strong and to try and explain this to people would be a kink in my armor so to speak. You see, I have so much going on in my life and I don't want people to think I can't deal with it all. I have a parent who is very sick and needs a lot of help, I work full time, I have a son who is a little lost in life and a brother who has major health issues as well (heart and lung related). My mom is my dad's main caregiver and when I am not working I try to help out so she can get out of the house because taking care of my dad is a full time job in and of it self. In addition I have a relative that relies on me quite a lot to try and counsel her. She lives in a different state and has two kids which one of them is probably going commit some kind of horrific crime one of these days. It is very overwhelming to say the least.

I actually found a meeting in my area last night for people that deal with anxiety and panic disorder; even though I feel that many of my issues are withdrawal related, I figured that since it was panic that got me on the Paxil, it wouldn't hurt to check this out. I think what was comforting were the faces I saw; this stuff doesn't discriminate. There were young, middle age, and older folks, men and women. People like you and me, just trying to get through life, take care of their family and more importantly enjoy life. Another beautiful day in sunny warm Minnesota. Maybe I will go take a walk.
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-10-2012, 09:44 AM   #10
julieannboo
 
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Re: This too shall pass

you have got a lot of things going on in your life at the moment.

you are allowed to feel stressed.

take it easy and go out for a walk xx
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Paxil History:
20mg - April 1997
0mg - Summer 1998
30mg - October 1999
20mg - October 2002 - July 2011
20mg to 10mg - July 2011 - March 2012 (10% taper)
CRASHED when i got to 5.2mg
Back on 10mg - August 2012
Staying on 10mg - for the time being.
Pleased i am on half my original dose.
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Old 01-10-2012, 01:53 PM   #11
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Re: This too shall pass

I'm glad you're able to take off work. That has to be one of the worst pressures and my heart goes out to everyone who has to drag their bodies in despite their minds. You definitely have a lot on your plate. Your attitude is so awesome tho I think it's really going to help your recovery. Do what you have to do. Try to stop worrying, the world will go on w/o you in charge for awhile. You're gonna have to settle for getting by for now--hard when you're the perfectionist, which it sounds like you are. Doesn't AA say let go and let God? I think its fitting. Have a beautiful day there in Minnesota.
__________________
Started Celexa 20 mg. 5/2001
Quit Celexa CT 7/15/2011
AD free for 5 mos.
Reinstated Celexa 10 mg. 12/14/11
Up to 20mg. 12/21/11 sick, horrible time
Down to 10mg. 2/7/12 giving up reinstating
5mg. 2/15/12.
4mg. 2/27/12.
3mg. 3/7/12
2mg. 3/14/12
1mg. 3/21/12
Last dose 3/27/12



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Old 01-10-2012, 04:12 PM   #12
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesthebeach View Post
I know MzMadness, it does just drive up the anxiety and makes it all worst. I am swearing if off for now because I truly want to bring the anxiety down. I am taking fish oil, multi vitamin, magnsium, 5-HTP(I just started this on Friday) and vitamin D; it is so nice here today that I did go for about a 30 minute walk and it does help. I am also looking at doing acupuncture. I am willing to try just about anything at this point because I am so bound and determined to get rid of the withdrawal/panic issues. One thing I know I need to work on is to give things time to work: as my doctor said to me on Friday, I was on Paxil for 10 years and it takes time for a person's body to recover. I know we can all do this, it will just take time and patience!
Lovesthebeach, I was on it for 10 years too. from 14- 24. I think it really messed up my brain as it was still developing. Im not doing too bad, but some days are just horrible. I DEF couldnt cope with all that you are juggling with your family at the moment, kudos to you for being so strong! We got off of paxil at around the same time so I'm really happy your coping well.

Time is def the most important aspect of the healing process. I know from these forums that it could take a few years, with ups and downs, windows of normality, etc. I've experienced as have many others that around "that time of the month" withdrawal symptoms are back full force.

I have confidence we can all overcome this. This forum has certainly been a blessing for me, I feel support when I need it the most. Good luck with you and your family!
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:08 PM   #13
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Re: This too shall pass

Julie, Wld and Mz-Thank you for your support and kind words. They really mean a lot : ) We all will get through this!
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-10-2012, 09:29 PM   #14
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesthebeach View Post
Julie, Wld and Mz-Thank you for your support and kind words. They really mean a lot : ) We all will get through this!
"like"
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Old 01-12-2012, 03:31 PM   #15
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Re: This too shall pass

Hmm, so the past two days have been really **ugh** I thought I was doing pretty well because I was able to eat more again and starting to feel better. Then yesterday I was tired all day; then when I went to go eat dinner it was a no go. Felt really ill; plus I was having some stomach issues which I think probably has something to do with the supplements that I was taking. Come to find out later my mom said, "Boy, I am not feeling so great, stomach seems to be upset" So then I think to myself, see everything doesn't have to be , withdrawal, panic or anxiety related. It all can be so draining. Then today I had a follow up my orthopedic specialist due to a herniated disc in my back; I had been having problems with a cold hand and foot and asked if it could be related to my bad back. When he said, not that I know off, then off the mind goes wondering what in the world is causing that? Then I think "How in the world did I get here, in this spot where I am so hypersensative to every sensation my body has" Another internal conversation that is so draining. *Sigh*
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-13-2012, 07:13 PM   #16
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Re: This too shall pass

2 days of crap; I really feel horrible today. Took myself into the doctor because the dizziness and nasuea are off the charts. He said, you look good, you have no obvious symptoms and you are fine. I feel like I am falling back into the health anxiety mode and kick myself for it. I know better, but just feel really bad. I wish with the withdrawal stuff that a person could say, oh, dizziness, flu like symptoms, depersonalization? Those symptoms last 3.5 weeks, you will turn the corner and it will be all better. Turns out doesn't work like that. Dang it anyway.
__________________
June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:37 PM   #17
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Re: This too shall pass

Ahh day instead of a Ugh....today was a much better day than the last couple. When I talked to my doctor yesterday she said I could have these bumps in the road as I am going thru the withdrawal, but am bound and determined to get through this. I have been trying out acupuncture and am really liking it. Not sure if it is the acupuncture or just the enviroment but I do feel a little better. Besides it is kind of a spa like experience so I am using the time to do some positive self talk. The place I go to is a community acpuncture which makes it much more affordable. They play nice relaxing music and I really like the acupuncturist; the one I had today has a special interest in working with those with panic/anxiety issues. Then after I went and met with a friend that I had not seen in almost 20 years; she was in town from another state. We ended up talking for 4 hours just catching up and stuff. Here is to hoping for more days like today!
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:31 PM   #18
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Re: This too shall pass

So today started off a little shaky but the rest of the day was ok. So I was thinking to myself (dangerous I know) when I know that anxiety and panic attacks can't hurt me, why do I still fear them? They are uncomfortable and dumb but shesh. I do have an appointment with a therapist I was seeing a few years ago. One thing I am kicking myself over is not talking to her sooner like when I started to wean. 11 years of not feeling anything makes a person out of practice! The other day for stuff and giggles and I was going to a follow up drs appointment, I wrote down all of the symptoms I was having after stopping the crap. I was really surprised at the list I had because there were so many. Maybe because one will replace another I didn't realize how many there were. A big pat on the back for me because I survived. A big old extensive list and I have survived! I don't know if my panic attacks are WD, but one thing I do know is I am going to do everything I can to minimize them. Here is to more ok days!
__________________
June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:15 PM   #19
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Re: This too shall pass

You have such good communication with your doctor. I need to do more of that. I haven't seen mine since Aug. I really like him, he's been what I consider a friend for 30 yrs. but he scares the crap out of me--stupid advice about ADs and such. He's always been right on with everything else. How'd you get so lucky with yours?
__________________
Started Celexa 20 mg. 5/2001
Quit Celexa CT 7/15/2011
AD free for 5 mos.
Reinstated Celexa 10 mg. 12/14/11
Up to 20mg. 12/21/11 sick, horrible time
Down to 10mg. 2/7/12 giving up reinstating
5mg. 2/15/12.
4mg. 2/27/12.
3mg. 3/7/12
2mg. 3/14/12
1mg. 3/21/12
Last dose 3/27/12



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Old 01-15-2012, 10:16 PM   #20
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wld View Post
You have such good communication with your doctor. I need to do more of that. I haven't seen mine since Aug. I really like him, he's been what I consider a friend for 30 yrs. but he scares the crap out of me--stupid advice about ADs and such. He's always been right on with everything else. How'd you get so lucky with yours?
WLD-She actually was the doctor that put me on Paxil to begin with in Oct 2000. Then she took a leave from the practice and eventually left. I wasn't sure where she went but continued to stay at the same clinic different doctor. When I decided that I wanted to get off Paxil because I was tired of weighing so much and was tired of being so blah, I made the mistake of trusting the doctor I was seeing. I had told this doctor that I tried to wean off Paxil before, but ended up back on it right away, but knowing what I know now it was probably withdrawal to which she agreed. When I tried to wean the first time, there was not alot known about withdrawal so back on it I went. Anyway fast forward to when I started to wean back in May, I was having withdrawal problems with I can't remember what and was asking her for advice or if she knew of anyway to reduce the symptoms and she totally did a 180 on me; she said there was no such thing as withdrawal and that if I was having any problems it was because I needed to stay on the drug. I left the office that day feeling liked I had been slapped across the face and kicked in the can. I was so confused when it was such a change in attitude about it. I went home and Googled my previous doctor and found her by an article in a magazine about her: the reason she had left the clinic to begin with is because she was tired of the drug companies and the reps running everything. She was sure that there was a better way to treat people and it didn't always have to include presciption meds. She is now in a practice where she does kind of an intergrated approach to medicine, with a special interest in treat stress and anxiety. I know I am very lucky to have her because she is a real gem and wish there were more doctors like her!
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:50 PM   #21
Lovesthebeach
 
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Re: This too shall pass

So I had my first session with my therapist; she is really easy to talk to and I like her. I told her about my weaning and withdrawal symptoms. Cried as I was frustrated because I really wanted this transition to not taking an AD to be smooth and seamless. A walk in the park; it has been the exact opposite of that to say the least. We talked about all the things that I have going on that might be causing stress in my life and so on. The one thing she said that made me "bristle"; she said that we can give it a go without the drugs but if we are finding that just CBT doesn't always do the trick. She said, some people need to be on meds to help with low seratonin. Dang, not what I wanted to hear. The one thing that is really getting on my nerve (ok to clarify getting on my nerves this week) is this continual tightness in my throat. These physical symptoms are so annoying; it just creates a circle of doubt for me, like is there really something else wrong with me? It is draining; plus the last several nights, I have no problem going to sleep, but like clockwork, between 4:30 and 5 I am wide awake. So then my day starts out exhausted and also adds to some of the effects of my withdrawal and anxiety. I just so want to get to the point where my brain is CBT and I can just move along. I read everyone's posts and get a great ideas on how to deal with these things, but I am not very good at implementing them. I am hoping my therapist will help. Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight to give me a hopefully fresh postitive outlook tomorrow.
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:10 PM   #22
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Re: This too shall pass

Hi LovestheBeach!!

I had my first panic attack at age 13 (I'm 49 yrs. old now). Keep fighting and ignore the panic and keep going out, this is so key to recovery. I know because at age 21 I dropped out of college and was housebound. Once I found a great Doctor who taught me like a baby "to walk again", I returned to college six months later 800 miles away from my parents. I would not listen to my therapist, crying is good and does not always mean we are depressed, just emotional which is normal. You have a wonderful attitude and when you decide to return to work, you will do just fine.

I love the fact that they have a support group in your area for people suffering from anxiety and panic, good for you. Also, everything you have posted concerning your emotions and physical symptoms are withdrawal related and not you, so don't let it scare you.

Also, have you read Claire Weeks book, I have not but understand it is a wonderful book for those suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.

Suzanne
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Paxil 20 mg. - April 2001
Began taper - Feb. 3, 2011
15 mgs - 2 wks.
10 mgs - 2 wks.
5 mgs - 3-1-10
2.5 mgs - 4-6-11
5 mgs. - 5-8-11
5mgs. - liquid paxil 6-10-11
4 mgs - 6-24-11
4.5 mgs - 7-11-11
4 mgs - 7-29-11
3.6 mgs - 8-19-11
3.0 - 9-11-11
2.5 - 10-6-11
2.0 - 11-10-11
1.5 - 12-9-11
1.25 - 2-10-12
1.0 - 3-9-12
PAXIL FREE 3-12-12
Re-instated 3-15-12 10 mgs.


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Old 01-17-2012, 07:08 PM   #23
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Re: This too shall pass

Quote:
Originally Posted by kylelost View Post
Hi LovestheBeach!!

I had my first panic attack at age 13 (I'm 49 yrs. old now). Keep fighting and ignore the panic and keep going out, this is so key to recovery. I know because at age 21 I dropped out of college and was housebound. Once I found a great Doctor who taught me like a baby "to walk again", I returned to college six months later 800 miles away from my parents. I would not listen to my therapist, crying is good and does not always mean we are depressed, just emotional which is normal. You have a wonderful attitude and when you decide to return to work, you will do just fine.

I love the fact that they have a support group in your area for people suffering from anxiety and panic, good for you. Also, everything you have posted concerning your emotions and physical symptoms are withdrawal related and not you, so don't let it scare you.

Also, have you read Claire Weeks book, I have not but understand it is a wonderful book for those suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.

Suzanne
Thank you Suzanne-Your words are exactly what I needed right now; a little sympathy can go a long way : ) It is such a jerky ride patience is not one of my better qualities; I just want this withdrawal to be over over over!

You live in my favorite place in the US! I have been to Florida so many times I have lost count. Of course it is always in the winter/spring because a person needs a break from the brutal winters up here!
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June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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Old 01-17-2012, 07:12 PM   #24
kylelost
 
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Re: This too shall pass

I'm orginally from Louisville, KY.....I miss winter and the snow!!
__________________
Paxil 20 mg. - April 2001
Began taper - Feb. 3, 2011
15 mgs - 2 wks.
10 mgs - 2 wks.
5 mgs - 3-1-10
2.5 mgs - 4-6-11
5 mgs. - 5-8-11
5mgs. - liquid paxil 6-10-11
4 mgs - 6-24-11
4.5 mgs - 7-11-11
4 mgs - 7-29-11
3.6 mgs - 8-19-11
3.0 - 9-11-11
2.5 - 10-6-11
2.0 - 11-10-11
1.5 - 12-9-11
1.25 - 2-10-12
1.0 - 3-9-12
PAXIL FREE 3-12-12
Re-instated 3-15-12 10 mgs.


"If you are casting a play in hell don't expect Angels to show up as the actors"
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Old 01-18-2012, 03:55 PM   #25
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Re: This too shall pass

Today I have been in a reflective mood; wondering how did I get here to this place where I needed to take Paxil for 11 years, in the position now where I am dealing with all this withdrawal crap and digging myself out of this hole that I am in. I am angry at anxiety and how it has affected my life. I know I am on the right track with CBT, acupuncture, the group I found, the books, exercise, the doctors appts (in addition to the withdrawal I am also dealing with a bad back/herniated disc so the exercising is for withdrawal/stress and back). While I am motivated to get rid of it, I feel like it is almost consuming my life. I am also one that has health anxiety. My dad and brother both have some chronic/serious illness, I have extended family that suffer from a variety of illness/disease plus I have many friends with some pretty horrible diseases of which one is fatal. Every which way I turn there so illness or disease that it can be overwhelming. Which is probably why I am so sensitive to it. In my logical brain, I tell myself it's only anxiety and there is nothing wrong with me. After all, symptoms of diseases do not just occur while in line at the store or while driving a car. It stinks that anxiety has to act out like disease. Blah.
__________________
June 2011-Sept 2011-Weaned 5 mgs every few weeks

September 25, 2011 PAXIL FREE[/size][/font]

Major Crash-January 18th 10 Mgs Fluoxetine

February 17th 20 mgs Fluoxetine and benzo (only as needed)-doing ok

March 30th 2012-started HRT doing MUCH better. Also started weaning off benzo

May 15th-Benzo free-started weaning off Prozac-lowered HRT doses
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